Beautiful Beginnings

Christina Ellerton - 20 Jan 19

When I think back to my beautiful beginnings some memories of my childhood I can remember like yesterday. 25 years have passed and that childhood of mine is still having an impact on me. If I close my eyes, I see colours, feelings, people, buildings, games played but the overarching memory is that of pace, it was slow.

My days were long and when I say long, they seemed long as it really only consisted of 4-5 elements. The garden, my bedroom, the park, the kitchen and being dressed in neon shorts and t-shirts from the local market, which was across the road from C&A.

All these elements mixed with playing on my bike, my dolls, roller-skating and hanging out in the driveway of my house for hours pretty much sums up how I grew up. I don’t remember going out that much, I don’t remember glitzy activities, packed weekly schedules or brunching in trendy coffee shops with friends. I don’t remember elaborate children’s parties either I remember home.

Nowadays I’m a proper grown up and a mother and hold the awe-inspiring responsibility of raising developing personalities. Once family life goes quiet and I’m sat on that commuter train I find some of the bigger questions occupying my mind like the classic and actually ridiculous self-doubting question of ‘am I providing a great childhood for the girls?’

When I was 12 my Dad was made redundant and we had to leave our family home to relocate 3 hours north of London. Every time I revisit that house and stand outside looking at number 28, I get the same feelings that I did 25 years ago. I feel like my childhood is suspended in the bricks of that house as for me this is where I began. It was my first happy place and even writing these sentences makes me feel emotional. This must be the reason why now as a mum I have this passion for creating the best childhood I possibly can. I even started an Instagram page dedicated to it. But it’s not for the big stuff, I want to create the feeling I had of security, simplicity and play.

I’m really not bothered about children’s clothes, Disney on ice, swanky hotel holidays, expensive toys or playrooms packed wall to wall with every toy that has come out since 2013. When I’m woken for that drink of water or toilet trip what stops me drifting back to sleep is how I’m doing as a parent. I’m don’t want to replicate my family home from all those years ago, but I do want some of that timeless simplicity and pace factored in to our footprint as a family.

Fast forward a few weeks to a cold grey Monday morning at 8.30am. It was the indescribably busy school run and I was, as usual rushing around packing school bags and signing school forms. My eldest daughter said to me ‘mummy are we late or early?’ I replied, ‘early of course’ and bundled them into the car and sped off to make sure she genuinely was early.

A couple of days later she asked me twice to make sure her homework was in her bag. It had made me think – did she doubt me and why was she worrying about some of the details of life that she shouldn’t be worried about? Was the school putting pressure on them to arrive on time or was this just a comment that meant nothing?

 Or could it be that she had started to pick up on our hectic family life? The general expectation and acceptance these days is that we operate at a million miles an hour and that no ball is to ever be dropped, ever! As I write this blog, the phrase ‘hurry up or we’ll be late’ is buzzing around my head and it can make me shiver.

It comes out of my mouth frequently and it makes me feel so guilty rushing and pulling them around. I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to our quickened pace of life, and I don’t always disagree with it. It’s exciting, fun and fast when it works but my advice would be to enjoy taking things slow and make time in the diary for slow days and stay at home days.

 For most of us we can’t change how we live, it’s life and the wheels have to turn and bills have to be paid. What we can do though is be far more aware of the relationship we have with being busy and the greater effect it can have. I’m not the only one out there that lives life in the fast lane but for me, time at home is the heavenly slow lane where I find solace and a connection to myself.

Christina Ellerton

London based mother to 2 shining stars. Blogging about children's confidence and other life tales.

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