Dear Nursery Teacher, an open letter.

Dani Bongiovanni - 8 Feb 16

Dear Nursery Teacher,

Every morning as we walk through the school gates I see you. I see you and Teaching Assistant through the window, you are arranging toys and hanging pictures, she is making dough, a papier-mâché caterpillar, snowflake hat preparations so my son can indulge in all manner of fun during the day. Every morning I wonder if you know how much of a difference you both have made to my son’s life, to all of our lives. I wonder if you know truly how much we appreciate you.

When I first met you, I fear I was a little like a startled deer in headlights. A little jumpy, a little abrupt and a lot concerned as you came in and turned things on their heads. I felt you a little more fierce than those who had gone before. How alien this all seems now looking back and these things that once caused me concern now only cause me security and contentment.

Each morning I watch my son and now his little brother go through a morning routine that makes sense and has given him structure. I stand in the corridor allowing him to complete his tasks independently with quiet confidence in the same order. My little boy, who at home I still do just about everything for, is at school growing into a little grown up. Thank you for trusting him with responsibility and believing in his abilities even though he is small. His little brother is only one but he too knows the system and acts it out alongside his brother. It is one of my favourite parts of the day watching my son teach and praise his younger brother no doubt in a fashion learnt from you. Thank you for giving him the security to learn through trying.

The classroom is a place of calm wonderment. I will never forget the first morning I walked in after you transformed it from a classroom to an environment. The coloured fabric hanging in the window, the cushions for comfy stories, the music, the sensory play stations. Thank you for creating this environment they love. A gorgeous place that feels welcoming and happy in its air. The walls covered with photographs and artwork, telling the stories of each day. But also for the files, the organisation that shows me everything is accounted for, each child is observed and nurtured and each tiny victory and learning journey is documented. Thank you for giving me the confidence that you have it all under control, to know that when I leave him he is safe. That he matters.

Thank you both for being such a formidable team. You have the same passion for my son’s learning and the same spirit to create an amazing environment. Thank you for being there each and every day for my son. Thank you Teaching Assistant for being responsible for him outside term time when the other classrooms are empty and the playground is quiet. I’m not even sure he notices because you create a world for him that is still engaging. You are so gentle and kind to him whilst engaging him in so many fun activities and adventures. Thank you for your soft voice, your open manner and your encouragement. Thank you both for having earned his trust and confidence.

On those mornings when the only way I could get him to school was in his pyjamas, thank you for not making me feel judged or condemned. Thank you for being firm enough with me to get me to leave and at the same time kind enough to my son that he let you do the things to help him that I could not. You wouldn’t know that I looked back through the window as I left at speed, you wouldn’t know that I could see you hugging him so tightly I knew it wasn’t the hug of a teacher but the hug of a mother comforting a child in her care. I believe you have to be made of different stuff to work with nursery children. They need a teacher, a figure of authority but they also need someone to make them feel secure in the absence of their parent, while they find their grounding in the big old world. They need a friend too, someone they can talk to and seek comfort from. Thank you for being all these things in the perfect amounts.

Thank you for knowing my son. For taking the time to understand his personality. Every time I talk to you about him it is abundantly clear that you have him all figured out. You know each of those small humans in such depth and with such care it astounds me. You truly are their fierce leader and woe betide anyone who tries to jeopardise their confidence or their security. I have seen you simultaneously discipline older children at school with a boom and curt tongue to be feared and scoop up a very distressed child onto your knee and keep him there until he felt OK to be part of the world again. That fierceness I felt the first time I met you is what makes you an amazing teacher. It shows a depth, a passion that goes beyond your role as a job description on paper. You are strong.
I know you have found the mother/teacher dynamic confusing and difficult. I remember thinking how you looked a little uncomfortable at my sons birthday party at the very start of the school year. I know you have been backwards and forwards in your head whether to come on social get togethers and be part of social media groups. This only shows me how seriously you take your job and your responsibility to both our children and us. Thank you for being human. Thank you for being one of us. You are a Mummy just like us, your child is part of a very small circle of children with a close bond. When I see you in school you are my son’s teacher and you command the authority and the respect that comes with that. Away from those school gates all I see is a Mummy, a friend. I see you, not your job title. You are supportive and kind and a down right good laugh. You have fears, you make mistakes, you giggle and you chat just like the rest of us. Thank you for having enough trust in me as a parent and as a fellow mummy and friend to show both sides of you with such respect for your role. Thank you too for being so open to discussion, for listening to opinion and concern with neutral ears when it comes to new ideas for school. Thank you for being an open channel of communication.

So Nursery Teacher, thank you. A million times thank you for all that you do for my son, for making his everyday fun. For having such an amazing imagination and approach to learning. Thank you for being his champion and his cheerleader. Thank you for pushing the boundaries and shaking things up for the better. Thank you for forest school and baking and playground rivers and the rainbow, the sad cloud, visits from dentists and puppies. Thank you for the communication book, the photographs, the workshops and involvement in my son’s learning and growing.

Thank you for being my son’s first teacher. He will never forget you. I will never forget you.

Dani Bongiovanni

View profile for posts, events and more info