Can Individual Approach in Daycare Relieve Separation Anxiety In kids

Tracey Clayton - 28 Mar 17

From the first seconds of their lives, kids are used to being physically close to their parents. Whether they are crying or laughing, they want to us to be their main cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on. This kind of special bond with your child is a natural relationship, especially when it comes to moms. Since babies and mommies are inextricably connected ever since the baby was sleeping in the mommy’s tummy, we’re irrationally scared for them so much that we feel bad and afraid even if we lose them out of sight for a couple of minutes. Therefore, daycare can be stressful to both a parent and a child, but here are some tips how you can approach this separation anxiety and make daycare as carefree as possible.

Fear of separation

As I said, fear from separation is normal. Some people claim that we shouldn’t pick up babies the moment they start crying, at least not every time. In my opinion, this is utter nonsense. There is not love in the world that’s like a parent’s love for their child, and we should cuddle them with the same affection no matter how old they are.

However, there is something we should pay attention to – separation anxiety. Not every child experiences it, but we can say that a majority of kids feel anxious when separating from their parents.

Separation anxiety is the feeling children experience when they are left on their own without their mom and dad for a period of time. Even very young babies can suffer from it. It’s usually expressed through the bouts of crying when they wake up and it’s not you who’s by their side, but a grandparent, an aunt, let alone an unknown person. Luckily, this can be easily surpassed since they get used to new people and new surroundings quickly.

Separation anxiety and daycare

A more serious issue occurs in daycare. Usually, on the first day you’ll stay as long as you can, and then when you head for the door, you’re both crying rivers. Now, the important step here is to resist the tears and leave the room promptly, instead of running back to your baby and picking them up to comfort them. Although both of you will feel good at the moment, it’s a very bad move in the long run.

Instead, try with the tried-and-true method. Let them take a blankie, a toy, a photo, or any other object they’re fond of. Bringing a familiar item with them might ease the transition period and make them feel safe in a new environment.

Also, if you’re wondering when it’s the right time to leave them there, it’s when you see that they have engaged in a conversation or a game with a group of other kids.

How to choose the right one

I’m speaking from my personal experience. You see, my kid had a severe separation anxiety when we first started going to the daycare. And I mean severe. Screaming, sobbing, grabbing, puppy eyes — the whole package. It was a very stressful period for all of us, but we were lucky with our choice of a daycare centre. We have chosen one of the best day care centres in Brisbane, and the best thing about them is that they focus on children as individuals. For them, the children aren’t a bunch of little people who just need a place to eat, take a nap, and play while their parents are at work, but they tend to each and every one of them with special care and attention so that all of them feel welcome and accepted. Our children spend time in the environment that appreciates and understands cultural diversity, and accepts every kid as a little unique person with their own feelings, thoughts, and preferences in terms of games, and everything else. The teachers work with them in a calm, supportive, and creative atmosphere where they can learn and play with no worries.

I believe that this is exactly the approach that helped my child relieve its separation anxiety, and the results were visible after only several days in the daycare centre. My baby was no longer that scared, crying child, but a happy one, who couldn’t wait for another day in the daycare.

Tracey Clayton

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