Big Legs Though!

CantSeetheWood - 15 Aug 16

I was talking to a friend recently about things people said to us when we were young that have stuck with us into adulthood.  Throwaway comments that have shaped how we view ourselves.  For me, one that springs to mind happened at a family party, when I was a teenager.  I can still remember what I was wearing and how pleased I had been that my hard earned money had purchased the tight purple skirt with the lace overlay.

At the party I was introduced by my mum to an Aunt that I hadn’t seen for quite some time.  She kissed me on the cheek, looked me up and down and said…

‘Lovely looking girl now isn’t she? Big legs though!’

This damning, negative observation on my physique was addressed to my mother as if I wasn’t even in the room.  A comment that has stuck with me for nearly twenty five years.  I hear it in my head sometimes when I am choosing what to wear on an evening out.  It’s there in changing rooms as I try to ease a tight pair of jeans over my thighs!  My Aunt has probably never given the comment a second thought however that little earworm has returned to me time and time again.

In turn, my friend relayed how a couple of classmates had once called her ‘Thunder Thighs’ in jest in junior school.  A name that could, in most circumstances just be shrugged off.  That time however as a pre-teen with a rapidly changing body it stuck and still shapes the person she sees when she looks in the mirror many years later.  Despite being wonderfully fit, giving birth to two children and having a gorgeous figure, she still judges herself against criteria set by a couple of ten year olds!

We have seen this week female Olympians being discussed in terms of their looks rather than their achievements and it makes me a little sad inside.  I want my daughters to grow up in a world where it is unnecessary to point out the size of someone’s thighs, breasts or their nose because it really shouldn’t matter.

For all of the reasons above I am conscious of how I and others talk to my daughters.  Appearance is still too big a priority amongst women.  I am not blameless.  I have commented on people’s looks, shape and size in a negative manner.  I have judged people.  My gift to my daughters will be that I will try and keep this in check from here on in.  I will teach them that we are all beautiful, whatever we look like and that everyone’s differences should be celebrated.

So to start, I will learn to celebrate my own ‘big legs’ and be thankful for them every Christmas when there are some walnuts around that need cracking!

CantSeetheWood

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