‘Embrace’ A Body Image Story
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I watched Embrace the other night, a documentary that explores women’s (negative) relationships with their bodies. It follows Taryn Brumfitt’s battle with her own body image and her 9 week trip around the globe to discuss why women spend so much of their lives hating the skin they are in. So far, so unremarkable but let me tell you, this is no ordinary film or documentary, it is a wake up call for us to stop hating ourselves and get on with life!
I have been at war with my body my entire life and Embrace stirred up a lot of thoughts and emotions
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in me and in the other 100 or so women in the cinema. I felt compelled to write about it because I want us to change things for ourselves and for future generations of women. I cried. I cried for the child I was, the woman I am. I cried for my friends and for my daughters. There were a few laughs at the banality of it all too. The documentary explores negative body image and our obsessive quest to achieve the ’perfect’ body – a body that doesn’t exist, a body created with photoshop and airbrushing techniques. We know this yet the avalanche of images
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that perpetuate the myth keep coming. We know the ’ideal’ we see in the media is completely fake but we insist on measuring ourselves against it at the expense of our happiness and self-esteem.
”at age four I became the fat girl, a lesser human being”
My own relationship with my body is complicated in the way that it is for most women. It didn’t start out too well for me. I was labelled ’fat’ by a couple of boys at age four -I wasn’t – and that label has been glowing brightly like a neon light above my head ever since. I can remember
SelfishMother.com
4
feeling sad and worthless and that was it, I became the fat girl in my class, a lesser human being. A few years later puberty would hit me like a steam train and I did put on a lot of weight which made my label hold true. At age 12 I was sent to a doctor who put me on a diet, to my surprise and utter delight the diet worked!
That summer I bought a bikini, I was ecstatic but then I had appendicitis that September and the surgeon kindly pointed out that the scar was bigger than it should have been because I had ’fat on my belly’ – I didn’t –
SelfishMother.com
5
certainly not fat that was unusual for a growing 12 year old girl. The euphoric feeling of achieving my goals was quickly replaced by feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem because the mountain I had just climbed was suddenly a lot higher and the summit impossible to reach.
Years of anxiety around food, weight and negative body image followed. I stepped on and off the fad diet rollercoaster and I flirted with an eating disorder for many years. Somewhere along the line I got married to a wonderful man who loves me whatever and I had three kids which
SelfishMother.com
6
ironically made me like my body a lot more. I started running and liked it, the fat girl ran a handful of half marathons but the nagging thought that I could bet better and look better is always there.
”inhabiting your own body shouldn’t be a negative experience”
Today I’m generally ok with my weight and the way I look but I spend time every day wishing I was thinner – the thoughts just flutter around in my head at regular intervals – I don’t pay much attention to them but they are definitely there. I’m self-conscious about my teeth and about
SelfishMother.com
7
my skin which isn’t as smooth as I would like and my weight. I worry about the food I eat, I have very little restraint and I give myself a hard time every time I drink a glass of wine or eat chocolate which I like to do most days. I’m so used to the voices in my head telling me what a shit human being I am because I ate too much or didn’t exercise enough that I almost don’t notice them.
”we must stop wasting time, energy and talent on the quest for a thigh gap”
Correctly if I’m wrong but this isn’t ok, is it? We bumble along through life
SelfishMother.com
8
thinking that ’s ok or that’s just the way it is but it really isn’t!! We should aim to be healthy of course but the self-loathing and body shaming has to stop, it’s holding us back ladies. You must watch Embrace and you must keep the conversation going, nothing is going to change over night but we have to keep plugging away in order to bring real change. Let’s do it for us, for all of us.
Antonia x
http://tinkertailor.online
For information on UK screenings of Embrace click here
You can organise and host your own screening
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Antonia Sanchez-Toomey - 9 Feb 17
I watched Embrace the other night, a documentary that explores women’s (negative) relationships with their bodies. It follows Taryn Brumfitt’s battle with her own body image and her 9 week trip around the globe to discuss why women spend so much of their lives hating the skin they are in. So far, so unremarkable but let me tell you, this is no ordinary film or documentary, it is a wake up call for us to stop hating ourselves and get on with life!
I have been at war with my body my entire life and Embrace stirred up a lot of thoughts and emotions in me and in the other 100 or so women in the cinema. I felt compelled to write about it because I want us to change things for ourselves and for future generations of women. I cried. I cried for the child I was, the woman I am. I cried for my friends and for my daughters. There were a few laughs at the banality of it all too. The documentary explores negative body image and our obsessive quest to achieve the ‘perfect’ body – a body that doesn’t exist, a body created with photoshop and airbrushing techniques. We know this yet the avalanche of images that perpetuate the myth keep coming. We know the ‘ideal’ we see in the media is completely fake but we insist on measuring ourselves against it at the expense of our happiness and self-esteem.
“at age four I became the fat girl, a lesser human being”
My own relationship with my body is complicated in the way that it is for most women. It didn’t start out too well for me. I was labelled ‘fat’ by a couple of boys at age four -I wasn’t – and that label has been glowing brightly like a neon light above my head ever since. I can remember feeling sad and worthless and that was it, I became the fat girl in my class, a lesser human being. A few years later puberty would hit me like a steam train and I did put on a lot of weight which made my label hold true. At age 12 I was sent to a doctor who put me on a diet, to my surprise and utter delight the diet worked!
That summer I bought a bikini, I was ecstatic but then I had appendicitis that September and the surgeon kindly pointed out that the scar was bigger than it should have been because I had ‘fat on my belly’ – I didn’t – certainly not fat that was unusual for a growing 12 year old girl. The euphoric feeling of achieving my goals was quickly replaced by feelings of anxiety and low self-esteem because the mountain I had just climbed was suddenly a lot higher and the summit impossible to reach.
Years of anxiety around food, weight and negative body image followed. I stepped on and off the fad diet rollercoaster and I flirted with an eating disorder for many years. Somewhere along the line I got married to a wonderful man who loves me whatever and I had three kids which ironically made me like my body a lot more. I started running and liked it, the fat girl ran a handful of half marathons but the nagging thought that I could bet better and look better is always there.
“inhabiting your own body shouldn’t be a negative experience”
Today I’m generally ok with my weight and the way I look but I spend time every day wishing I was thinner – the thoughts just flutter around in my head at regular intervals – I don’t pay much attention to them but they are definitely there. I’m self-conscious about my teeth and about my skin which isn’t as smooth as I would like and my weight. I worry about the food I eat, I have very little restraint and I give myself a hard time every time I drink a glass of wine or eat chocolate which I like to do most days. I’m so used to the voices in my head telling me what a shit human being I am because I ate too much or didn’t exercise enough that I almost don’t notice them.
“we must stop wasting time, energy and talent on the quest for a thigh gap”
Correctly if I’m wrong but this isn’t ok, is it? We bumble along through life thinking that ‘s ok or that’s just the way it is but it really isn’t!! We should aim to be healthy of course but the self-loathing and body shaming has to stop, it’s holding us back ladies. You must watch Embrace and you must keep the conversation going, nothing is going to change over night but we have to keep plugging away in order to bring real change. Let’s do it for us, for all of us.
Antonia x
http://tinkertailor.online
For information on UK screenings of Embrace click here
You can organise and host your own screening here
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Hi! I'm Antonia and I have three lovely daughters aged 9,10 and 12 - I'm quietly bracing myself for their teenage years at the moment. I am a former pre-school teacher and I now spend my time writing my lifestyle blog and hustling for a living. I love a Breton stripe, a cup of tea and chat, I might just be partial to the odd alcoholic beverage too!
I honestly could not have survived the early years of motherhood without the support of my friends who could turn my tears into laughter and were always willing to listen, moan with me and have the odd drink in order to get us through those wonderful but at times, dark days. Check in on my blog if you want to hear more from me at http://tinkertailor.online where I talk style, beauty, interiors and wellbeing. I also like to hang around on Instagram @tinkertailoronline
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