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10 reasons why I dont feel mum’s guilt
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At the beginning of my motherhood journey, I felt guilty about a lot of stuff mums feel guilty about. I felt guilty spending money that John earned. It was not John that made me feel guilty. I made me feel guilty.
But, my guilt did not hang around for long. I sent it packing. And since then, she hasn’t returned. She vamoosed when I started seeing myself as a manager of our home. I deserved to be paid for my good work.
These are some of the other bits of motherhood I don’t feel guilty about anymore.
Not volunteering to help with reading in
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my children’s school. I have done my share of volunteering. Right now, I don’t have the time and the school won’t collapse without my help.
I don’t like shouting at my kids but sometimes I do. Feeling guilty about it won’t help. What will help is to apologise and work on a technique to help me not lose control.
I have refused to feel guilty about having a hobby I enjoy or working. I need a life away from motherhood. When I did not, I was always angry.
When I have some work to do, I let my children watch TV or play on their tablets. It
I don’t like shouting at my kids but sometimes I do. Feeling guilty about it won’t help. What will help is to apologise and work on a technique to help me not lose control.
I have refused to feel guilty about having a hobby I enjoy or working. I need a life away from motherhood. When I did not, I was always angry.
When I have some work to do, I let my children watch TV or play on their tablets. It
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has not damaged them in any way. They are sociable, they are fit and they are thriving in all aspects.
When I am exercising and my daughters interrupt, and without feeling any guilt, I tell them to leave me alone. They are only allowed to interrupt if someone has died or the house is burning down. Until then, they’ll have to wait. It teaches them to wait.
I don’t feel guilty about chucking out their toys. Or taking noisy toys away from them. Or even throwing out some artwork that is not good enough to go on my wall. In the past, I have been
When I am exercising and my daughters interrupt, and without feeling any guilt, I tell them to leave me alone. They are only allowed to interrupt if someone has died or the house is burning down. Until then, they’ll have to wait. It teaches them to wait.
I don’t feel guilty about chucking out their toys. Or taking noisy toys away from them. Or even throwing out some artwork that is not good enough to go on my wall. In the past, I have been
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caught – I apologise, take the art out but when they are not looking, throw it away again.
Telling my daughter the truth about a so-called friend who is not treating her right. I tell her to either put up with it or dump the friend.
When my daughters are stressing me, I don’t feel guilty telling them that stress is the number one killer of women. This fact makes them stop whatever they are doing.
Bribing my daughters to read books.
Refusing to buy them the ‘in thing’. They don’t need to follow the crowd. The crowd should follow
Telling my daughter the truth about a so-called friend who is not treating her right. I tell her to either put up with it or dump the friend.
When my daughters are stressing me, I don’t feel guilty telling them that stress is the number one killer of women. This fact makes them stop whatever they are doing.
Bribing my daughters to read books.
Refusing to buy them the ‘in thing’. They don’t need to follow the crowd. The crowd should follow
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them.
Yvonne
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