Building Self-Belief Through Hypnobirthing

Leanne Lawrence - 17 Apr 18

Our beliefs define us, they help us to gauge our moral compass and judgement allows us to decide what is safe and what isn’t.

We can increase our self-belief when we do well with something, but what if we have never been through that experience before.  When does self-belief turn into self-doubt?  It’s definitely a learned skill. 

Self-belief plays a huge role in pregnancy and birth.  It is by no means the only thing you need and if things go south it’s not because you didn’t believe in yourself enough.

However, without any self belief then we can’t even begin from a place of positivity.  We have to believe in ourselves, in our innate ability to do this and whether we totally rock it or we just pass the finish line, we still did it.

I meet so many mums-to-be, not just the women I teach, but also through friends, in cafes and playgroups and you can tell, just by talking to them that they are going to have a really rough birth.  They are so focussed on all the bad and the pain, oh the pain, and their friend who had a horrific experience.  They don’t want to hear that, birth can be incredible and they don’t believe in themselves enough to know they can make a difference.

These are intelligent women, they have fantastic jobs, they have stood in front of rooms full of people and talked confidently, they have gone travelling on their own, they have run marathons, they have climbed the career ladder and beaten others because they knew they were the stronger candidate.  They did these things because they believed they were true, they believed they were capable.

These same women, then have no belief in their own bodies when it comes to giving birth.  So why do we doubt ourselves, when we have proved our strength in so many other ways?  Why do we doubt ourselves when women have been giving birth for years, and have successfully continued our presence on the planet.  Surly we must be quite good at it?!

Changing our mindset, understanding our bodies and having the confidence and belief that we can absolutely do this is a game-changer.

So how do we go about boosting this self-belief?   Because we can help ourselves to believe, it is as much a learned skill as anything, although it takes practice.  And then, fake it till you make it.

• Practicing Positive Thinking – teaching our brains to think differently – rather than allowing them to follow that spiral of anxiety that is so easy, we break that pattern.
• Using Positive Affirmations – go on Pinterest and type this you will get thousands and just take the ones that appeal to you the most.  Stick them round the house, repeat them to yourself each day, make them your mantra.  Listen to affirmation tracks on youtube.
• Change your Language – if you talk positively about birth, you will begin to view it positively.  If we change the words we use, then we will stop thinking of birth as a procedure and begin to think of it as something that we are capable of.
• Stop the Comparisons – Yes, your friend or colleague may have had a really tough birth, but they are not you.  You might not.
• Perfection is NOT the Aim of the Game – There is no such thing as a perfect birth, it needs to be positive.  This means you should feel supported, listened to and be treated with respect.  Believing in a positive birth, is much easier than believing in a perfect one.  Surrounding yourself with a team of people that think positively will help hugely too, they need to be believe in you, but they  can’t until you believe in yourself.

You can’t control your entire birth, so learn and inform yourself about the things you can control and then let go of the things you can’t.

In my Hypnobirthing classes we work on self-belief.  We talk about these fears and this confidence and what an impact they can have and then we build you up together until you believe in yourself.  Speak to your antenatal teachers before you book up and find out what they include in their classes.

Self-belief is an attitude.  So when it comes to birth, bring it!

Leanne Lawrence

Leanne is kept busy with the 3 boys in her life (2 small and one big) and teaching Hypnobirthing in her crusade to reduce fear around birth and supporting women postnatally in her spare time. After 15 years in London, she is now based on the borders of Hertfordshire, Bedfordshire & Buckinghamshire where she enjoys muddy country walks, laughing with friends and trying to make the world a little greener, one small change at a time!

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