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5 Things the First Year of Motherhood has taught me

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The first year of motherhood is a learning curve for most new mums. My first year of motherhood has been incredibly tough and its definitely been a roller coaster of a journey. Becoming a mum was a real struggle for me and the transition was really quite tough but this first year has taught me so very much.

Here’s 5 Things the First Year of Motherhood has taught me:

That being a mum still means time for you – This is so important and I think it is one of the reasons why today I feel much more positive about motherhood. When I

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became a mum in December last year it felt like my whole life was consumed into ‘just’ being a mum, ‘just’ caring for Isabella and all of my needs and wants got put to the bottom of the pile. But I wasn’t ever ‘just’ a mum, I was a wife, a friend, a daughter and spending time outside of that role of ‘mum’ is so important. Taking time for me means I get to see my husband on our own and we get to spend quality time together, it means I can go and have my hair done or have a massage and it means that I am also taking care of myself! After
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all you can’t pour from a empty cup.
That Motherhood is extremely hard at times and that it’s okay to hate it – Motherhood is hard, really hard! Having someone else rely on you for every want and need whilst you are questioning every decision you have made and googling baby poo at 3am in a morning because you aren’t sure the colour is okay. As Isabella grows I am reminded that it doesn’t get any easier, that motherhood is tough whatever age your children are, even if they are grown and have their own children. The worry never ends and a little
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moan about why motherhood is tough is more than okay!
Babies don’t need as much as mums do – How I wish I had realised this much earlier on. I spent so much money buying things I though Isabella needed, from clothes (way to many clothes), to sleep aids, to toys and in reality all she needed was nappies, wipes, milk, a few clothes (that were easy to put on and take off), a few cloths and not much else. I on the other hand needed more. Instead of investing money into buying things that Isabella didn’t need or wouldn’t remember, I should have been
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investing in myself and in my post-natal recovery.
That you’ll find a new passion and a drive within yourself – For me this was the thing I least expected. I expected to have the same interests and lack of confidence as before Isabella was born but I didn’t. All of a sudden I had a new found passion, a new drive and a new confidence in my own voice and my own opinion and I wasn’t afraid to share! And so I grabbed it by both hands and I finding out what I am interested in, what I want and what I don’t!
Your mum instinct is strong! – So trust
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it! If something doesn’t feel right then say no or seek help/support.
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- 15 Apr 19

The first year of motherhood is a learning curve for most new mums. My first year of motherhood has been incredibly tough and its definitely been a roller coaster of a journey. Becoming a mum was a real struggle for me and the transition was really quite tough but this first year has taught me so very much.

Here’s 5 Things the First Year of Motherhood has taught me:

  1. That being a mum still means time for you – This is so important and I think it is one of the reasons why today I feel much more positive about motherhood. When I became a mum in December last year it felt like my whole life was consumed into ‘just’ being a mum, ‘just’ caring for Isabella and all of my needs and wants got put to the bottom of the pile. But I wasn’t ever ‘just’ a mum, I was a wife, a friend, a daughter and spending time outside of that role of ‘mum’ is so important. Taking time for me means I get to see my husband on our own and we get to spend quality time together, it means I can go and have my hair done or have a massage and it means that I am also taking care of myself! After all you can’t pour from a empty cup.
  2. That Motherhood is extremely hard at times and that it’s okay to hate it – Motherhood is hard, really hard! Having someone else rely on you for every want and need whilst you are questioning every decision you have made and googling baby poo at 3am in a morning because you aren’t sure the colour is okay. As Isabella grows I am reminded that it doesn’t get any easier, that motherhood is tough whatever age your children are, even if they are grown and have their own children. The worry never ends and a little moan about why motherhood is tough is more than okay!
  3. Babies don’t need as much as mums do – How I wish I had realised this much earlier on. I spent so much money buying things I though Isabella needed, from clothes (way to many clothes), to sleep aids, to toys and in reality all she needed was nappies, wipes, milk, a few clothes (that were easy to put on and take off), a few cloths and not much else. I on the other hand needed more. Instead of investing money into buying things that Isabella didn’t need or wouldn’t remember, I should have been investing in myself and in my post-natal recovery.
  4. That you’ll find a new passion and a drive within yourself – For me this was the thing I least expected. I expected to have the same interests and lack of confidence as before Isabella was born but I didn’t. All of a sudden I had a new found passion, a new drive and a new confidence in my own voice and my own opinion and I wasn’t afraid to share! And so I grabbed it by both hands and I finding out what I am interested in, what I want and what I don’t!
  5. Your mum instinct is strong! – So trust it! If something doesn’t feel right then say no or seek help/support.

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Emma Cottam is the founder, editor and creator of the Positive Wellbeing Zine for Mums. Emma is mummy to one year old Isabella and lives in Lancashire, UK. Emma promotes positive wellbeing in parents through the Positive Wellbeing Zine, her #winningasamummy campaigns and through sharing her own experiences of PND, maternal mental health and motherhood.

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