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5 Things I want my Daughter to know about my PND
Here’s 5 things I want her to know:
I did love you! – I could on numerous occasions have walked out of the front door and never come back. I knew you were safe and happy with your Dad and I just didn’t feel needed.
Our bond took time to grow – But it did grow! I didn’t feel that overwhelming rush of love as you were placed upon my chest and I didn’t feel
It’s okay to talk – The best thing I
I got the help for you – I walked into that doctors room with you at 5 months old asking for the help I needed for you. I didn’t want you to grow up thinking Mummy was unhappy and that you caused it (because you didn’t), I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, I wanted to feel like I had made the right decision having you and I just needed to know that how I was feeling was okay and that I would get better – for you. All I ever wanted was to be a good mum to you, to love you, to make memories with
I regret it every day – I have so many regrets from the first year of your life and some I will never be able to make right. Some are so painful I can barley think about them and some become less painful each day. My biggest regret is not holding you more in those first few weeks of your life,
The first year has been tough my darling but hopefully it will get better and when the time comes for me to explain you’ll understand.
Mum x