10 life lessons from Disney Princesses for busy mums

Michelle Appleby - 7 Jan 18

1. Sisterhood and gal pals are really where it is at. We real life humans have known this for years but Disney came late to the “sista party” (but has made up for it with the Frozen phenomenon so we can forgive them.) No longer are charming princes rescuing princesses. These girls are relying on themselves or their sista-maybe from another mista-hood. Elsa wouldn’t be alive without Anna, and I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today if it weren’t for my “girl gang”, as they affectionately call themselves.

2. Never conceal. Always feel. Do let them know. Shutting your feelings down and yourself off from others and life never solves anything. It didn’t work for Elsa. It didn’t work for Rapunzel. It didn’t work for Jasmine. You’re a princess, deep down. It won’t work for you. Love makes us stronger but we have to be in it to feel it. Find the love (it might be somewhere you least expect it). Feel it. And feel your happiness soar.

3. Everyone has mother issues. Even princesses. I’m not talking wicked step mothers like poor old Cinderella and Snow White. Everyone knows step mothers are horrid to the core. (Except mine. She’s lovely.) I’m talking more crazy and controlling mums like Rapunzel or Jasmine (I know it was her dad but the point is the same) or emotionally distant ones like Merida’s. It’s absolutely fine to disagree with your mother. It’s also ok not to like her very much at times. She does not always know best. She is not a dictator and you do not have to do as she decrees. Mums are not perfect. Even princess’ Mums (please note princess’ mums are NOT always queens-that’s a title earned through merit and not birthing a princess). Princess’ mums fuck up as much as the rest of us mere mortals and they have their own secret shames and annoying quirks. And it’s totally ok to be angry with them about it all. Just remember it’s never too late to make a change to that relationship and take your chances to make amends when you can. For your own sake, not hers. Merida’s mother was an abandoned, half dead bear, before Merida realised she wasn’t so bad and was really trying her best (if badly) all along! (Please note: making a change to that relationship does not have to mean forgiving/forgetting or pretending nothing happened. Princesses make their own choices and changes about what is best for them.)

4. Everyone needs a fairy godmother. Don’t know who yours is? Look around! She’s the one with a dress or wheels to loan when you have neither and a hot date or interview to attend. She’s the one who still talks to you despite you wearing mum rags, classing the mice and other house-based vermin as friends and singing every other sentence. She’s the one getting you home by midnight when you “peaked too soon” on a girls night out. She may even be able to do something with a pumpkin other than carve a deformed face into it at Halloween! She doesn’t have to have a magic wand or wings (everyone knows real magic comes in the form of chocolate and cheap imitation prosecco). Just a real love and kindness for you, especially in your time of need. And if you’re very lucky (like me), you may have a few fairy godmothers.

5. It’s ok to sleep for 100 years. Sometimes we absolutely need to. (Slightly “off-princess”: It’s also ok to never want to wake up and to tell your handsome prince to fuck off if he dares to wake you!)

6. It’s never to late to see the light. Or fly away in a different direction. Life is for living and loving. If those aren’t happening, step out of the darkness, find the light, and follow it. When a magic carpet beckons, hop on, hold tight and don’t let go: let it show you a world you don’t get know. Rapunzel follows the lanterns and realises her life isn’t as it should be. Jasmine takes a chance on Aladdin’s magic carpet and sees a new way of living. Change is scary but the twinkly lights of happiness and the adventure of places new make it worth the white knuckle ride.

7. Kindness will always win. Anna’s love and kindness wins back her sister; the kindness of the fairy godmother sets Cinderella on the path to a new life; the seven dwarves sheltered Snow White when she needed it most; Merida saves her own mother with kindness; Giselle even manages to crack the heart of a hardened NY lawyer and divorcee. A true princess + kindness = always a winner. (And if kindness doesn’t break through to that concrete heart, know you tried, and walk away. A real princess knows when enough is enough.)

8. In the name of beauty and feeling good about yourself, it’s ok to improvise! Ariel used a fork to brush out those tangles. Giselle used rats and vermin to clean her new home. Desperate times! I have been known to use a hair (yanked out purely for this purpose!) to floss seeds from my teeth mid-date. I once heard of someone using a kitchen scouring pad to remove fake tan to ensure an even look all over. Whatever makes you feel good is ok!

9. NEVER have to give up any part of yourself for ANYONE. Ariel learned this the hard way. As did I. Luckily for both of us, we had a great dad who had the knowledge and skills to help put us back together but my “recovery” definitely took longer and was more hard work than Ariels. Learn from our mistakes. Stay true to yourself. Even in the name of love. And if you get into a pickle, it’s never too late to ask your dad to help you out.

10. Never underestimate the value of a good education. Belle shows us princesses can be both beautiful AND clever but being schooled in life and love is just as important. Even if it’s not what you expect and not want you wanted to see. A real princess sees life for what it is and can still overcome its challenges and set backs with positivity, kindness, and, of course, a bloody great fairy godmother.

So… even on your worst day, don your best dress, straighten your crown, and rock your inner princess…

Michelle Appleby

I’m a mum, a wife, a teacher and, above all else, a human. A human who has struggled to feel “good enough” most of her life but is slowly getting it right for herself, writing about life’s lessons along the way. (I’m defjnitely NOT a blogger type, whatever they are: I just like writing therapeutically.) **all views are MY OWN and not affiliated with any organisation or professional body**

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