5 Things Parents Can Learn from Ab Fab

Anniki Sommerville - 2 Jul 16

‘Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie’  has just come out.  I haven’t seen it yet but literally can’t wait. At the moment the news feels relentlessly awful and I’m in need of some inane and frivolous comedy (I think we all are aren’t we?) If you think about it the programme was way before its time. Women drinking and behaving irresponsibly is old hat nowadays but back in the early nineties it all felt pretty revolutionary. Two women unencumbered by men. Seemingly not caring about whether they found a partner or not. Eddy possibly the worst Mum on the planet (completely self-obsessed and unable to parent in any meaningful way).

Anyway I think we have a few helpful things to learn from these feminist icons…

1. Fashion can pull you out of the doldrums 

Eddy’s relationship with fashion has always been irreverent. She doesn’t take the codes of fashion seriously. She doesn’t labour over what to wear. And she certainly NEVER worries about whether her clothes are age appropriate. She sports the loudest, most grotesque clothing the fashion industry has on offer. We can learn from this. When feeling REALLY TIRED and FLAT, a frivolous online fashion purchase can sort us right out. Last night I purchased a raincoat from Zara with the word ‘Awesome’ emblazoned on the back. Did it make me feel AWESOME? Yes. Will I look AWESOME? Possibly not but who cares? It made me feel good and I deserved it (after a week of being woken at 4.45am).

2. Don’t give a damn what others think (ever)

Throughout the history of Ab Fab we’ve seen both characters in a range of compromising positions (usually drunk and falling out of limos). Neither of them CARE one jot about what others think. I’m not advocating getting drunk all the time but isn’t it liberating to just let things go sometimes? As parents it’s easy to feel under pressure in terms of what others think of your parenting style. Next time your kid is going bonkers and someone is looking at you in a disapproving way, just think – ‘What would Patsy do in this situation?’  Whack on some red lipstick and hold your bedraggled, beehive head up high.

3. Your kids aren’t you. They’re different

We are taught that we can control our children and their destinies. We think that continually giving them the right activities, education, discipline, they’ll somehow turn out PERFECTLY. They’ll be us but better. But kids are not projects. And they have their own free will. So if you’re an alcoholic, hedonist then hopefully your kid won’t follow suit. This is a good thing. This means you can drink as much as you want and your kid will turn out like Saffy (perfectly straight laced, well educated but a bit boring).

4. Female friendship is AWESOME

Forget what I said about that Zara jacket- it will only bring a momentary high. It’s female friendship that’ll get you through crap times. We may not have such excessive nights out as Eddy and Patsy but we all know that feeling of being with people we love and regaining a sense of proper perspective. Sometimes all we need is the company of friends (instead of a small person who wipes their nose on your sleeve and then demands a Chupa Chups).

5. Don’t let the practical side of Mum-hood drag you down

Sometimes our brains are wired with all that heavy, functional stuff we have to do. Order online shopping- tick. Do washing- tick. Get name labels to sew into clothes-tick. Make something healthy that isn’t fried- tick. All that grim humdrum can really take it out of you. Eddy and Patsy teach us that there are always adventures to be had. If that means turning 6Music on in the middle of the day and doing the running man for three minutes in front of a stupefied child… then so be it. It’s all about cutting yourself a bit of slack.

As Patsy famously says: ”Darling, if you want to talk bollocks and discover the meaning of life, you’re better off downing a bottle of whiskey. At least that way, you’re unconscious by the time you start to take yourself seriously.”

Sage advice indeed.

Anniki Sommerville

I'm Super Editor here at SelfishMother.com and love reading all your fantastic posts and mulling over all the complexities of modern parenting. We have a fantastic and supportive community of writers here and I've learnt just how transformative and therapeutic writing can me. If you've had a bad day then write about it. If you've had a good day- do the same! You'll feel better just airing your thoughts and realising that no one has a master plan. I'm Mum to a daughter who's 3 and my passions are writing, reading and doing yoga (I love saying that but to be honest I'm no yogi).

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