Every mother is a ‘supermum’

Site Default - 3 Nov 16

So the title ‘supermom’/’supermum’ can actually be found in a dictionary:

‘A woman who performs the traditional duties of housekeeping and child-rearing while also having a full-time job.’

This makes me cross for two reasons. Firstly, why do you need to be a working mother to earn the ‘super’ title? Secondly, surely all mothers – both working and stay-at-home – can boast super-powers. In fact, let’s face it – every mother on the planet is ‘super’ in their own right. So why does society insist on labelling us the whole time? (I am a ‘stay-at-home’ mum, whatever that really means.) And why do we have to praise the mums who work and fail to mention the ones who don’t, but who are in fact slaving away at home and putting their all into other areas of their life? Seriously, when will this ‘super’ obsession end?

Whilst looking out for the latest wonder-mother I came across ‘4am Superwoman’. You know, she’s the kind of woman who is a size 8, runs a super-successful business and has an idyllic life with maybe four children thrown effortlessly into the mix. She is perfection personified. She is the kind of woman who us average mortals should want to emulate. Oh, and if you want to be just like her, you will have to set your alarm for 4am. Yes, 4am.

Now, for me, this getting-up-with-the-larks business and making the most of the ‘magic hours’ makes no sense. Because lie-in time for parents is surely the most sacred thing of all? As a mother of two young boys, sleep is the one thing that keeps me going – and the more of it the better. If my children don’t wake until 7am, I won’t emerge from under my duvet until I’m forced out by a bright torch shining in my eyes and ‘Wake up, Mummy!’ belting through my ears. I am going to enjoy every second.

Get up at 4am and go to bed early? Forget it. I’d rather just carry on and be normal, average, run-of-the-mill me if that’s okay. Can’t we all just stop idolising the super-duper, one-in-a-million women who seemingly ‘have it all’ and start recognising and praising what’s ‘super’ about all mothers, no matter how mundane?

So here’s a list of what makes me a superwoman in my own right – albeit one who doesn’t run her own empire and who lives for lie-ins (plus an extra-large slab of Green & Black’s):

1) I get my children dressed and fed every day. Seriously, every single day…
2) I am the ultimate bag lady: book bags – done. Rugby kit bag – done. PE bags – done. Swimming bags – done. Spare-clothes bag – done. My bag (always last in the pecking order) – done.
3) I sometimes step out the door showered and with make-up on my face.
4) I frequently get to the school gates before the bell rings.
5) I double up as taxi driver, ferrying my boys around from party to club, from optician appointment to sleepover…
6) My unpaid, full-time job involves breaking up fights, wiping away tears, cleaning, ironing, food shopping and cooking passable meals. (Okay, so the house looks like a squat, the washing pile is sky-high and my meals always get a ‘Yuk!’ from someone, but at least it’s not intentional.)
7) I occasionally feed my husband something other than warmed-up, half-spat-out children’s pasta for supper.
8) My to-do lists and diary inputting is up there with the best: birthdays, school meetings, presents, thank-you cards, night outs, nothing gets done and nobody goes anywhere without my seriously impressive organisational skills.

See, I don’t get up at 4am, I don’t have a high-flying career and I’m still ‘super’ (kind of). And there are so many women out there, all quietly amazing in their own individual way. Maybe we just need to celebrate normality a bit more instead of constantly flashing our superwoman capes.

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Fiona Pennell lives in the Cotswolds with her husband and their two boys, Jack, 6, and Otto, 4. A former YOU magazine sub-editor, Fiona now spends her days being trampled on, going on slug hunts and dreaming of lie-ins. (Twitter: @fiona_pennell)

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