A Snowplough, helicopter, Tiger & Me

Runninglikeagirl - 3 Mar 16

I am sure you are familiar with the titles as references to parenting styles, but a quick summary as a refresher.

Snowplough – A parent that is willing to and often does, remove all barriers that may get in the way to the child’s success, happiness, academic future etc. They remove them for the child to make the path ahead smoother.

Helicopter – A parent that hovers over her baby, toddler or child at all times, interacting, responding enthusiastically and the little one is never out of sight, let along out of mind.

Tiger – There has been lots of press about a Tiger mother, someone who plans to perfection their child’s trajectory. This mostly includes trying to fit in the talked about 10,000 hours to make an expert in the chosen activity: reading, piano playing etc.

Well what about the rest of us: the recent kick back against these styles with a new word at its heart: honesty.

A rise of honest motherhood stories across social media is building momentum, followed with pictures to back up the honesty and funny little stories behind the truthful pictures. I have embraced this honesty and truthful parenting. I always thought people where lying about sleep, weaning, milestones anyway and now through sites such as Selfish Mother an honest parenting style is letting us know it is ok.

Yet this morning the ‘Honest, winging it, relaxed, rolling with it’ parenting style completely left me. For the last week I have been a blend of snowplough, helicopter and if I am really honest a tiger mother. What bought this change in my personality ‘World Book Day’.

A wonderful day full of such good for literacy, enthusiasm for books etc, etc…but for mothers (and yes mostly mothers) it brings out a side that is animalistic in its level of competition.

The outfits are planned, ordered, preened, tried on, posted, reposted, adjustments made. The climax of the day brings together a sense of pride during the walk to school. Despite the cold, no coats are seen, for that would take away from the effort, the praise, the admiration for the costumes.

I was there, smiling sympathetically (yet completely judging) at the parent that had forgotten, but I was bursting with pride and wanted my badge, my medal, my certificate of validation of what a good mother I am because I have sent my children in to school in (obviously) great costumes.

I was glad to say that the Honest parenting had not completely left me, when my child (6) asked if I think he will win the best costume and I said:
“No, I don’t think you will” me

“But it is a great costume” boy

“Yes, but the winner will probably go to a handmade costume that took the mother 700 hours to make” me.

But of course a Tiger at heart, I do hope he wins…

Runninglikeagirl

...trying to navigate the roadmap of life as a female, as a mother, as a wife, as a sister, as a daughter, and as a friend. A guidebook would have helped, yet some wisdom appearing with age. Three children & a husband are travelling along with me.

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