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But I’m not a hipster?!

1
I am 29 years old and I am not a hipster. Or an Earth Mother. Or a ”mum-mum”.

I  have come to the sad realisation that I am,in fact, labelless. This, to me, has turned my world upside down and made me question my very being. (I am nothing if not a little dramatic).

Allow me to explain……

Before motherhood, I never gave much thought into where I ”fit in”. I had (have) lots of friends, a sense of identity and a general lack of care as to what others thought. I certainly didn’t constantly compare myself to strangers.

And then I had

SelfishMother.com
2
children.

I have sat at the edge of baby groups watching rather hippy women breastfeeding looking like Mother Earth incarnate, willing myself to be a bit more,well, earthy. I notice how contented and serene they look and begin to feel jealous. Their clothes said ”I put my children first”, their plaited manes said ”I’m entirely comfortable in my own skin”. I was in awe and stared a lot.

The next week at baby group, which I think is RUBBISH, by the way. I wore old clothes, had no make up on and was ready to become an Earth Mother. That was until

SelfishMother.com
3
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, which made me feel neither serene or comfortable, and I quickly decided this ”label” was not for me.

Back to the drawing board.

A few days later whilst  playing with the boys  checking instagram for the 10047927 time that day, I got to thinking about the cool mothers I follow. They wear red lipstick IN THE DAY TIME, they have trainers that are not for sport, they have amazing creative jobs in London and run amazing companies. ”Yes!” I thought, this is where I could be labelled. It would take a teeny

SelfishMother.com
4
bit of work of course, but yes I could be a hipster Mum.

After 45 mins on ASOS and a quick dash to Boots for some red lipstick I was ready.

Well, ish. My reality was slightly different to the image I had of myself in my head. Annoyingly, red lipstick looks shit on me. Really shit. The clothes I had ordered looked like I was playing dress up, and were only on for about five minutes before I got puked on.

This was harder than I thought.

I mentally started evaluating my friends.

A friend of mine is the uber mum-mum. She bakes constantly, does

SelfishMother.com
5
fun crafts, her kids have the best handmade costumes etc etc. She is always on time, with her brood immaculately presented, every time I see her I am sick with jealousy.

From the sofa, I watch my 2 year old pick off 362 stickers and stick them on his baby brother. That is about as crafty as it gets round here.

I sighed, coming to the sad realisation that I may be labelless forever.

Later that night, watching Eastenders, I finally had my epiphany.

Phil Mitchell is a really bad parent. Really bad. So is Shirley Carter. In fact, so are quite a

SelfishMother.com
6
lot of people on tele. Maybe some are actually bad in real life.

I may not be an earth mother, or a hipster, or a mum-mum, but I’m certainly not a bad mum.  Perhaps, just perhaps, being just a mum may not be so bad after all.

And maybe, that could be my own label…. ”Just Mum” and I could wear it with pride and go back to not giving a stuff how others are doing this thing.

Yep, that’s my best idea yet.

Now back to Eastenders.

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- 22 Sep 15

I am 29 years old and I am not a hipster. Or an Earth Mother. Or a “mum-mum”.

I  have come to the sad realisation that I am,in fact, labelless. This, to me, has turned my world upside down and made me question my very being. (I am nothing if not a little dramatic).

Allow me to explain……

Before motherhood, I never gave much thought into where I “fit in”. I had (have) lots of friends, a sense of identity and a general lack of care as to what others thought. I certainly didn’t constantly compare myself to strangers.

And then I had children.

I have sat at the edge of baby groups watching rather hippy women breastfeeding looking like Mother Earth incarnate, willing myself to be a bit more,well, earthy. I notice how contented and serene they look and begin to feel jealous. Their clothes said “I put my children first”, their plaited manes said “I’m entirely comfortable in my own skin”. I was in awe and stared a lot.

The next week at baby group, which I think is RUBBISH, by the way. I wore old clothes, had no make up on and was ready to become an Earth Mother. That was until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, which made me feel neither serene or comfortable, and I quickly decided this “label” was not for me.

Back to the drawing board.

A few days later whilst  playing with the boys  checking instagram for the 10047927 time that day, I got to thinking about the cool mothers I follow. They wear red lipstick IN THE DAY TIME, they have trainers that are not for sport, they have amazing creative jobs in London and run amazing companies. “Yes!” I thought, this is where I could be labelled. It would take a teeny bit of work of course, but yes I could be a hipster Mum.

After 45 mins on ASOS and a quick dash to Boots for some red lipstick I was ready.

Well, ish. My reality was slightly different to the image I had of myself in my head. Annoyingly, red lipstick looks shit on me. Really shit. The clothes I had ordered looked like I was playing dress up, and were only on for about five minutes before I got puked on.

This was harder than I thought.

I mentally started evaluating my friends.

A friend of mine is the uber mum-mum. She bakes constantly, does fun crafts, her kids have the best handmade costumes etc etc. She is always on time, with her brood immaculately presented, every time I see her I am sick with jealousy.

From the sofa, I watch my 2 year old pick off 362 stickers and stick them on his baby brother. That is about as crafty as it gets round here.

I sighed, coming to the sad realisation that I may be labelless forever.

Later that night, watching Eastenders, I finally had my epiphany.

Phil Mitchell is a really bad parent. Really bad. So is Shirley Carter. In fact, so are quite a lot of people on tele. Maybe some are actually bad in real life.

I may not be an earth mother, or a hipster, or a mum-mum, but I’m certainly not a bad mum.  Perhaps, just perhaps, being just a mum may not be so bad after all.

And maybe, that could be my own label…. “Just Mum” and I could wear it with pride and go back to not giving a stuff how others are doing this thing.

Yep, that’s my best idea yet.

Now back to Eastenders.

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