Busting the myths of Gender Neutrality

Jess Helicopter - 12 Feb 19

Let’s tackle some ridiculous myths about not labelling kids toys and clothes with specific genders OK? Because I’ve heard some REALLY stupid stuff making the rounds. From people who AREN’T stupid and should definitely know better. It’s over a year since John Lewis took down their signs for “boy’s clothes” and “girl’s clothes” in store but it seems there are still a lot of people out there who haven’t grasped the concept. I’m gonna break it down for you:

Gender Neutral Clothing / Toy sections aren’t full of beige clothes / toys or not trucks or dolls.

This is the silliest thing I’ve heard so far. That all kids clothes will become grey and beige. No. It means that we stop deciding for kids what colours they are limited to wearing / toys they are limited to playing with. If anything, the best thing any clothing or toy shop could do is add MORE colours to their palate. I’ve lost count of how many mums have complained to me about the lack of colours other than pink or cream for girls. And boys like reds, yellows, greens, oranges and EVEN PINK. Just start widening the selection folks…it’s not hard! The same with logos…. Not all clothing needs to be fairies / unicorns vs superheroes / trucks.

YES IT’S OK IF YOUR GIRL WANTS TO WEAR PINK / YOUR BOY WANTS TO PLAY WITH CARS. This isn’t the issue. It’s to give ALL kids the choice of ALL the colours/toys. Both my kids play with Lego. Both play with (pink) Walkie Talkies. (But why are they pink?)

Gender Neutral Clothing sections aren’t going to make your kids become transgender.

This is a biggie: Unless your kid suffers from gender dysphoria …of which only an estimated 0.08% of the UK population is, then they will not be “made” or “persuaded” into becoming trans. This is very important. Broadening clothing choice and letting your boy play with My Little Pony is not going to have any negative impact on his life. Gender dysphoria is not common, it’s an inherent condition over which the child has no choice. Sure, there are kids who want to experiment with different looks, clothes, toys… Some of those will have gender dysphoria and will go on to seek treatment. But most of them won’t.

But if your child does have gender dysphoria then the last thing you want for them is to be made to feel more at sea by clothing brands telling them what they should and shouldn’t be wearing to feel accepted and “normal” in society.

Gender Neutral Clothing / toy sections aren’t going to make your kids “gay”.

Firstly, this section is purely for those who think homosexuality is in anyway a negative. Secondly, people are born with their sexuality. Just as they are born with gender dysphoria or not. So nothing external, like a pink t-shirt, is going to make your kid gay. If you take that doll away from your little boy, then you’re an idiot and you’re doing your child a massive disservice.

Gender Neutral Kids Clothing isn’t about Androgyny.

It’s not about taking ANY gender away from kids. There are some schools of thought who propose we should take gender from children so they won’t be constrained by their barriers  E.g. girls might be more likely to go on to study stem subjects, boys won’t grow up with toxic masculinity. Some may see this as a step too far, but as a general rule, just rallying for clothes/toys to be made and marketed with both genders in mind would be a good start.

Has Gender Neutrality gone too far?

Some people seem to take it as a personal affront that other parents let their kids decide what clothes they wear or toys they play with?! I’ve been met with cries of “taking this gender neutral business too far!” when a couple of friends saw that a little boy was ALLOWED to wear a dress in public. Until any kid feels safe walking down the street with their friends, wearing WHATEVER they want, then Nope! The conversation about gender neutrality hasn’t gone far enough.

Jess Helicopter

Jess is a wine-addled, social media tart, feminist (does this need to be said?!) and chronic over sharer. She lives in Cardiff with her husband, children and some cats. Half heartedly trying to carve out a career by fancying herself as a bit of writer.

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