Christmas Isn’t About ALL Family

Corporate to Kids - 17 Dec 18

Christmas is coming and with it we are constantly reminded about goodwill and the importance of spending it with family. Yes, and yes. But what if you don’t have a wonderful (or even a workable) relationship with your extended family? How long do you have to grin and fake it before it’s time just to admit that it’s not worth it?

It can be awkward

A 2015 international survey reported that 84% of families planned to be together that Christmas, yet two-thirds were predicting an argument with relatives. Exactly my point. I’m not going to get into detail about specific circumstances, but let’s just say that there have been rather a lot of sibling issues in my husband and I’s families. It’s been stressful, hurtful and often sad. Yet we’ve tried to make it work, we’ve tried to play ball and please everyone, but it’s not done us any good. Frankly, it’s exhausting.

Christmas Day our way

Maybe it sounds selfish, but for the first Christmas since I met my husband, we are doing what WE want to do. Last year it was predicted that 1.3 million motorists hit the road around Christmas and this year I don’t want me, the husband and our children to be stuck bumper to bumper on the M25 with other stressed Christmas commuters.
A few years ago when my boys were babies, the traffic on Christmas Day was so substantial that we were late for lunch at the in-laws and red-faced and grumpy before we even arrived. I want to be free of tiptoeing around in case someone isn’t speaking to us. Most of all, I want to give up trying to please everyone.

What about friends?

So, this year we have decided, like total festive rebels, to spend Christmas Day with our friends and I cannot wait. They are local to us and they have boys the same age as ours. I don’t care that we are shaking up traditions, because we’re making our own new family traditions. Now that the guilt around the decision has eased, I know it’s the right choice for all four of us.

A leisurely pace

We are going to get up when we wake up, although it’s likely to be about 5 am when the boys snuffle around for the crinkly, stuffed Santa sacks at the end of their beds. We will slop in our pyjamas for ages, eat breakfast late and just see how the morning takes us. I predict a frenzy of wrapping paper, the disappointment that they didn’t get everything they asked for and cracking open the chocolate variety pack about 6 am. And that’s just my husband.

Family around Christmas

We will see both sets of parents around Christmas, but not on the actual day. Of course, we want to see them and spend time with them and it’s important for our children to see their grandparents at Christmas. But, for us, as long as it is around Christmas, it doesn’t have to be the actual day.

I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching but remember this is your Christmas too. I’m not saying go out of your way to upset your extended family, but when you have children traditions change. It might just be time to take a stand and make your own traditions with the people who mean the most.

Corporate to Kids

Who: Sarah - Queen of self-deprecation Job: from corporate HR career to Mum, Writer and Blogger Children: two boys with a 13 month age gap!! Obsessions: writing, Haribos, rainbows, coffee, fizz

View profile for posts, events and more info