close
SM-Stamp-Join-1
  • Selfish Mother is the most brilliant blogging platform. Join here for free & you can post a blog within minutes. We don't edit or approve your words before they go live - it's up to you. And, with our cool new 'squares' design - you can share your blog to Instagram, too. What are you waiting for? Come join in! We can't wait to read what YOU have to say...

  • Your basic information

  • Your account information

View as: GRID LIST

Christmas Crazes

1

With Christmas just days away, be warned as your child grows so does the inordinate amount of extra clutter you accumulate on December 25th. Like the terraced houses In Coronation Street –  you need ever expanding walls to accommodate all the new recruits to your ever expanding toy family. And it’s worse when they’re younger – because the toys in their toddler years are big, brash, bulky and more often than that annoyingly noisy.

There’s always one Aunty who thinks it’s a good idea on Christmas Day for a two-year-old to have a musical

SelfishMother.com
2
instrument set (including drums and symbols), a keyboard and microphone or in the worst case scenario a karaoke machine, accompanied by the Frozen soundtrack, because why wouldn’t you want to listen to: ”Do you want to build a snowman,” three hundred times on Christmas Day alone?

And aside of the army of cuddly toys you have to find room for, you will in time move onto the doll and associated paraphernalia scenario. We are not just talking Baby Annabelle here you will also need to find room for her pushchair, pram, high chair, changing bag and

SelfishMother.com
3
clothes, in fact sometimes it feels like you might actually need to build another nursery for the amount of space this plastic baby takes up.

And as you fast-forward through the years – you’ll navigate your way through each space zapping fad until they hit about six when Christmas gifts become smaller in size but bigger in both budget and parental annoyance factor.

Take example number one – the Furby, example number two the Furby Boom and example number three the Furbling, all of which made it onto three consecutive Christmas lists, all equally

SelfishMother.com
4
parentally challenging and all only got played with until the New Year, in our house anyway.

The Furby is essentially a furry interactive robot with big eyes, that looks like a cross between an owl and a Mogwai (a la Gremlins fame). They have their very own language called Furbish, which can be translated into English by using the accompanying instructions or downloaded app and the more they get played with the more English they pick up. Oh and they also trump, a lot. Nice.

The piece de resistance though is that as they respond to whatever noise is

SelfishMother.com
5
going on around them, they don’t actually switch off, instead going into sleep mode which believe me can send you into a totally false sense of security. The long and short of it is, is that if you want it to be quiet, it has to have complete silence, which means you either have to remove the Furby from the main living area and put it somewhere quiet, or you have to remove your child, the TV or anything else that makes a noise anywhere near the vicinity of your child’s furry robot friend.

The only problem is, when you’ve removed it from the room

SelfishMother.com
6
and placed it somewhere quiet it does bring with it it’s own issues, take for example scenario A, the returning from the Boxing Day Next sale, pre-Breakfast time.

So because I’m one of those saddos who queues up at 4am to kit Maisie out in clothes for the next six months, I’m normally back in the house before 7am on Boxing Day – therefore upon my return I always do my best to avoid waking the entire house up. This involves turning the key quietly, not slamming the door, placing all purchased bags down quietly in the hall, with no extreme rustling,

SelfishMother.com
7
and not having the TV on loudly while I make a well deserved, I’ve survived the crazy Next sale at crazy o’clock, cuppa.

It does not however involve a furry imposter, with big, blue eyes, staring down from the kitchen shelf rocking in the process, burbling: ” U nhs loo lay doo.”  Neither does it involve you dropping your mug, shouting: ”Dad, Maisie, it’s Armageddon, there’s an alien in the kitchen, run for your lives but take the Next bags with you, I got up at 3.45am to get them.”

And then you remember the furry fucking creature in the

SelfishMother.com
8
kitchen, which made you jump out of your skin, was brought into the house by you, after a four-week internet hunt because they were sold out everywhere else. The palpitations you’re now suffering and the fact your very tired bed haired six-year-old who was clearly not ready to wake up is now standing next to you in the kitchen is actually all your own doing.

Screaming no I do not want to play Furby, you furry, furbish speaking, fucker is not going to help the situation either.

Come the New Year when the kids are back at school and the Furby is

SelfishMother.com
9
relegated to the toy box with all the previous Smyths purchased fads, you think you’re off the hook until the next festive season when the Furby Boom hits the shelves and goes straight to the top of the Christmas list.

This time it’s a slightly bigger, multiple coloured version of its predecessor which can hatch Furby eggs and can apparently talk and interact with other Furbys ( great, if you already have a Furby in the house from last Christmas). It can also dance, eat and talk using the specially created Furby app, so no you won’t get to see

SelfishMother.com
10
your iPad for the remainder of the Christmas period either.

But don’t worry the Furby Boom will also be relegated to the forgotten toys zone once the decorations are down, closely followed by the Furby Furbling (smaller, cheaper, and interacts with the Furby Boom) which has now been missing in action in our house since New Year’s Day 2015.

To read more posts like this please go to my blog: www.asinglemumsjournal.co.uk

SelfishMother.com

By

This blog was originally posted on SelfishMother.com - why not sign up & share what's on your mind, too?

Why not write for Selfish Mother, too? You can sign up for free and post immediately.


We regularly share posts on @SelfishMother Instagram and Facebook :)

Furby with black hair

- 17 Dec 15

With Christmas just days away, be warned as your child grows so does the inordinate amount of extra clutter you accumulate on December 25th. Like the terraced houses In Coronation Street –  you need ever expanding walls to accommodate all the new recruits to your ever expanding toy family. And it’s worse when they’re younger – because the toys in their toddler years are big, brash, bulky and more often than that annoyingly noisy.

There’s always one Aunty who thinks it’s a good idea on Christmas Day for a two-year-old to have a musical instrument set (including drums and symbols), a keyboard and microphone or in the worst case scenario a karaoke machine, accompanied by the Frozen soundtrack, because why wouldn’t you want to listen to: “Do you want to build a snowman,” three hundred times on Christmas Day alone?

And aside of the army of cuddly toys you have to find room for, you will in time move onto the doll and associated paraphernalia scenario. We are not just talking Baby Annabelle here you will also need to find room for her pushchair, pram, high chair, changing bag and clothes, in fact sometimes it feels like you might actually need to build another nursery for the amount of space this plastic baby takes up.

And as you fast-forward through the years – you’ll navigate your way through each space zapping fad until they hit about six when Christmas gifts become smaller in size but bigger in both budget and parental annoyance factor.

Take example number one – the Furby, example number two the Furby Boom and example number three the Furbling, all of which made it onto three consecutive Christmas lists, all equally parentally challenging and all only got played with until the New Year, in our house anyway.

The Furby is essentially a furry interactive robot with big eyes, that looks like a cross between an owl and a Mogwai (a la Gremlins fame). They have their very own language called Furbish, which can be translated into English by using the accompanying instructions or downloaded app and the more they get played with the more English they pick up. Oh and they also trump, a lot. Nice.

The piece de resistance though is that as they respond to whatever noise is going on around them, they don’t actually switch off, instead going into sleep mode which believe me can send you into a totally false sense of security. The long and short of it is, is that if you want it to be quiet, it has to have complete silence, which means you either have to remove the Furby from the main living area and put it somewhere quiet, or you have to remove your child, the TV or anything else that makes a noise anywhere near the vicinity of your child’s furry robot friend.

The only problem is, when you’ve removed it from the room and placed it somewhere quiet it does bring with it it’s own issues, take for example scenario A, the returning from the Boxing Day Next sale, pre-Breakfast time.

So because I’m one of those saddos who queues up at 4am to kit Maisie out in clothes for the next six months, I’m normally back in the house before 7am on Boxing Day – therefore upon my return I always do my best to avoid waking the entire house up. This involves turning the key quietly, not slamming the door, placing all purchased bags down quietly in the hall, with no extreme rustling, and not having the TV on loudly while I make a well deserved, I’ve survived the crazy Next sale at crazy o’clock, cuppa.

It does not however involve a furry imposter, with big, blue eyes, staring down from the kitchen shelf rocking in the process, burbling: ” U nhs loo lay doo.”  Neither does it involve you dropping your mug, shouting: “Dad, Maisie, it’s Armageddon, there’s an alien in the kitchen, run for your lives but take the Next bags with you, I got up at 3.45am to get them.”

And then you remember the furry fucking creature in the kitchen, which made you jump out of your skin, was brought into the house by you, after a four-week internet hunt because they were sold out everywhere else. The palpitations you’re now suffering and the fact your very tired bed haired six-year-old who was clearly not ready to wake up is now standing next to you in the kitchen is actually all your own doing.

Screaming no I do not want to play Furby, you furry, furbish speaking, fucker is not going to help the situation either.

Come the New Year when the kids are back at school and the Furby is relegated to the toy box with all the previous Smyths purchased fads, you think you’re off the hook until the next festive season when the Furby Boom hits the shelves and goes straight to the top of the Christmas list.

This time it’s a slightly bigger, multiple coloured version of its predecessor which can hatch Furby eggs and can apparently talk and interact with other Furbys ( great, if you already have a Furby in the house from last Christmas). It can also dance, eat and talk using the specially created Furby app, so no you won’t get to see your iPad for the remainder of the Christmas period either.

But don’t worry the Furby Boom will also be relegated to the forgotten toys zone once the decorations are down, closely followed by the Furby Furbling (smaller, cheaper, and interacts with the Furby Boom) which has now been missing in action in our house since New Year’s Day 2015.

To read more posts like this please go to my blog: www.asinglemumsjournal.co.uk

Did you enjoy this post? If so please support the writer: like, share and comment!


Why not join the SM CLUB, too? You can share posts & events immediately. It's free!

Tamsin is a 40-year-old bleached teethed, bleached hair, tattooed eye-browed single Mum of one who still wishes she was 25. A journalist and PR specialist Tamsin loves family, friends, football and fashion in that order. Her raison d'etre is nine-year-old Maisie Mae.

Post Tags


Keep up to date with Selfish Mother — Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on social media