Brace yourself, here comes that feeling!

Mrs_Fox - 26 May 16

I always thought that being a mummy was going to be a given, just one of those things that happens for everyone. Right? Nope! Very wrong.

When I discovered that I had PCOS, babies were the furthest thing from my mind. I was 25 and having a ball! But once I was told that I might struggle to conceive, gradually having a baby became all that I wanted.

Once me and the boy tied the knot a few years later, we thought we’d start trying right away because we knew it might take a while. And it did. Fast forward through 5 years of trying, heartbreak, horrible tests and procedures, hiding the tears when friends and family made their announcements and getting really, really angry with the world, we decided to try IVF.

Bam! After our first round of IVF, two wonderful, magical lines appeared on that pregnancy test. And then 4 weeks later we saw not just one, but two wonderful little heartbeats flickering away on the screen. Twins! Eek! Twins!

After an easy pregnancy, things went a bit wrong at 29 weeks and I developed pre-eclampsia. Our beautiful teeny tiny fighters were born weighing just 2lb 10oz and 2lb 13oz – a boy and a girl, how blessed are we?! After 6 weeks in SCBU, they were allowed home with nothing wrong with them at all, just needing to grow. So we took our little family home and our lives were complete….

Our beautiful bubbas are now two and it has honestly been the most wonderful two years of our lives. After their dramatic entry into the world, life is good. But it’s starting again.

I never thought that I’d want any more than 2 children, especially having a boy and a girl. But I do. People seem to think we’re done because we have twins and one of each, but I’m not collecting a set! I did have just one pregnancy and it was cut dramatically short. And now my friends and family are starting to have baby number two and I’m jealous!

There, I said it! I have everything I ever wanted, but can’t help but feel life is still a teeny bit unfair. How I would love to go for baby number three and I think we will, but it’s just not that simple for us. We have to save for IVF, go through lengthy painful procedures and run the risk of me developing pre-eclampsia again. Scary. If indeed we were to be so lucky again.

I know how lucky I am, I really do. I know so many people don’t get the chance to experience the joy I do every single day. But that’s the crux, because my kids are so amazing, why wouldn’t I want another?

Mrs_Fox

Mumma to two year old boy/girl twinnies. Working hard and loving life. Favourite things are cooking, eating, shopping, days out, nights in, my friends and most importantly my family. Always late, but worth the wait. Wife, Mama, Daughter, Sister and Friend. Wannabe superhero!

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