Dear school, please stop oversharing…

Molly Gunn - 2 Dec 15

I’ll start with the caveat, in case you’re in any doubt: I am hugely grateful my son is in a brilliant school and I care massively about his education. He is in a forward-thinking local primary school, which is Outstanding in many ways, far beyond the Ofsted report.

BUT, and here comes the BUT…

The school is stalking me.
The school is oversharing.

The sheer amount of comms from my son’s school is bamboozaling me. A quick straw poll of friends reveals I am not the only one. Schools everywhere, it seems, are over-communicating with parents.

Ping, ping, ping. That is the sound of my phone with texts from school. Every day I receive between 1 and 3 texts, which I consider non-urgent. That is more texts than ANYONE ELSE sends me. When I see a new text appear on my phone my heart lifts thinking a friend is getting in contact, and then it drops again when I see it is the school. AGAIN.

A random few I’ve received recently: 
i) Please bring in bottles so Year 4 can decorate the hall
ii) We have a date for Flag making Family Day!
iii) Today the Meat dish is chicken not turkey.
iv) Reminder for RSVPs of the wine tasting evening, it is 8pm (not 7pm) tonight.

To which I want to reply.
i) My son isn’t in year 4.
ii) I don’t know what Flag Day is!!!!
iii) Who cares? He is having a packed lunch today.
iv) Leave me alone. I am not going to the wine tasting evening!

In short: WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME THIS?

EXCEPT, I can’t reply; because it’s one of those automatic text things which doesn’t let you reply. (Yes I have tried and it just bounced back).

Like many other parents, I’m busy during those treasured school hours. I use this time to y’know… work! And sort my life out!

I find looking after kids, work, house and life a balancing act as it is – throwing school comms into the mix is FRYING MY BRAIN! 

There are so many different forms of communication, which are used for different things that I am truly finding it hard to keep up. Because, it’s not just the relentless random texts… it’s all the emails and good old-fashioned letters, too. And there is a Facebook page.

The sheer quantity means it is hard so sift out what is actually important and I end up missing things that I think might count. Especially as there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to what is sent by which method.

And I only have one child in school! (I bet some of you have 2 or more in school – how do YOU keep up with this?)

Of course, the letters I don’t mind as much as I can go through them in one go, and if the school has decided to lavish on expensive paper print outs, then it is must be deemed important. Homework, school fairs, trips, dressing up days; of course, I want to pay attention to these. But, I guess I’m saying this is all I have time for at the moment. This is enough in itself.

Because… and here comes the shocker: I am happy my son is being looked after at school, I am happy I do not have to think about his childcare until I pick him up. I am even happy that when I ask him questions about the day, he gives me random answers that don’t make sense so I rarely get a real idea of what went on. I don’t need to know EVERYTHING.

And, on that note, don’t get me started on Tapestry and other sites which mean I can see pictures updates about my children while at school or nursery. I know it’s all very well meaning, BUT seriously, please can I just get on with stuff in the day time and see my real-life kids in the flesh when they get home?

Rant over. Ping! Yes you guessed it, another text popped up,

Molly Gunn

Molly Gunn is the Curator of Goodness at Selfish Mother, a site she created for likeminded women in 2013. Molly has been a journalist for over 15 years, starting out on fashion desks at The Guardian, The Telegraph & ES Magazine before going freelance in 2006 to write for publications including Red, Stella, Grazia, Net-A-Porter and ELLE. She now edits Selfish Mother and creates #GoodTees which are sold via TheFMLYStore.com and John Lewis and have so far raised £650K for charity. Molly is mother to Rafferty, 5, Fox, 3 and baby Liberty. Molly is married to Tom, aka music producer Tee Mango and founder of Millionhands. They live, work and play in Somerset.

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