Can we please quit it with the gross-out games?!

Kate Chapman - 24 Sep 17

Is it just me, or are children’s games becoming cruder?

I’ve been fighting a losing battle for months, but the straw that broke the camel’s back came when my seven-year-old daughter presented me with her new school reading book.

She’d chosen it from the bookshelf herself – and I instantly knew what the attraction was. It wasn’t the colourful cover or the cartoon pictures contained within. No, it had the word ‘bottom’ in the title.

And that’s it. When you’re seven – or five like her little brother – words like ‘wee’, ‘poo’, ‘trump’ and ‘bottom’ are the funniest things in the world.

And the more your Mummy tells you not to say them, the more you become obsessed with them – much to her annoyance.

I know I’m not on my own waging war against the onslaught of toilet humour, constantly reminding them it is not pleasant, necessary or appropriate to talk and laugh about bodily functions at the dinner table or in polite company.

But I can see no end in sight, especially with Christmas on the horizon and numerous catalogues and adverts bombarding us with gift ideas.

My impressionable pair are lapping them up – in fact they’ve already made several lists, but rest assured Santa will certainly not be dropping any of the following down our chimney.

Doggy Doo, a game where you take a plastic sausage dog for a walk and ‘scoop its poop’. Or rather the brown plasticine lumps which emerge from its rear end. Err, how about Doggy Don’t?

Gooey Louie is billed as a fun-filled game of nose picking grossness. Basically unspeakables are plucked from the giant nose and pulling the wrong one results in a surprise. The only surprise for my two is they’re definitely not getting it.

And let’s not forget Gassy the Cow – Will she moo, or will she poo?  Another vile creation inviting children to walk their Wellington boots up to Gassy’s bottom to see if what she will do. Priced at almost £30, it’s another no thank you.

Search the shops and they are full of even more crudely named games – Snotcha, Toilet Trouble, Poopy Head and Gas Out are just a few I’ve had the misfortune to stumble across. I dread to think what they’re going to dream up next.

Now, I’m not a prude –honestly (!) – and I haven’t had a sense of humour bypass either. I’m just sick of constantly telling my children talking / shouting / singing about these things is inappropriate, only for them to see them as games and toys day in day out.

There’s simply no need to encourage it.

Please tell me I’m not on my own in this relentless battle? Whatever happened to good old fashioned wholesome fun?

So listen up toymakers – quit it with the gross out games, they’re really getting up my nose!

Image courtesy Mike-Willis flickr

Kate Chapman

Kate Chapman is a freelance journalist writing for a variety of national and regional newspapers and magazines. Her work has appeared in Woman's Weekly, Closer, Sunday Mirror, Sunday Express, Countryside, Lincolnshire Life and Farmers Weekly. Married to a Lincolnshire farmer, she is mum to Nancy (7) and Peter (6). Her hobbies include running, baking and chocolate (only does the first so she can have the second).

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