Breast is best?

BroganSasha - 6 Aug 17

I don’t know about anyone else but I felt so much pressure to breastfeed by the midwives/nurses in hospital (need to point out there was some who were supportive with whatever decision I made). It was always a part of my plan, to try if I could. Whilst I was pregnant I was reading ‘How to grow a baby, and push it out’ by Cleemie Hooper aka @Mother_of_daughters, she’s amazing by the way. It’s basically a no nonsense step by step guide on what to expect in each week of pregnancy. I read it week by week so it was prolonged & I could enjoy it more, I felt like I had a proper sort of ‘bible’. I highly recommend as maybe you’ll be able to read up to week 40 unlike me! 😬 (See picture of book above) Anyways as I was saying, what with Loveday-Bloom being preemie we couldn’t try her on the boob straight away but I did express (milked myself like a damn cow) so she did have my milk for the first 6 weeks until my milk supply slowed down.

Side note – Any Mums that are reading this & looking for a breast pump I used the Medela swing! Can’t speak more highly of it, I used the standard medela pump in hospital that cost over £1000 to buy (I know, wtf) so I obviously wasn’t going to buy one of those so I purchased the swing for £89.99 from John Lewis & shit you not I used to get the same amount of milk from this home pump than I did with the hospitals pricey one so get on that one girls, right little bargain there!

Anyways, back on track. I did feel reassured that she was getting my milk as it’s the best thing for them when they’re so small. However what I found was not all Mums could even produce enough milk to feed their babies, so I suppose I was lucky that I had enough for 6 weeks worth but I couldn’t help but notice that these Mums were almost made to feel guilty, the same guilt you had thrown at you if you didn’t want to breastfeed!

Luckily for me I never had those words ‘breast is best’ said to me, otherwise I’d have probably snapped (no one wants to see that) but there were endless posters saying it 🙄 I just feel there is an unnecessary pressure for it! There was a point where we nearly ran out of my expressed milk & I felt like I was getting a telling off, I wanted to scream at them that I was trying my best! I could literally do no more than what I was doing & I was made to feel like I wasn’t good enough. Eventually I decided I wanted to try LB on formula because that was always what I wanted if she went full term, so we introduced aptamil.

During the time we was experimenting with formula mixed with EBM we were also trying her on the boob, we probably did about 4 full breastfeeds the time we was in NICU but I always felt as though she didn’t get enough, and how can you really tell what they’re getting? This was my main concern! All the nurses assured me ‘You just know’ but sorry what a load of shite, you don’t ‘just know’. I had to push & push before we introduced bottle as well as breast, I was always told ‘next time’ we’ll try the bottle & it just felt like it was never going to happen so in the end I said no, I’m not being palmed off anymore, today we’re doing it (oops, I was a tad pushy, don’t mess with a mama) & the difference in LB was unreal, she was so much happier taking it from a bottle & it put me at ease too because I knew exactly what she was getting, I didn’t like the guess work of breastfeeding!

I will never forget the day a lovely nurse called Ali looked after us, she could tell I wasn’t happy with breastfeeding & knew my concerns about being pushed into it by other nurses. She pulled me aside, we had a good chat & said don’t like doing it Brogan? Then stop! It’s your decision and she’s your baby, you know what’s best. And from that day I stopped trying her on the boob & we persevered with the bottle, I’m so grateful for her support that day because it made me feel confident I made the right decision!

Another side note – Anyone that is thinking of bottle feeding I highly recommend the Dr Brown anti colic bottles. So far so good for us *touch wood*!

All in all do what’s best for you both, breast isn’t best & neither is the bottle. It’s literally what’s ‘best for your baby’ (haha sorry so cliche) that should be the bloody slogan on all those posters dotted around the hospital, (thank me later). I just know as soon as I was made to feel in control of my decision I felt so much calmer & confident, no Mum should feel guilty or pressured into doing something they don’t feel 100% with. I also wanted Jordan to feel more involved so for us it made sense to bottle feed (and he could participate in the night feeds, brilliant!) it was always better for us in the long run especially as I plan on going back to work full time *shudder*.

I hope this helps anyone that’s feels ‘Mum guilt’ because they didn’t breastfeed or for a Mum to be who’s deciding what they want to do. The answer is whatever you bloody want, you’re the mama!!

Brogan x

BroganSasha

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