Dressing a Sensitive Child

Mumforce - 23 Feb 19

If you follow me on Instagram and follow my stories, you will know the constant battles I have had with my daughter and dressing her in the morning.

I have bought item after item of clothes that were deemed “too tight”, “too itchy” and “not right”, clothes bought but never worn, so frustrating!

I was angry; I was frustrated and even found myself with tears down my face most mornings as another piece of clothing was pulled apart, never to be worn by my daughter.

At around 2 years old, Cora decided that jeans were too tight. She would squirm, pull at them and cry until I admitted defeat and she could take them off. I ended up selling 14 pairs of jeans, all different styles I had bought to try and please my little angel, all were dismissed by her.

Then it was tights, they were too “tight”. The pretty dresses and tights were stripped off as soon as I turned my back in place for her wash worn, oversized cotton smocks.

We live in Scotland and if you are aware the weather here is unpredictable and also bloody cold, even in the summers but she was happy in her little cotton dresses for the few weeks the sun did shine but then it started to get colder. We needed to cover her legs, she had to wear a coat…socks…jumpers…hats…you get the idea. It started to happen again. The constant complain that the clothes were not right, we cut tags out of clothes, washed them in vinegar, let her pick the clothes in the shop but it was something new each day. I was pulling my hair out.

I started to look at her behaviour, this was not “normal”. The more I thought about it, I realise that I do this.

I don’t wear the dress size that I am, I am a ten but often I wear 12’s or even 14s. This isn’t because of different sizing, it’s because I too don’t like the tight feeling of clothes against my skin, I go for leggings and dresses. I also take my shoes and socks off as soon as I get in, even if my feet are like ice I would rather that than wear socks or slippers around the house. Cora also does this.

Oh no, I thought! I have passed these ticks to my daughter, I knew she was always sensitive and I believe I have been very good at supporting her with that but had never thought that these morning meltdowns could have been part of it. I was going to have to support her with this.

This issue can be related to SPD sensory processing disorder, SPD is a neurophysiologic condition in which sensory input either from the environment or from one’s body is poorly detected, modulated, or interpreted and/or to which atypical responses are observed. I am not saying this is what Cora has, not formally anyway but I believe what I have learned from looking at the processes to ease the anxieties I could aid Cora with her dressing.

What I had to remember was that Cora wasn’t trying to be difficult when she was refusing to wear most clothes, she didn’t want the scratching of the tags on her skin, her skin was as sensitive as mine to the clothes. I needed to stop fighting with her and find the right clothes for her. This was going to difficult.

I had to give up on fashion, trendy, stylish clothing, she wasn’t having any of that. Those clothes were full of all the things she hated, studs, ruffles, cuffs, buttons and elasticised waists. I had to give up on the idea of creating a mini style icon, she needed comfort and to be happy.

I know these issues won’t go away, she may out grow some but if she is anything like me she won’t. The best thing I have done, is educate myself on these issues so I could adapt for Cora, I didn’t want to fight with her any more. I could see the distress that wearing these clothes brought her and it was heartbreaking for me.

Mumforce

Gail aka Mumforce, is a Scottish lifestyle / parenting blogger and a mum of two, based in Edinburgh. After giving birth to 2 little darlings Gail focussed some attention towards rediscovering/discovering herself. Being a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother can take a lot out of the best of us. Whilst in amongst/ dealing with all the unpredictability’s in life it’s an easy thing to go into pilot mode/ forget to catch your breath and although bringing up another human being is arguably one of the most difficult challenges a human can be blessed with – “it can often be the case the we want more in respect to purpose, something that is just me”. Gail is open about her mental health and hopes that through writing, honestly about her experiences she can allow others to open up and no longer feel alone. As well as talking/writing about her struggles with mental health, Gail blogs about daily life, women’s rights and issues that some are afraid to address. Throw in a few family outing reviews, product reviews and mum fashion and we have a very mixed bag which truly represents the addictive randomness that is Mumforce. ​To begin with Gail found writing as a form of therapy and a hobby however through her literacy journey Gail’s lifelong pursuit of seeking acceptance has been redefined – “ I finally understood that it was self acceptance that was being sought and have since embraced every ounce of human emotion and solidified its presence through my words”. A unique character who we can all relate to who gives a fantastic reflection of the main battle we have in life, “the person staring back at me in the mirror”.

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