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#1 Communication Tool for Women [St. Valentine’s Special]
What we measure, will receive our focus and with time, will change. That’s how our brain works.
Let’s have a look at where you are vs. where you want to be on YOUR Love-meter. Be honest with yourself. The first step towards a change, is to face the reality.
If your answer is 9 or 10 out of 10, your Love-meter is hot. Well done!
If your answer is 6, 7 or 8, your Love-meter is warm. Ask
If your answer is 0, 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 out of 10, your Love-meter is cold. You need to seriously consider to prioritise your romantic life and bring some change in your relationships.
Here is a question for you: why is your Love-meter cold and what’s missing? There may be many reasons but let me bring you to reality: if you don’t change it, no one will.
It takes an effort to bring passion in a long-term relationship. It takes practice and knowledge to stay in love for
If your Love-meter is not where you want to be, here is my top communication secret for women, to help you bring more connection and intimacy.
Express your wish AND a reason.
A man wants to know how to make a woman happy. He wants clear and concise direction.
For a woman it is hard to clarify what she wants, as in her brain things are intertwined and inter-connected with emotional past, present and future.
That’s why, in 90% of relationships, a man finds it hard to understand a feminine
Moreover, women express their wishes without stating the reason why these wishes matter to them. It’s totally understandable if we look at why that happens. Generally, parents don’t teach girls to mention reasons why they want things.
Remember, when you were a little girl, your wish was like a command for your dad? You were his princess, you got what you wanted, just by stating your wish. Because for a dad, little girl’s wishes are like commands.
It is not the same for a romantic partner. Our partner is looking
So, how shall you express your wish WITH a reason?
First, you choose a time when you are both calm and relaxed.
Second, you communicate your wish.
Third, you associate your happy state with his action. Show him that you will feel happier if he did XYZ.
Fourth, you confirm you are happier when he does it and congratulate he has achieved his goal of making you feel happier.
Let’s take an EXAMPLE: You would like to receive
If you think he will do it automatically without you asking, you are leaving this to a chance.
If you say: ‘I want flowers’. The chances are 50/50 that he would do it. Generally, men need to know what an action would bring to you and how much of a reward that is for him or for you.
If you say: ‘Honey, if you want to make me happy, bring me a large bouquet of pink
Once he brings you flowers, you show him how happy you are and thank him for making you the happiest woman on Earth. That will tap into his reward circuit and next time, he will be more likely to get you flowers.
Here is a video explaining how to best do that: click here to watch >>
With love
Darya
P.S.: If you want to chat with me
About the Author
A psychologist, Relationship Coach, a balanced mum and an enthusiastic traveller. Being a Siberian and married to a Greek, I know something about the polarity of emotions. I have lived in different countries and cultures and am fascinated by what makes people change their behaviour and transform themselves to be more
Feel free to learn more on www.daryahaitoglou.com
