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A lonely life as a military wife?

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Being a military wife is a lonely life.  It rhymes, so it must be right yes? Well actually no, not for me.

My husband came home from work a few weeks ago and said (slightly hopeful but already knowing my response) ”The date for the Summer Ball has been announced, shall we go?”  Without pausing for thought I flashed back ”We won’t have a babysitter.  But if you want to go on your own I really don’t mind”.  And I didn’t.  Such Balls are big events on the social calendar and he shouldn’t have to miss out.  But he doesn’t want to go without

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me, so that is that.

Our little girl is two and a half years old and I’ve not yet spent a night away from her.  As a couple we have been to two big functions in this time – both weddings – with my parents babysitting, and us getting home long before our carriage was due to turn back into a pumpkin.  Our daughter was all we talked about – to each other and to other people.

When we found out I was pregnant we lived in Lincolnshire, I gave birth when we lived in Oxfordshire, and now we live in Greater London.  All moves as part of military life.

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 It can be lonely at times, especially when you first move.  And you are pregnant.  And homesick.   We enrolled on the NCT classes and I made some bloody amazing and fantastically supportive friends, with whom I think we kept Caffe Nero in business, especially over those first months!  All settled, making good friendships – both us and our daughter – then we find out we are on the move again.

Fast forward 15 months and we are happily settled again.  Freya attends a wonderful pre-school (just for three mornings a week so I can get the housework

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done and attend a Pilates class if I’m lucky!)  and is making friends, as am I.  And I’m working part time at a football club (I love football, I honestly do and this job is a dream for me) where I’ve had conversations with Premier League footballers about our children’s names…never far from your thoughts, even at work!!  My husband actually said to me last week ”I could see what opportunities are here so we can stay round here long term”.  And I contemplated it. I actually thought about it, no smart answer, no questioning his logic.  In
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the most basic terms, we are happy here, so why not?  Yes we miss our families, yes I miss my best friends – they’ve been in my life for 30 years and counting, yes we miss the countryside.  But in our little family of three (four including the dog) we are happy.

Of course, at least once every couple of months I fire at my husband that I follow him around the country because of HIS job and it’s HIS fault I have no friends to go to the Rihanna concert with!  But then the next day I’ll be sitting on the tube home from a day out at Regent’s Park

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with my beautiful daughter, having snuck in a little visit to Oxford Street while she napped, and thanking my lucky stars that his job brought us here.
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- 23 Jun 16

Being a military wife is a lonely life.  It rhymes, so it must be right yes? Well actually no, not for me.

My husband came home from work a few weeks ago and said (slightly hopeful but already knowing my response) “The date for the Summer Ball has been announced, shall we go?”  Without pausing for thought I flashed back “We won’t have a babysitter.  But if you want to go on your own I really don’t mind”.  And I didn’t.  Such Balls are big events on the social calendar and he shouldn’t have to miss out.  But he doesn’t want to go without me, so that is that.

Our little girl is two and a half years old and I’ve not yet spent a night away from her.  As a couple we have been to two big functions in this time – both weddings – with my parents babysitting, and us getting home long before our carriage was due to turn back into a pumpkin.  Our daughter was all we talked about – to each other and to other people.

When we found out I was pregnant we lived in Lincolnshire, I gave birth when we lived in Oxfordshire, and now we live in Greater London.  All moves as part of military life.  It can be lonely at times, especially when you first move.  And you are pregnant.  And homesick.   We enrolled on the NCT classes and I made some bloody amazing and fantastically supportive friends, with whom I think we kept Caffe Nero in business, especially over those first months!  All settled, making good friendships – both us and our daughter – then we find out we are on the move again.

Fast forward 15 months and we are happily settled again.  Freya attends a wonderful pre-school (just for three mornings a week so I can get the housework done and attend a Pilates class if I’m lucky!)  and is making friends, as am I.  And I’m working part time at a football club (I love football, I honestly do and this job is a dream for me) where I’ve had conversations with Premier League footballers about our children’s names…never far from your thoughts, even at work!!  My husband actually said to me last week “I could see what opportunities are here so we can stay round here long term”.  And I contemplated it. I actually thought about it, no smart answer, no questioning his logic.  In the most basic terms, we are happy here, so why not?  Yes we miss our families, yes I miss my best friends – they’ve been in my life for 30 years and counting, yes we miss the countryside.  But in our little family of three (four including the dog) we are happy.

Of course, at least once every couple of months I fire at my husband that I follow him around the country because of HIS job and it’s HIS fault I have no friends to go to the Rihanna concert with!  But then the next day I’ll be sitting on the tube home from a day out at Regent’s Park with my beautiful daughter, having snuck in a little visit to Oxford Street while she napped, and thanking my lucky stars that his job brought us here.

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Wife. Mum of two. Country girl currently loving life in London.

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