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Being a mum of boys

1

I never really saw myself as a mum of boys. Girls, I get. I’d heard people say that boys mess up your house and girls mess up your head but better the devil you know – little boys were a mystery to me! There seems to be a notion that one of each is the holy grail – but two boys?

11 years down the line and two boys later I’ve discovered a thing or two about the younger version of the male species, some of which I didn’t bargain for.

1. Boys are unstoppable
When I was pregnant someone told me that boys should be exercised like dogs

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2
– i.e. a good run twice a day. I let out a nervous half-laugh – an overstatement, I hoped. Fast forward to 18 months into toddlerhood, and what became my daily ritual of eldest boy banging on the front door to go to the park before I’d swallowed my cereal. This boy is like a springer spaniel after 10 Red Bulls, there is simply no tiring him out. Compared with their female friends my boys rise earlier – WAY earlier – and don’t stop until they drop.

No two children are the same of course, but 10 years down the line and with a seven year old

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3
now in the mix I can safely say that for my mini men, exercise is key. It’s a serotonin and oxytocin thing, apparently.
2. They will pee on your floor
Let’s be honest, some MEN don’t always manage this so it should come as no surprise that boys don’t always have the best aim. As soon as potty training is mastered and your darling son is ready to relieve himself ‘big-boy style’ it only takes the tiniest distraction – their entire body will follow the sound taking their perfect arc with it. Top tip: Toilet balls are a game-changer.
3.
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Their private parts fascinate them
I know – shocker. Boys’ obsession with willies starts surprisingly early starting with pure wonderment and pride at what lies between their legs. Stage two, which can last several years, is the grabbing stage and it seemingly never gets old. Toddler erections only serve to fuel their favourite pastime. As bewildering as it is, it’s arguably the one thing all boys seem to have in common.
4. Boys just ADORE their mummies
Listen up, mums of sons! This I was not expecting. All children love their mummies of course,
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5
but the way boys show their love to their mothers is something else. That’s not to say that girls aren’t loving, but man – boys! In my 11 years of being a mother of boys I have been showered with heart-melting kisses, marriage proposals and cuddles for as long as they’ve know how. Granted, my experience of girls is second hand but if the mama grapevine is to be believed there is definitely something in it.
5. Toilet humour
Are you detecting a theme here? I don’t remember reading about toilet humour as part of child language development but
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6
believe me – it’s a thing! If I had a pound for the times I’ve heard ‘bum, wee, fart [giggle], bum, wee, fart [giggle]’ I would be one rich mama. Girls aren’t immune to the hilariousness of bums and willies of course, but for boys it never gets old. Like, NEVER.

6. They like stuff that moves
I was always sceptical about the idea that boys are naturally more drawn to trains and cars and I’m very careful to avoid imposing gender stereotypes. But put them in a room full of toys and my sons would always grab something with

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7
wheels. Whether it’s watching windscreen wipers or charging a car into a wall boys gravitate towards motion – it’s just the way they’re built. According to ​researchers​ boys are attracted to objects that improve their spatial abilities and long distance navigation skills – something thought to be linked to their traditional role as hunters. Who knew?

Boys can be challenging, gross and totally exhausting and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

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Two young boys kissing their mother

- 18 Nov 17

I never really saw myself as a mum of boys. Girls, I get. I’d heard people say that boys mess up your house and girls mess up your head but better the devil you know – little boys were a mystery to me! There seems to be a notion that one of each is the holy grail – but two boys?

11 years down the line and two boys later I’ve discovered a thing or two about the younger version of the male species, some of which I didn’t bargain for.

1. Boys are unstoppable

When I was pregnant someone told me that boys should be exercised like dogs – i.e. a good run twice a day. I let out a nervous half-laugh – an overstatement, I hoped. Fast forward to 18 months into toddlerhood, and what became my daily ritual of eldest boy banging on the front door to go to the park before I’d swallowed my cereal. This boy is like a springer spaniel after 10 Red Bulls, there is simply no tiring him out. Compared with their female friends my boys rise earlier – WAY earlier – and don’t stop until they drop.

No two children are the same of course, but 10 years down the line and with a seven year old now in the mix I can safely say that for my mini men, exercise is key. It’s a serotonin and oxytocin thing, apparently.

2. They will pee on your floor

Let’s be honest, some MEN don’t always manage this so it should come as no surprise that boys don’t always have the best aim. As soon as potty training is mastered and your darling son is ready to relieve himself ‘big-boy style’ it only takes the tiniest distraction – their entire body will follow the sound taking their perfect arc with it. Top tip: Toilet balls are a game-changer.

3. Their private parts fascinate them

I know – shocker. Boys’ obsession with willies starts surprisingly early starting with pure wonderment and pride at what lies between their legs. Stage two, which can last several years, is the grabbing stage and it seemingly never gets old. Toddler erections only serve to fuel their favourite pastime. As bewildering as it is, it’s arguably the one thing all boys seem to have in common.

4. Boys just ADORE their mummies

Listen up, mums of sons! This I was not expecting. All children love their mummies of course, but the way boys show their love to their mothers is something else. That’s not to say that girls aren’t loving, but man – boys! In my 11 years of being a mother of boys I have been showered with heart-melting kisses, marriage proposals and cuddles for as long as they’ve know how. Granted, my experience of girls is second hand but if the mama grapevine is to be believed there is definitely something in it.

5. Toilet humour

Are you detecting a theme here? I don’t remember reading about toilet humour as part of child language development but believe me – it’s a thing! If I had a pound for the times I’ve heard ‘bum, wee, fart [giggle], bum, wee, fart [giggle]’ I would be one rich mama. Girls aren’t immune to the hilariousness of bums and willies of course, but for boys it never gets old. Like, NEVER.

6. They like stuff that moves

I was always sceptical about the idea that boys are naturally more drawn to trains and cars and I’m very careful to avoid imposing gender stereotypes. But put them in a room full of toys and my sons would always grab something with wheels. Whether it’s watching windscreen wipers or charging a car into a wall boys gravitate towards motion – it’s just the way they’re built. According to ​researchers​ boys are attracted to objects that improve their spatial abilities and long distance navigation skills – something thought to be linked to their traditional role as hunters. Who knew?

Boys can be challenging, gross and totally exhausting and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

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I'm a mother of two boys, Sammy and Jacob. I'm all about baby safety and run a website full of baby proofing tips and product reviews.

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