Body Positivity & Raising Daughters

Laura Krasij - 4 Jul 18

Since becoming a mother, and perhaps specifically a mother of a daughter, I have been more aware of my body and my relationship with body image. I am really conscious of using negativity around the way I look and feel in my own skin, as I never want Edith to feel anything but comfortable in hers. Words such as fat or ugly are ones that I try so hard not to use when describing myself because I don’t want her to pick up on these. It’s not that I’m suddenly really happy with my body, I’m not, but I do have a new found respect for its functionality rather than judging it on its looks. I am incredibly proud that my body has not only grown a few cells into a baby, but housed that baby for 41 weeks, solely provided food for that baby until 4 months old and continues to feed a 16 month old. I am so thankful for my body, in whatever way it looks, for doing that and my view is amazing. Yes I have a little added softness around my edges but I do not view my body as harshly as I did before having a baby.

It is not only my take on body image that has changed but my awareness of my relationship with food has been called in to light. I view Edith as a clean slate, she is perfect, untouched by advertising and bad habits so I want to protect that for as long as I can. By this I mean that she doesn’t want the comfort from junk food that we as adults seek. She does not have the link between eating chocolate and feeling happy (if only for a short time before the guilt sets in). She is the product of what we teach her. I don’t want to make her a junk food junkie, so I am very aware of the foods I offer to her.

I have been dairy free since Edith was 6 weeks as she had suspected CMPA. This was shortly followed by soya, nuts, eggs and coconut being eliminated from my diet too. The results were very visible and Edith’s reflux, constant discomfort and being sick after every feed finally stopped. The effect on me was visible too. I lost weight and at one point was 10kg lighter than before I was pregnant. Notice the use of ‘was’. Having so many dietary restrictions meant grabbing food on the go was insanely difficult. Lots of things were off limits and being a tired new Mum, with insatiable hunger from breastfeeding, saw me reaching for sugary snacks as a consequence.

I became a secret eater, from Edith that is. As she got older and was weaned she developed a very healthy interest in food. Every food. If I was eating it, she wanted to try it. So I wouldn’t eat biscuits or sweets in front of her. I would sneak a snack when she was playing or sleeping. I was very aware that if I wasn’t happy for her to eat it I shouldn’t be happy for my body to ingest it either but I was already a sugar addict and stopping isn’t that easy.

Now she is almost 17 months old she picks up on everything. She repeats words that she overhears and is still stealing my food given any opportunity. She loves food, blueberries in particular. She eats a lot, something I sometimes worry about, but I am confident that I am feeding her fruit and vegetables, she eats pretty much anything including kale and spinach. She has a gorgeously rounded tummy and is always on the move. I am proud that I have made her. She is incredibly smart and beautiful. I want her to know this so I tell her everyday. I do not comment on how much she is eating or make any remark when she asks for more fruit, or more dinner (which is usually a whole load of vegetables and chicken) but other people do. Comments that she is always eating or for her to put her fat tummy away, even if not intended in a negative way, really play on my mind. Her healthy relationship with food is so important and she needs to be praised for this. I think it’s lack of thought when these words or phrases are used but these will lay foundations for her future, as I said she picks up on everything.

Having a daughter has opened my eyes and changed my stand point. My views on the current popularity on lip fillers, eye brow micro blading and the ever present fad diets and fake tans leave me a little sad inside. I don’t ever want my baby to think she needs to change the way she looks because society says so. No one should be changing their body with procedures and injections because they are striving towards some perfect image, which has probably been photo shopped I must add, that they have seen in the media. Men and women alike should be celebrated for being healthy and happy. I am not saying that we shouldn’t take care of our bodies and eat a balanced diet but this should be what we strive for, not a manipulated version of the body beautiful.

I want to be healthy so that I can be around to see Edith grow up and get married and have children of her own, if that’s what life has in store for her. So I’m trying to curb my bad habits with as much vigour as I have to teach her to do the same. I have to take care of me, to be able to take care of her. I am attempting to reduce my refined sugar in take and today has been day 1. So far, so good. I want to set a good example and if there was ever a good motivation this is surely it.

Laura Krasij

I’m a thirty something first time Mum to a sassy and independent little girl, who is changing my perspective on most things in life, including my self.

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