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View as: GRID LIST

Can We Stop “Karening” please?

1
Hi my name is Jess. Not Karen. But recently I’ve been called Karen. As a joke. If you’re a woman, and you’ve had the audacity to question something (anything), you too may have been called a “Karen” LOL *rolling eyebrow emoji*. Except…. Not LOL. I don’t think it’s funny anymore.

I had sent my phone to be repaired within warrantee and had an email telling me I had to pay £570 to have it fixed. I phoned the company to point out the warrantee status and the charges were dropped. “Did you go all “Karen” on the phone?!” Asked my

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2
friend. Um. No… I politely called and asked why I’d been charged £570. Case closed.

What started out as a funny meme is no longer funny to me.

The meme variation is as vast as the internet itself. From Kate Gosselin’s spiky hair on a cat demanding to speak to the manager to funnies about non mask wearing women raging about their rights being infringed.

But the intention is always the same. A woman who has decided to complain must be ridiculed. A woman who doesn’t want to stand for the way she’s being treated must be humiliated. A

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woman who thinks she has the right to speak up must be silenced.

A little scold’s bridle no? You know, that device that women were made to wear in the olden days if they dared to stand up for themselves or question authority (aka scold/nag/gossip)? Women who quite possibly were complaining about abuse, unfair conditions, unfair treatment. We were taught in school that this was a normal punishment for women. Like we were told how normal it was for “witches” to be burned alive at the stake. Like herbal teas, appreciating nature and loving animals

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was worth horrendous death. Because of course it meant you didn’t subscribe the patriarchy teachings of the bible. Women must not speak out of turn!

But Karen. The meme originated as a poke at white, middle American “soccer mom” types who complained about poor service from waiting staff, much to the no doubt horror of their children and husbands. I even shared memes about it to begin with.

But it’s got to a point where it just feels icky. Like me complaining about an outrageous charge rather than being quiet and putting up with it,

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doesn’t make me some sociopathic monster. It makes me someone with self-respect who thinks she deserves to be treated NORMALLY. It’s actually misogynistic to claim that women don’t have a right to question things they are uncomfortable with.

Like where do you draw the line? Not complaining when someone forgets your water in a restaurant. Fine. Wait staff are busy and harassed. Not complaining if the food they’ve bought you is wrong/under cooked/disgusting? Um…well YEAH! There! That’s the line. You ARE allowed to complain. You don’t have

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to be rude. You don’t have to be angry. You can just politely tell them the truth!

One of the other attributes railed against “Karen’s” is entitlement. But hang on a flipping minute. Why AREN’T women entitled? To respect, good service, fairness, nice food, not being over charged. They ARE entitled. That’s always seemed such an absurd slur to me. “You are not entitled woman, know your place”. I AM entitled, thanks!

Of course there are people in the world who are being called Karens who are NASTY. These are the women who are spouting

SelfishMother.com
7
about their civil liberties because the state is trying to keep them safe (masks/guns/vaccines) and then the more deadly version, the racists who call the cops on any person of colour going about their daily lives, who dared to share space with a white women.

“White women have weaponized their fear and discomfort in otherwise peaceful situations for centuries.”

But the internet likes to package people up into little boxes that fit lazy stereotypes. But two truths can simulatneosly exist. White women inciting harm on folks of colour is

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8
disgusting and wrong. But shaming any woman for wanted to be treated with respect is also wrong. Both statements are true.

Karen is a slur. A misogynistic slur. And I am over it. Please can we  just not?

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Scold's bridle

- 9 Sep 21

Hi my name is Jess. Not Karen. But recently I’ve been called Karen. As a joke. If you’re a woman, and you’ve had the audacity to question something (anything), you too may have been called a “Karen” LOL *rolling eyebrow emoji*. Except…. Not LOL. I don’t think it’s funny anymore.

I had sent my phone to be repaired within warrantee and had an email telling me I had to pay £570 to have it fixed. I phoned the company to point out the warrantee status and the charges were dropped. “Did you go all “Karen” on the phone?!” Asked my friend. Um. No… I politely called and asked why I’d been charged £570. Case closed.

What started out as a funny meme is no longer funny to me.

The meme variation is as vast as the internet itself. From Kate Gosselin’s spiky hair on a cat demanding to speak to the manager to funnies about non mask wearing women raging about their rights being infringed.

But the intention is always the same. A woman who has decided to complain must be ridiculed. A woman who doesn’t want to stand for the way she’s being treated must be humiliated. A woman who thinks she has the right to speak up must be silenced.

A little scold’s bridle no? You know, that device that women were made to wear in the olden days if they dared to stand up for themselves or question authority (aka scold/nag/gossip)? Women who quite possibly were complaining about abuse, unfair conditions, unfair treatment. We were taught in school that this was a normal punishment for women. Like we were told how normal it was for “witches” to be burned alive at the stake. Like herbal teas, appreciating nature and loving animals was worth horrendous death. Because of course it meant you didn’t subscribe the patriarchy teachings of the bible. Women must not speak out of turn!

But Karen. The meme originated as a poke at white, middle American “soccer mom” types who complained about poor service from waiting staff, much to the no doubt horror of their children and husbands. I even shared memes about it to begin with.

But it’s got to a point where it just feels icky. Like me complaining about an outrageous charge rather than being quiet and putting up with it, doesn’t make me some sociopathic monster. It makes me someone with self-respect who thinks she deserves to be treated NORMALLY. It’s actually misogynistic to claim that women don’t have a right to question things they are uncomfortable with.

Like where do you draw the line? Not complaining when someone forgets your water in a restaurant. Fine. Wait staff are busy and harassed. Not complaining if the food they’ve bought you is wrong/under cooked/disgusting? Um…well YEAH! There! That’s the line. You ARE allowed to complain. You don’t have to be rude. You don’t have to be angry. You can just politely tell them the truth!

One of the other attributes railed against “Karen’s” is entitlement. But hang on a flipping minute. Why AREN’T women entitled? To respect, good service, fairness, nice food, not being over charged. They ARE entitled. That’s always seemed such an absurd slur to me. “You are not entitled woman, know your place”. I AM entitled, thanks!

Of course there are people in the world who are being called Karens who are NASTY. These are the women who are spouting about their civil liberties because the state is trying to keep them safe (masks/guns/vaccines) and then the more deadly version, the racists who call the cops on any person of colour going about their daily lives, who dared to share space with a white women.

“White women have weaponized their fear and discomfort in otherwise peaceful situations for centuries.”

But the internet likes to package people up into little boxes that fit lazy stereotypes. But two truths can simulatneosly exist. White women inciting harm on folks of colour is disgusting and wrong. But shaming any woman for wanted to be treated with respect is also wrong. Both statements are true.

Karen is a slur. A misogynistic slur. And I am over it. Please can we  just not?

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Jess is a wine-addled, social media tart, feminist (does this need to be said?!) and chronic over sharer. She lives in Cardiff with her husband, children and some cats. Half heartedly trying to carve out a career by fancying herself as a bit of writer.

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