7 WAYS KIDS ARE LIKE CATS

Molly Gunn - 22 Dec 15

There’s nothing more my two boys under five like than crawling around the floor on their hands and knees, miaowing. Today as I watched them pretend to be cats and curl into a basket and asked to be stroked, I realised that the similarity didn’t end there. This cat fascination wasn’t just game play, it was more than that. MY KIDS ARE LIKE CATS in more ways than I’d ever realised… (bear with me)…

ONE: They love to play with boxes. 
Show me a cat who doesn’t love to curl up in, hide under, or jump in and out of a cardboard box? Now show me a kid who isn’t ALL about the box when a present is opened or a delivery arrives? Cats can have a gay old time with an empty box, as can kids. My once-upon-a-time-cat Einstein (pictured with Rafferty) LOVED hiding under a box with a sneaky well-clawed paw peeking out ready to bat you should you come close. My kids love boxes in too many ways to count. The unwrapping, the hiding in them, curling up in them, the putting them on their heads, the making robots out of them… they even fight over empty ones! KIDS & CATS LOVE BOXES: FACT.

TWO: They ignore you when you don’t want something.
Me: “Boys would you like an apple?” Them: Nothing.
Me: “Boys would you like an apple?” Them: Nothing.
“BOYS WOULD YOU LIKE AN APPLE? ANSWER ME! SOMEONE. ANYONE. CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Them: Nothing.
Kids, like cat, seem programmed to ignore you when they do not need you or do not require something. If they are busy, they’re not going to mess around with platitudes or meaningless exchanges. They’re just going to ignore you and get on with it. Weep…

THREE: They pester you when you do want something.
When a cat wants something, you know about it. They harass you. The push their head against your legs, or jump up on your lap and whish their tail right in your face, they will start miaowing with increasing regularity until you can’t possibly ignore it any longer. Meanwhile kids go for the same tactic. They force you into submission through sheer repetition. “I want an apple. I want an apple. I want an apple. Apple. Apple. Apple. Apple. Apple. Apple.” ETC. They ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask until you feel like your head is going to explode and you just shout YES OKAY JUST STOP ASKING!!!!!

FOUR:  They go crazy when they need a poo.
I don’t know if this is a weird coincidence but Einstein used to go crazy when he needed a poo. Like running around the house in a whirlwind, eyes scarily wide, jumping up on window ledges, chasing his tail kind of crazy; then he’d do a poo and he’d be absolutely fine again. Tom my husband, and I, thought this was so funny. So imagine our amazement when we had a child… who he did EXACTLY THE SAME THING. Ok, he doesn’t chase his tail but if he had one, he might. Our eldest son is now nearly five, and we can always tell when he needs the loo, long before he admits it; his pace revs up, he acts a little crazy, says weird things, is more naughty, more unreasonable, he gets into a frenzy… and then… he goes to the loo and he’s chilled again. WHO KNEW?

FIVE: They love to wake you up early. 
I have some friends who used to barricade their door every night, forcing it shut with a chair (no joke), so that their cat couldn’t get in and wake them up. Because cats love to pad into a bedroom, jump up on the bed and pester you until you wake up and either give them food or give them some love. Kids of course, also love an early rise, and they love you to be there with them. Like this morning when my son Fox, forced me to go with him into the lounge at 4.45am to put the TV on. Of course he was asleep again by 6.30am, just when I had to get up…

SIX: They’re not scared.
OK, they don’t actually have nine lives, but kids like cats have a certain bravery about them. Mine do – especially when it comes to tree-climbing and wall-jumping. “I can do it Mummy, no I DON’T NEED HELP,” is what Raff confidently says to me, as I cower behind my hand and wish I didn’t have to watch him trying to make it to the top of a perilous looking playground climbing wall for 12 year olds, when he is four. Cats meanwhile are of course just as bolshy. When we got Einstein as a kitten he used to jump from one balcony to another on the TWELTH FLOOR of the apartment block we lived in. Gulp. I got vertigo even glancing down…

SEVEN: They love being tickled
This is the cute one. Kids, like cats, just love interaction with us when it involves us tickling them. It’s amazing how much they love it. The joy of seeing my boys’ happy faces while I tickle them is what makes it all worthwhile. I sometimes look at my kids when they’re grinning away and think THIS IS IT. THIS IS LIFE. TREASURE IT. Just like when, pre kids, I had cute cats and they purred lovingly at me as I tickled their fluffy tummy, and I wanted the moment to last forever. Of course, for both kids and cats there is usually a short window of joy that quickly turns to discomfort or annoyance – but we’ve got to take it when we can, right?

So there you have it, 7 ways kids are like cats. It is the silly season right, so am totally justified in this one?

This post is dedicated to Einstein, Elvis, Friday & Trumble. You were cool for cats.

Molly Gunn

Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.

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