Do you want to be my friend?
1
We all remember the stress of friendships at school: the competition, the different groups, the need to be ’cool’. I was not cool at school. That’s not to say I was unpopular, I had a great group of friends and we sat comfortably in the middle between the ’cool’ kids and those who unfortunately had ’victim’ metaphorically stamped across their heads. These are friends I have stuck with for almost 20 years! Returning to that ’friend making’ stage is not something I have any desire to do. However, as a new mum, I find myself back thrown back in at
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the deep end and it’s as scary as it was when I was 11!
You see, new motherhood changes your social dynamic. It’s not that your old friends aren’t there anymore but they are working 9-5: they can’t be there all the time! The change from full time job (I worked till 37 weeks and only stopped then due to the school holidays!) to full time mummy is huge and quite lonely. As friends with older children tell me, you have to find your mummy tribe! But where? Who? How? The very thought brings me out in a cold sweat.
You’d think I’d be good at it!
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3
My whole career revolves around putting myself out there; standing in front of people, embarrassing myself and making ridiculous conversations – surely meeting other mums should be easy?! Alas no! In my job I am in control: I lead the classroom (like me or not, the kids have no choice!), parents come to see me, as management, the staff come to me with everything! I know what to expect. But meeting mummies? Now that is scary! I am about to walk naked (metaphorically again!) into the lion’s den, I feel like I am back at school hoping that someone will
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think I’m cool and I won’t be left on my own. One thing is for sure, I need these women! Without mummy friends I do think the next 8 months will be very difficult and the support you get from people in your situation is invaluble. So I have to face my fears and go for it!
So, just that one question remains?!
Do you want to be my friend?!
SelfishMother.com
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Amberreto86 - 31 May 16
We all remember the stress of friendships at school: the competition, the different groups, the need to be ‘cool’. I was not cool at school. That’s not to say I was unpopular, I had a great group of friends and we sat comfortably in the middle between the ‘cool’ kids and those who unfortunately had ‘victim’ metaphorically stamped across their heads. These are friends I have stuck with for almost 20 years! Returning to that ‘friend making’ stage is not something I have any desire to do. However, as a new mum, I find myself back thrown back in at the deep end and it’s as scary as it was when I was 11!
You see, new motherhood changes your social dynamic. It’s not that your old friends aren’t there anymore but they are working 9-5: they can’t be there all the time! The change from full time job (I worked till 37 weeks and only stopped then due to the school holidays!) to full time mummy is huge and quite lonely. As friends with older children tell me, you have to find your mummy tribe! But where? Who? How? The very thought brings me out in a cold sweat.
You’d think I’d be good at it! My whole career revolves around putting myself out there; standing in front of people, embarrassing myself and making ridiculous conversations – surely meeting other mums should be easy?! Alas no! In my job I am in control: I lead the classroom (like me or not, the kids have no choice!), parents come to see me, as management, the staff come to me with everything! I know what to expect. But meeting mummies? Now that is scary! I am about to walk naked (metaphorically again!) into the lion’s den, I feel like I am back at school hoping that someone will think I’m cool and I won’t be left on my own. One thing is for sure, I need these women! Without mummy friends I do think the next 8 months will be very difficult and the support you get from people in your situation is invaluble. So I have to face my fears and go for it!
So, just that one question remains?!
Do you want to be my friend?!
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New mum, teacher and lover of all things books and tea related. Currently trying to navigate the new world of babies and maternity leave!
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