Excuse me, your son is wearing a dress…

#BadParent - 21 Feb 16

Progressive, Liberal, Hippie??? Nope I’m just lazy and all for a easy life when it comes to parenting…

This week Adele hit the headlines when she was spotted enjoying a family day out at Disney World with her son wearing a princess dress, and might I add some pretty snazzy sparkly shoes. Sparking thousands of comments, some applauding her, some questioning her decision and sadly a lot of trolling.

In my world the answer is “who cares”. At points over the past few years my three and a half year old son has: had his nails painted, been dressed as a fairy, worn princess shoes at toddler groups and looked particularly ravishing in a pink Easter bonnet and nothing else!

This is not because I’m a forward thinking parent of the modern age, a trail blazer for equality (although FYI I’m all for equality and the freedom to love whoever you wish), I’m not particularly liberal and I’m not known as a Hippie. Its mainly because I’m lazy and basically anything that makes my parenting life easier is where I’m at when it comes to the choices I make.

So when my little boy says “can I wear a dress?” the answer is “yep, go for your life my love” because if the answer is “no” a forty minute argument that includes caterwauling and kicking is likely to ensue. Honestly, at thee in the afternoon on a Tuesday its way to soon to be having that type of a meltdown – after all it is at least 3 & 1/2 hours until I can pour a large glass of wine and drink though the tantrum headache I’ll get!

So on that train of thinking let’s break this down. Adele is at Disney land. Probably not because she had a burning desire to go that day – just as I never have a burning desire to hang out at soft play – but because it will be a fun day out for her child. How much fun would either of them had if she had forced him into a costume he didn’t want to wear for fear of the media coverage. Or just said no? We’ve all been at that point in a gift shop where its just easier to get your purse out!

I applaud Adele, for whatever reasons she allowed her son to wear a dress. Be it because she’s progressive or liberal or for gender equality or just like me doesn’t feel its worth dealing with the fall out. If I am being a bit high horsey about it I would ask if anyone would have even commented if Angelo had been photographed in a Buzz Lightyear costume?

We have what would be deemed traditional girls toys in our house, and not because our son has a baby sister. The pushchair and plastic doll with freaky googly eyes and even more freaky voice crying “mama, mama” resided in our House long before Little Miss P did. As did the Anna, Else & Belle dolls – he loves frozen. My lazy parenting aside I believe he is too young to understand why some believe he should’t wear a dress and quite frankly ” because it makes some people uncomfortable” isn’t a good enough reason for me to make him cry because I’m depriving him of these things.

I had a brilliant – if a little frustrating chat with said three year old about gender recently. This all stemmed from him questioning when his little sister was going to get her willy! Sadly at the end of our chat he was still struggling to wrap his head round the concept of what makes a girl and what makes a boy. Thankfully I’d stuck with the simple distinctions biology gives us, because I don’t believe wearing a dress makes you a girl any more than I believe your favourite colour can’t be pink if you’re a boy. And me telling him girls play with dolls, boys play with cars, only opens up a can of worms when he goes out into the real world and sees the opposite.

I fear equality may be a little too one sided at times. Women can have the same careers as men, command the same wages, could be our Prime Minister if they fancy it (and work hard enough), wear trousers, vote! However boys can’t play with dolls and wear a fairy outfit once in a while without mass debate. I’ve been at groups where Mums have been discussing what are the best ‘gender neutral’ toys to have. WTF! Aren’t all toys gender neutral??? They are in my house anyway.

Why are we so obsessed with applying labels and putting children in the correct boxes. Let them be, allow them to explore and see the world through their own eyes. Be it pink and fluffy or green with muddy spots all over it. They’ll find their own box soon enough, let them live without all the stereotyping and conforming until that point… on that note I do sound a bit like a hippie right?

#BadParent

A Mother, a Wife, a part-time Project Manager, a very bad but keen runner and a blogger. #badparent is my brutally honest & hopefully humorous (at times a little sweary) account of parenthood with my two tiny humans. http://hashtagbadparent.com/

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