A New Found Respect

Kimberley Hughes - 11 Aug 16

I hate to admit it, but I was one of them. One of the many people out there frowning, tutting and whispering under my breath about mothers and their uncontrollable children. I was the first to roll my eyes at a screaming toddler in a restaurant. I can’t count the amount of times I must have said to myself ‘I would never let my child behave like that.’

And even when I was pregnant, I had the exact same mind set. I would see mothers letting their toddlers eat ice cream and wotsits. Giving in to a tantrum with a chocolate biscuit. ‘I would never let my child do that’ I would say to myself.

But it wasn’t only this, I mean, I have never really given much thought into mothers. Never thought about what they had gone through. I’ll be honest (and I’m ashamed to say) I really thought it was a lot of moaning about nothing really.

And then I went into labour.

After 41 hours of being pushed to a limit I didn’t even realise I had, the distress, the emotion and the pain, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. And my outlook on life, and women especially instantly changed.

I was taken onto the ward only an hour after my daughter was born, and as it was after visiting hours none of my family were allowed to stay with me. It was just me, my new baby and three other women who were in exactly the same situation as me. Maybe it was the drugs and the exhaustion, but I looked around at these women, holding their new children and I just felt something I had never felt before. I respected these women immensely. If I could have walked I would have got up and given them all a massive hug and high five. What we had just done with our bodies was amazing. And women do this every single day. I think it’s hard for anyone to truly understand until they have been through it themselves, but I can honestly say I have not looked at a woman the same since.

That was 14 months ago and my respect has only grown since then. I have begun to witness first hand a toddler tantrum. And yes, I let my child eat wotsits every now and then. I have let my child eat ice cream. In fact my child eats pretty much what I eat, if you are a parent you will know it is impossible to get through one meal or snack without having to give your child some just to stop the whingeing (sometimes they just take it straight off the plate and eat it without you even knowing – so what can you do).

Now when I see a mother with a toddler that’s playing up, or throwing food in a restaurant or just generally not behaving I offer an understanding smile. I almost feel the need to tell the mum that their doing a great job. Maybe I should. It’s a tough job, being a mum – but we’re the best people for it.

Kimberley Hughes

Happy mama. | Instagram: iheartkimberley. | Twitter: iheartkimberley

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