1
We all have a side don’t we? Whether it stems from snippets of Feng Shui theory or childhood fears of sleeping too close to the door, we pick a side of the bed and stick to it – for life.
In a relationship this usually gets established pretty early on. In ours there wasn’t much discussion, I chose a side and therefore my husband was left with the other. In the early days he probably went along with this to please me, but didn’t comprehend this was part of the lifetime commitment he’d signed up to.
When we bought our flat four
SelfishMother.com
2
years ago I loved my side. It was cosy, it faced a little alcove in the wall housing a print I bought from Spitalfields market years ago. My bedside table was small but calm – just a lamp, a picture of me and my best friend and a book (covered in dust through neglect). I loved my side and I always slept really well.
My husband always claimed he was on the ‘wrong’ side and that he never slept quite as well as he used to. We joked and laughed about it, but I wasn’t moving! Until I got pregnant…
As I got further into my pregnancy the alcove
SelfishMother.com
3
was no longer cosy, but awkward. A sideways shift in the middle of the night for a toilet run was a pain. So, I agreed to go to the ‘other’ side. It was closer to the door (closer to the loo), closer to the kitchen (closer to biscuits at 4am) and generally easier to roll (literally) in and out of. Of course, my husband now being on the ‘right’ side meant he conveniently slept through all of this and was now having the best sleep ever.
When our little madam Edie arrived it made sense that I stayed on this side (much to husband’s delight). Edie
SelfishMother.com
4
slept in a crib at the base of our bed so it was easier with feeds, and meant I had room for a decent bedside table for the vast collection of ointments I had accumulated from the aftermath of birth. Plus my rolling maneuvers continued, as I’d had a c-section, so cosy alcove was still out of the question.
Now nearly four months in, Edie is sleeping really well, and the night feeds are no more! But I’m still lying next to the same bedside table with less ointnents but more crap; dummies, keys, hairclips, unused dental floss, the same dusty book.
SelfishMother.com
5
Plus the addition of an electric toothbrush charger flashing throughout the night. Husband is still sleeping ‘like a baby’. But I’m not happy with my new side.
I’ve been thinking about moving Edie into her own room for a while now, it feels like a big step, it’s the next stage of her growing up which comes with the usual feelings of sadness and excitement. There’s no reason why she can’t go into her own room now, she sleeps really well, but a little bit of me is clinging on to her staying a bit longer.
At the same time this also
SelfishMother.com
6
signifies a big step for me, and hopefully the next stage for my husband and I. I can go back to my little cosy alcove, (where this all started!) and we can have our own space back as a couple. A place where we can relax, treat ourselves to a bit of Celebrity Juice on TV in bed (oh how times have changed). And who knows, maybe I’ll even get to read a paragraph of that book?
Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?
SelfishMother.com
This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?
Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can for free and post immediately.
We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)
Daniella Matier - 11 Feb 15
We all have a side don’t we? Whether it stems from snippets of Feng Shui theory or childhood fears of sleeping too close to the door, we pick a side of the bed and stick to it – for life.
In a relationship this usually gets established pretty early on. In ours there wasn’t much discussion, I chose a side and therefore my husband was left with the other. In the early days he probably went along with this to please me, but didn’t comprehend this was part of the lifetime commitment he’d signed up to.
When we bought our flat four years ago I loved my side. It was cosy, it faced a little alcove in the wall housing a print I bought from Spitalfields market years ago. My bedside table was small but calm – just a lamp, a picture of me and my best friend and a book (covered in dust through neglect). I loved my side and I always slept really well.
My husband always claimed he was on the ‘wrong’ side and that he never slept quite as well as he used to. We joked and laughed about it, but I wasn’t moving! Until I got pregnant…
As I got further into my pregnancy the alcove was no longer cosy, but awkward. A sideways shift in the middle of the night for a toilet run was a pain. So, I agreed to go to the ‘other’ side. It was closer to the door (closer to the loo), closer to the kitchen (closer to biscuits at 4am) and generally easier to roll (literally) in and out of. Of course, my husband now being on the ‘right’ side meant he conveniently slept through all of this and was now having the best sleep ever.
When our little madam Edie arrived it made sense that I stayed on this side (much to husband’s delight). Edie slept in a crib at the base of our bed so it was easier with feeds, and meant I had room for a decent bedside table for the vast collection of ointments I had accumulated from the aftermath of birth. Plus my rolling maneuvers continued, as I’d had a c-section, so cosy alcove was still out of the question.
Now nearly four months in, Edie is sleeping really well, and the night feeds are no more! But I’m still lying next to the same bedside table with less ointnents but more crap; dummies, keys, hairclips, unused dental floss, the same dusty book. Plus the addition of an electric toothbrush charger flashing throughout the night. Husband is still sleeping ‘like a baby’. But I’m not happy with my new side.
I’ve been thinking about moving Edie into her own room for a while now, it feels like a big step, it’s the next stage of her growing up which comes with the usual feelings of sadness and excitement. There’s no reason why she can’t go into her own room now, she sleeps really well, but a little bit of me is clinging on to her staying a bit longer.
At the same time this also signifies a big step for me, and hopefully the next stage for my husband and I. I can go back to my little cosy alcove, (where this all started!) and we can have our own space back as a couple. A place where we can relax, treat ourselves to a bit of Celebrity Juice on TV in bed (oh how times have changed). And who knows, maybe I’ll even get to read a paragraph of that book?
Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?
Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!
Why not , too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!
Daniella lives in Surbiton, Surrey, with her husband Karl, rescue dog Diva, and baby Edie. Before madam Edie arrived Daniella worked in Marketing, now she's just about coming up for air and having a go at writing.