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View as: GRID LIST

10 ways the clothes have taken over!

1
I really didn’t realise how much of my life would be taken up with clothes after I first found out that I was expecting a child but 5 years down the line from the start of my first pregnancy the motherhood/clothes battle rages on. Here is how clothes have become part of parenting for me:


1. Needing to get maternity clothes pretty sharpish.
Previous to becoming pregnant for the first time I was actually relatively slim and even had a rather flat stomach. Though this is hard for many (including me) to remember, it

SelfishMother.com
2
meant that once my tummy began to grow my clothes needed changing pretty quickly. Cue some maternity jeans in my normal size but with an elasticated waist. ’My job here is done’ I thought. I had bought maternity clothes and that was that. But what a silly mummy to be, this is far from the end, here comes point 2!
2. Growing out of maternity clothes.
Oh yes, of course if you are as lucky as I am you will eventually grow a gargantuan bump where the clothes you wore in early pregnancy, if alive, would quickly die laughing at you trying to fit in to them
SelfishMother.com
3
and squeeze them around your bump. In fact the elastic in many of my early under bump jeans and trousers did give up the ghost as the strain was just too much in the end. Some of the over bump elastic survived but only to make me look like my bump was in the process of being cut in half with a cheese wire, not my most attractive look.
3. The milk coming in.
Once the little critter has decided being squished by too small maternity clothes is too much and has decided to exit the vicinity you may have to then deal with the breasts becoming as large as the
SelfishMother.com
4
bump had previously been. After having my second child my first once asked me if I was pregnant in my boobs! Yes son, it’s twins.
If you breast feed then your body shape may change rather dramatically and trying to find clothes with easy access for breast feeding can be a challenge. I had an endless wardrobe of baggy tops and feeding vests (worn with the same maternity jeans that I had been hoping to ditch within a few weeks like the Kate Middleton of Bedfordshire). I forgot however that I was not that determined, or glamourous.  Which brings me to my
SelfishMother.com
5
next point.
4. The amazingly slow rate of tummy shrinkage.
Seriously, hats off to you if you jumped straight out of bed and in to your skinny jeans after having a baby, but if you are like me then you actually lose your pregnancy weight rather slowly. The clothes changes you made  in pregnancy need to be reversed so you gradually go to the smaller maternity sizes then normal sizes, then smaller normal sizes. You can’t just put away your maternity clothes, particularly if you had a penchant for scoffing pick ’n’ mix and not exercising whilst
SelfishMother.com
6
pregnant. The problem is that when you are looking after a tiny human no one has time to check whether the shorts you wore at 4 months pregnant that you had packed away fit, or whether you have to stick with the trousers worn at 7 months. Leggings it is then.
5. The amazing rate of my baby’s growth.
Ah, the tiny human. They are out and they start off so tiny. If yours are like mine they grow really ruddy quickly! It is a blessing in so many ways when they are ’thriving’. And to those whose babies struggled in those early days I apologise as
SelfishMother.com
7
relatively speaking this is the slightly stubbed toe of the injury world. So, my boys were in newborn sizes for about a week, 0-3 months for about 3 weeks and 3-6 months for about 2 months max. That is a lot of clothes sizes to sort out in not much time. Added to my changing body shape and lack of time to do anything resembling normal human activity at this stage I was in danger of suffocating under the clothing carnage. All those gorgeous tiny clothes that you, your family and friends spent money on, you are lucky if the baby wears them once or twice
SelfishMother.com
8
before they are packed away forever. Or, until you forget how hard the early days are and decide it would be lovely to have another child, so you go through the trauma of childbirth and sleeplessness again and get 2 more wears. That’s all.
6. Body fluids.
That’s right, everyone knows that babies spit up and have the odd explosive poo. Only it’s not the odd one is it? It’s nearly every poo for some (why can’t nappies sort that yet?!). And the spit up isn’t just on them and their clothes it is on you too.
If you are unlucky enough to have a child
SelfishMother.com
9
with reflux then you know you or your child can go from being clean to drenched in seconds and you need to pack a change of clothes for both of you at all times, maybe a couple of changes for luck, and one in the car. It’s no good if little one is fresh and changed but you are wafting the smell of sour milk around and sporting the damp look, it will never be in vogue.
Children also have a habit of wetting when they have no nappy on. With boys it’s anyone’s guess where that is going, again be prepared for outfit changes. All of this means that you
SelfishMother.com
10
will have an endless pile of washing that would have been unimaginable before you had children. I seriously dont know how I, or my washing machine coped with this stage.
7. Weaning.
If I had my time again then I would only buy orange clothes for my children between the ages of 6 and 18 months. So many orange foods stain, particularly if blended in to a nice mush. Many a nice outfit has been dyed orange around the neck and beyond by a nice organic blended carrot or tomato based sauce. Annabel Karmel books should come with a warning. Nice clothes + food
SelfishMother.com
11
mush = bin it.
8. Money for clothes.
You will generally have less disposable income when you have kids. Of course that doesn’t mean that your little mini me’ s will go without. Although, they aren’t really dressed like mini me’ s any more as they are dressed in new, beautifully coordinated outfits freshly cleaned and ironed and you are dressed in the same old maternity clothes as yesterday that you tried to clean snot off with a baby wipe. Don’t even get me started on hair and makeup. Former me is appalled!
9. Potty training.
Designed to test
SelfishMother.com
12
the most patient of parents potty training basically means that, in a lot of cases, you need excess amounts of pants/trousers/skirts/shorts/socks/tights as children take a while to realise that they are responsible for their own bladder and bowel movements. Even years later kids can lose this sense of responsibility if they are really enjoying something else. You will think it is great they are having so much fun and then realise that too much fun has somehow overridden their awareness of bodily functions and just when you thought it was safe to not pack
SelfishMother.com
13
a change of clothes you realise that you were very, very wrong. Even worse, they could be sat on your lap.
10. Wear and tear.
One of my boys crawled for a long time and the knees on every pair of trousers were totally worn down. The other bottom shuffled and the bottom of every pair of trousers was totally worn down. There is no escape. Once they walk they fall over all the time, scraping knees or climb things they shouldn’t and get their clothes caught on something. You go out and spend a fortune on trousers for preschool/school and every day they
SelfishMother.com
14
come back with grass stains or the odd hem that is coming apart. Can they not just stay still? Of course they can’t but it would be cheaper and more cost effective. Just tell yourself that they are having fun.
Of course, once they are moving, schooling and going forwards with their life things may become a little easier in the clothes department just because you may have a little more time (let’s not mention clothes getting lost at school and needing replacing). For me I am still striving to find the bottom of the washing pile but I know that one day
SelfishMother.com
15
I will only have my husband’s and my clothes in there. I won’t miss the amount of washing but I will miss the smallness of their clothes and choosing outfits for them to wear. So for now I am trying to embrace a life under a sea of fabric and making the most of it before they want to choose it all themselves or they get so big that they disappear from the house on to new pastures. Tomorrow I may dress them in matching dinosaur tops just because I still can.
Now, if I can just lose that last half stone (stone).
SelfishMother.com

By

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- 8 Oct 17

I really didn’t realise how much of my life would be taken up with clothes after I first found out that I was expecting a child but 5 years down the line from the start of my first pregnancy the motherhood/clothes battle rages on. Here is how clothes have become part of parenting for me:

1. Needing to get maternity clothes pretty sharpish.

Previous to becoming pregnant for the first time I was actually relatively slim and even had a rather flat stomach. Though this is hard for many (including me) to remember, it meant that once my tummy began to grow my clothes needed changing pretty quickly. Cue some maternity jeans in my normal size but with an elasticated waist. ‘My job here is done’ I thought. I had bought maternity clothes and that was that. But what a silly mummy to be, this is far from the end, here comes point 2!

2. Growing out of maternity clothes.

Oh yes, of course if you are as lucky as I am you will eventually grow a gargantuan bump where the clothes you wore in early pregnancy, if alive, would quickly die laughing at you trying to fit in to them and squeeze them around your bump. In fact the elastic in many of my early under bump jeans and trousers did give up the ghost as the strain was just too much in the end. Some of the over bump elastic survived but only to make me look like my bump was in the process of being cut in half with a cheese wire, not my most attractive look.

3. The milk coming in.

Once the little critter has decided being squished by too small maternity clothes is too much and has decided to exit the vicinity you may have to then deal with the breasts becoming as large as the bump had previously been. After having my second child my first once asked me if I was pregnant in my boobs! Yes son, it’s twins.

If you breast feed then your body shape may change rather dramatically and trying to find clothes with easy access for breast feeding can be a challenge. I had an endless wardrobe of baggy tops and feeding vests (worn with the same maternity jeans that I had been hoping to ditch within a few weeks like the Kate Middleton of Bedfordshire). I forgot however that I was not that determined, or glamourous.  Which brings me to my next point.

4. The amazingly slow rate of tummy shrinkage.

Seriously, hats off to you if you jumped straight out of bed and in to your skinny jeans after having a baby, but if you are like me then you actually lose your pregnancy weight rather slowly. The clothes changes you made  in pregnancy need to be reversed so you gradually go to the smaller maternity sizes then normal sizes, then smaller normal sizes. You can’t just put away your maternity clothes, particularly if you had a penchant for scoffing pick ‘n’ mix and not exercising whilst pregnant. The problem is that when you are looking after a tiny human no one has time to check whether the shorts you wore at 4 months pregnant that you had packed away fit, or whether you have to stick with the trousers worn at 7 months. Leggings it is then.

5. The amazing rate of my baby’s growth.

Ah, the tiny human. They are out and they start off so tiny. If yours are like mine they grow really ruddy quickly! It is a blessing in so many ways when they are ‘thriving’. And to those whose babies struggled in those early days I apologise as relatively speaking this is the slightly stubbed toe of the injury world. So, my boys were in newborn sizes for about a week, 0-3 months for about 3 weeks and 3-6 months for about 2 months max. That is a lot of clothes sizes to sort out in not much time. Added to my changing body shape and lack of time to do anything resembling normal human activity at this stage I was in danger of suffocating under the clothing carnage. All those gorgeous tiny clothes that you, your family and friends spent money on, you are lucky if the baby wears them once or twice before they are packed away forever. Or, until you forget how hard the early days are and decide it would be lovely to have another child, so you go through the trauma of childbirth and sleeplessness again and get 2 more wears. That’s all.

6. Body fluids.

That’s right, everyone knows that babies spit up and have the odd explosive poo. Only it’s not the odd one is it? It’s nearly every poo for some (why can’t nappies sort that yet?!). And the spit up isn’t just on them and their clothes it is on you too.

If you are unlucky enough to have a child with reflux then you know you or your child can go from being clean to drenched in seconds and you need to pack a change of clothes for both of you at all times, maybe a couple of changes for luck, and one in the car. It’s no good if little one is fresh and changed but you are wafting the smell of sour milk around and sporting the damp look, it will never be in vogue.

Children also have a habit of wetting when they have no nappy on. With boys it’s anyone’s guess where that is going, again be prepared for outfit changes. All of this means that you will have an endless pile of washing that would have been unimaginable before you had children. I seriously dont know how I, or my washing machine coped with this stage.

7. Weaning.

If I had my time again then I would only buy orange clothes for my children between the ages of 6 and 18 months. So many orange foods stain, particularly if blended in to a nice mush. Many a nice outfit has been dyed orange around the neck and beyond by a nice organic blended carrot or tomato based sauce. Annabel Karmel books should come with a warning. Nice clothes + food mush = bin it.

8. Money for clothes.

You will generally have less disposable income when you have kids. Of course that doesn’t mean that your little mini me’ s will go without. Although, they aren’t really dressed like mini me’ s any more as they are dressed in new, beautifully coordinated outfits freshly cleaned and ironed and you are dressed in the same old maternity clothes as yesterday that you tried to clean snot off with a baby wipe. Don’t even get me started on hair and makeup. Former me is appalled!

9. Potty training.

Designed to test the most patient of parents potty training basically means that, in a lot of cases, you need excess amounts of pants/trousers/skirts/shorts/socks/tights as children take a while to realise that they are responsible for their own bladder and bowel movements. Even years later kids can lose this sense of responsibility if they are really enjoying something else. You will think it is great they are having so much fun and then realise that too much fun has somehow overridden their awareness of bodily functions and just when you thought it was safe to not pack a change of clothes you realise that you were very, very wrong. Even worse, they could be sat on your lap.

10. Wear and tear.

One of my boys crawled for a long time and the knees on every pair of trousers were totally worn down. The other bottom shuffled and the bottom of every pair of trousers was totally worn down. There is no escape. Once they walk they fall over all the time, scraping knees or climb things they shouldn’t and get their clothes caught on something. You go out and spend a fortune on trousers for preschool/school and every day they come back with grass stains or the odd hem that is coming apart. Can they not just stay still? Of course they can’t but it would be cheaper and more cost effective. Just tell yourself that they are having fun.

Of course, once they are moving, schooling and going forwards with their life things may become a little easier in the clothes department just because you may have a little more time (let’s not mention clothes getting lost at school and needing replacing). For me I am still striving to find the bottom of the washing pile but I know that one day I will only have my husband’s and my clothes in there. I won’t miss the amount of washing but I will miss the smallness of their clothes and choosing outfits for them to wear. So for now I am trying to embrace a life under a sea of fabric and making the most of it before they want to choose it all themselves or they get so big that they disappear from the house on to new pastures. Tomorrow I may dress them in matching dinosaur tops just because I still can.

Now, if I can just lose that last half stone (stone).

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