close
SM-Stamp-Join-1
  • Selfish Mother is the most brilliant blogging platform. Join here for free & you can post a blog within minutes. We don't edit or approve your words before they go live - it's up to you. And, with our cool new 'squares' design - you can share your blog to Instagram, too. What are you waiting for? Come join in! We can't wait to read what YOU have to say...

  • Your basic information

  • Your account information

View as: GRID LIST

ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR CLOSE UP, BABY?

1
Ever since I went for my son’s 20 week scan and gazed at that grainy image that amazes us all, I’ve been seized by a relentless obsession to photograph his growing up (inspired in part because I thought that even my poor efforts at photography had to be better than the hospital’s….).

As the years passed I’ve captured all those major milestones for posterity but it’s so much more than just that – It’s the record of how he’s becoming a man. I’m not ashamed to admit that since his arrival and that of his little brother, I’ve become

SelfishMother.com
2
fascinated by the way photography helps me chart their early years in a way I wouldn’t have appreciated before.

Pre-kids, we did our travelling and I remember thinking that I had to take as many shots of orangutans and jungles, mountains and deserts as I could to nudge my memory when I was old with a blue rinse. Someone once asked me why I took so many arty pictures of stones… but the motivation was entirely different.

Society has undoubtedly become more visually-focused since I was a child but now I find that the urge for the shutter to click

SelfishMother.com
3
yields the satisfaction that I’ve captured another little piece of growing up; a priceless memory and something that I can pass on to them when they’re older – probably accompanied by a long and boring story about, “remember when you did XYZ?”. These are the shots that will make them cringe in front of girlfriends and that best men might thank me for one day.

Make no mistake, I’m no Rankin or Annie Leibovitz but I like to think I can ‘see’ a shot. The only problem is that this comes with the necessary shedding of any veil of

SelfishMother.com
4
embarrassment because my subjects are not always going to play ball.

This is how it normally goes when selfish photographer mum leaps into action…..

1) “Oh my God, that’s a great photo!” I screech. “Stay still! Freeze!”

2) Older son refuses to look at the camera while younger son beams with a glorious smile that evaporates……the minute his brother finally gives a reluctant and momentary rictus grin. Co-ordination is not a family strength.

3) Meanwhile I’m sprawled on the ground as if I’ve gone into labour again to ‘get

SelfishMother.com
5
the right angle’.

4) When I finally do get them both to pose together, the shutter speed’s too slow and I stare at a blurred shot of half an arm and a brick.

5) Husband rolls eyes…………

6) Undaunted, I decide to repeat the whole thing ten minutes later.

So much do I value my photographs that I’ve happily forgotten to get off escalators and walked into lampposts in the process of getting them. It doesn’t matter as long as I have the photographic evidence I want of that first wobbly bike ride without stabilisers or a reminder

SelfishMother.com
6
forever of my mini pirate or cowboy.

But I’m not alone. Now I’m a mum, I find that there’s quite some pressure to being proficient with a lens. It’s almost an essential, along with knowledge of how to make them sleep through the night and how to deal with a nappy explosion.

This is especially true in the wake of my fellow parent paparazzi. In my heart I know that my children and their friends don’t care if I capture their unrecognisable painting of a squirrel/ jellyfish/ space rocket (or whatever it vaguely resembles) for posterity or if

SelfishMother.com
7
I manage to point the camera in the right direction long enough to get that unmatchable nativity play performance……but I’m sure as hell feeling the need to take a picture (along with every other parent in the room) and put it straight on Facebook for others to admire……

So is this urge to document everything that they do part of the culture of competitive parenting or just a physiological tic that happens the minute your wriggly bump becomes an actual baby (and prize photographic fodder)? Probably a little of both I imagine.

It’s

SelfishMother.com
8
incredible how children these days are complicit in the whole compulsion as well. I hated being photographed as a child and I still do. I will never feel entirely comfortable with it but thanks to me it’s something my own children have long learnt to put up with. I guess that’s going to continue in the future for them too when they have their own children to dote on.

After all I spent a long time preparing for them both to arrive so I really don’t want to miss any of the excitement now and I feel that I really should provide a good ‘after

SelfishMother.com
9
sales service’. Perhaps that’s eclipsed though by the fact that (here comes the soppy bit), no-one’s smile is ever going to be as good as either of theirs so I’m going to take the chance to remind myself of that with every opportunity I get.

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

SelfishMother.com

By

This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?

Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can sign up for free and post immediately.


We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)

- 5 Feb 15

Ever since I went for my son’s 20 week scan and gazed at that grainy image that amazes us all, I’ve been seized by a relentless obsession to photograph his growing up (inspired in part because I thought that even my poor efforts at photography had to be better than the hospital’s….).

As the years passed I’ve captured all those major milestones for posterity but it’s so much more than just that – It’s the record of how he’s becoming a man. I’m not ashamed to admit that since his arrival and that of his little brother, I’ve become fascinated by the way photography helps me chart their early years in a way I wouldn’t have appreciated before.

Pre-kids, we did our travelling and I remember thinking that I had to take as many shots of orangutans and jungles, mountains and deserts as I could to nudge my memory when I was old with a blue rinse. Someone once asked me why I took so many arty pictures of stones… but the motivation was entirely different.

Society has undoubtedly become more visually-focused since I was a child but now I find that the urge for the shutter to click yields the satisfaction that I’ve captured another little piece of growing up; a priceless memory and something that I can pass on to them when they’re older – probably accompanied by a long and boring story about, “remember when you did XYZ?”. These are the shots that will make them cringe in front of girlfriends and that best men might thank me for one day.

Make no mistake, I’m no Rankin or Annie Leibovitz but I like to think I can ‘see’ a shot. The only problem is that this comes with the necessary shedding of any veil of embarrassment because my subjects are not always going to play ball.

This is how it normally goes when selfish photographer mum leaps into action…..

1) “Oh my God, that’s a great photo!” I screech. “Stay still! Freeze!”

2) Older son refuses to look at the camera while younger son beams with a glorious smile that evaporates……the minute his brother finally gives a reluctant and momentary rictus grin. Co-ordination is not a family strength.

3) Meanwhile I’m sprawled on the ground as if I’ve gone into labour again to ‘get the right angle’.

4) When I finally do get them both to pose together, the shutter speed’s too slow and I stare at a blurred shot of half an arm and a brick.

5) Husband rolls eyes…………

6) Undaunted, I decide to repeat the whole thing ten minutes later.

So much do I value my photographs that I’ve happily forgotten to get off escalators and walked into lampposts in the process of getting them. It doesn’t matter as long as I have the photographic evidence I want of that first wobbly bike ride without stabilisers or a reminder forever of my mini pirate or cowboy.

But I’m not alone. Now I’m a mum, I find that there’s quite some pressure to being proficient with a lens. It’s almost an essential, along with knowledge of how to make them sleep through the night and how to deal with a nappy explosion.

This is especially true in the wake of my fellow parent paparazzi. In my heart I know that my children and their friends don’t care if I capture their unrecognisable painting of a squirrel/ jellyfish/ space rocket (or whatever it vaguely resembles) for posterity or if I manage to point the camera in the right direction long enough to get that unmatchable nativity play performance……but I’m sure as hell feeling the need to take a picture (along with every other parent in the room) and put it straight on Facebook for others to admire……

So is this urge to document everything that they do part of the culture of competitive parenting or just a physiological tic that happens the minute your wriggly bump becomes an actual baby (and prize photographic fodder)? Probably a little of both I imagine.

It’s incredible how children these days are complicit in the whole compulsion as well. I hated being photographed as a child and I still do. I will never feel entirely comfortable with it but thanks to me it’s something my own children have long learnt to put up with. I guess that’s going to continue in the future for them too when they have their own children to dote on.

After all I spent a long time preparing for them both to arrive so I really don’t want to miss any of the excitement now and I feel that I really should provide a good ‘after sales service’. Perhaps that’s eclipsed though by the fact that (here comes the soppy bit), no-one’s smile is ever going to be as good as either of theirs so I’m going to take the chance to remind myself of that with every opportunity I get.

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!


Why not join the SM CLUB, too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!

Amanda Willard is a TV tart, nappy changer and lover of words. As a freelance writer she contributes to various online mags and blogs as well as The Huffington Post UK blog. She has also worked for many years in entertainment PR across TV and film. Amanda is also mother to two Ginger Ninja boys - Ben (7) and Charlie (3) and lives in South London with husband Dirk.

Post Tags


Keep up to date with Selfish Mother — Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on social media