Countdown to TTC: Anyone know the way to the night garden?

Being_That_Mum - 12 Nov 15

I can vividly remember each and every visitor we had following the birth of our first – I loved every single one! Seeing your friends and family after such a momentous experience and sharing the love for our new addition was amazing, but there was one question that seemed to be on most visitor’s lips…

“So when will you be having another?…”

😮😳😯😫😬😑 seriously…I can still internally hear the screams pushing this child out and you’re asking me when I’m going to start trying for another?!

Well the question never goes away, it just intensifies into the realms of rudeness…why do people feel it’s their right to know exactly when you plan to expand your family? Fair enough an interest in your life but some people I’m sure, would buy tickets to the possible days of conception!! This is all well and good if you choose to delay having another child, but if there is no element of choice involved and it’s purely not happening for you then I’m sure that questioning can be like nails down a chalkboard crossed with hearing your parents having sex.

Well here’s my truth: it has taken 20 months for me to feel brave enough to even consider adding another baby to our family for no reason other than sometimes living with a toddler is hard!!

The picture at the top of the post illustrates my feelings – if I could go for a drink with Makka Pakka and George Pig I would, some days these fictional characters are the lifeline in my day (and I work full-time). If that’s now, how would we cope with 2? I can hear people thinking ‘bad mum – she doesn’t cherish the time with her child, she just sticks him in front of the tv.’ I can assure you that is false, but sometimes you need 30 minutes to prepare and cook dinner; or sometimes your toddler will come home from nursery in such a foul mood that even looking at them can provoke the mother of all tantrums, and no amount of kindness or offering them things they want will be right.

We’ve had a particular lot of issues with bath and bed time recently, the process of getting dressed resembles Olympic wrestling some nights (fair enough if he’s collecting Olympic medals for it in 17 years time, if not he’s not realised his potential) putting clothes on and off has been part of the routine from an hour after birth…the only thing that has changed is my toddler is now developing a will and desperation to assert his feelings on everything and anything which can cause despair sometimes when even the simple tasks seem mammoth.

Since realising this I have a new approach to the over eager conception spotters – let them see my son in full tantrum mode or relay horror stories of his behaviour they soon get the picture!

I still don’t know how to cope with 2…when it does eventually happen I’m hoping my hindsight and wisdom will help overcome all this initial fear. I know it’ll be hard, I know I’ll have even less time with more to do but mentally I am somewhere I wasn’t previously….some days a toddler is hard work, but most of the time he’s lovely to be around and the thought of having another, giving him a sibling and little buddy will be all the answers I need!

I would quite like to go to the Night Garden sometime though…the place looks amazing! 😉

Being_That_Mum

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