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Babies and Burpees – A letter to my younger self.

1
A letter to the girl in the photograph,
I’m writing to you from 2017, 10 years has passed and what a 10 years it has been. You’ve achieved so much more than you ever imagined and yet sometimes you are still so hard on yourself – some things never change. I decided to write to you because Facebook has come a long way and I now have this strange ability to see you everyday. Your keystrokes come to life again and I’m reminded of you, where you are and more importantly, how you are. My heart sinks when I see your words written there, full of sadness,
SelfishMother.com
2
crying for attention and just so completely lost. I’m here to tell you that you are coping so much better than you know. You are strong, something you will never ever lose, be proud of this.
I made you promises years ago, on lonely junk food driven nights where you had alienated yourself because you didn’t feel worthy of anything. I tried to tell you that people would come and go but you would get out of this situation. You would be free of this time when you scoured shops for baggy items that would cover you, yet still show your identity. But you
SelfishMother.com
3
didn’t even know what that identity was anymore. When you would call in sick to work because low self esteem was your sickness. When you wasted years at Uni in rolling days of depression and boredom still unsure of what life was all about. When you would go to parties and conclude that you were the biggest and therefore ugliest girl in the room. When you wished summers away because you spent days hiding inside, covering yourself up and using your hayfever as an excuse because you were ashamed to expose any inch of skin.
You did it. YOU did it. It’s
SelfishMother.com
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taken 13 years to achieve but you have achieved your wildest dream. If it wasn’t for you, you wouldn’t be sat here happily married with two beautiful children. That’s right, that body you hate will grow you two children and you will determinedly eat healthily for them during and after pregnancy. That body you hate will feed both your children. That body you hate is incredible.
You’ve smashed so many goals that sometimes you even forget they were goals. You made the conscious decision to be dedicated to your health and you’re now the healthiest
SelfishMother.com
5
weight and size you’ve been since you were 17 years old. Not only that but you are well on your way to having abs…yes I know – SERIOUSLY! Also, you LOVE the gym and it’s probably you’re favourite place. You know how to fuel your body, and instead of sitting on your lazy ass you’re growing a whole new one (there’s a new bum trend, you’d call it the JLo – but it’s all about the Kardashian butt now).
I’m going to be honest, it feels really good to be able to write this post with before and after photos, knowing I’m not even finished
SelfishMother.com
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yet. But I’ve waited over 10 years for this moment, and I’m doing it for you, for all those times you cried your heart out, for the time you went skiing and you were in pain from the ski boots that didn’t fit round your legs, for the time you went clubbing in a rugby top because it hid you, for all those times you cried in shop changing rooms. For you.
This will now serve as a constant reminder to seize every opportunity to be the best possible version of yourself. Keep working hard at everything you do. Do not settle, you can achieve anything you
SelfishMother.com
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put your mind to. Life is way too short to waste years and years putting it off, or giving up. Life is so precious, let’s not wait until time has almost run out, because at the end of the day none of us know when that will be.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11
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- 22 Feb 17

A letter to the girl in the photograph,

I’m writing to you from 2017, 10 years has passed and what a 10 years it has been. You’ve achieved so much more than you ever imagined and yet sometimes you are still so hard on yourself – some things never change. I decided to write to you because Facebook has come a long way and I now have this strange ability to see you everyday. Your keystrokes come to life again and I’m reminded of you, where you are and more importantly, how you are. My heart sinks when I see your words written there, full of sadness, crying for attention and just so completely lost. I’m here to tell you that you are coping so much better than you know. You are strong, something you will never ever lose, be proud of this.

I made you promises years ago, on lonely junk food driven nights where you had alienated yourself because you didn’t feel worthy of anything. I tried to tell you that people would come and go but you would get out of this situation. You would be free of this time when you scoured shops for baggy items that would cover you, yet still show your identity. But you didn’t even know what that identity was anymore. When you would call in sick to work because low self esteem was your sickness. When you wasted years at Uni in rolling days of depression and boredom still unsure of what life was all about. When you would go to parties and conclude that you were the biggest and therefore ugliest girl in the room. When you wished summers away because you spent days hiding inside, covering yourself up and using your hayfever as an excuse because you were ashamed to expose any inch of skin.

You did it. YOU did it. It’s taken 13 years to achieve but you have achieved your wildest dream. If it wasn’t for you, you wouldn’t be sat here happily married with two beautiful children. That’s right, that body you hate will grow you two children and you will determinedly eat healthily for them during and after pregnancy. That body you hate will feed both your children. That body you hate is incredible.

You’ve smashed so many goals that sometimes you even forget they were goals. You made the conscious decision to be dedicated to your health and you’re now the healthiest weight and size you’ve been since you were 17 years old. Not only that but you are well on your way to having abs…yes I know – SERIOUSLY! Also, you LOVE the gym and it’s probably you’re favourite place. You know how to fuel your body, and instead of sitting on your lazy ass you’re growing a whole new one (there’s a new bum trend, you’d call it the JLo – but it’s all about the Kardashian butt now).

I’m going to be honest, it feels really good to be able to write this post with before and after photos, knowing I’m not even finished yet. But I’ve waited over 10 years for this moment, and I’m doing it for you, for all those times you cried your heart out, for the time you went skiing and you were in pain from the ski boots that didn’t fit round your legs, for the time you went clubbing in a rugby top because it hid you, for all those times you cried in shop changing rooms. For you.

This will now serve as a constant reminder to seize every opportunity to be the best possible version of yourself. Keep working hard at everything you do. Do not settle, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Life is way too short to waste years and years putting it off, or giving up. Life is so precious, let’s not wait until time has almost run out, because at the end of the day none of us know when that will be.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

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I am a 32 year old mother of two, N who is 23 Months and S who is 3. I am a stay at home mum, trying to be a Freelance Writer but my children have other ideas. Your feedback is extremely welcome - negative or positive, it's how we grow :) thankyou for reading!

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