Extra Curricular Mum

Rachel Cole - 10 Jan 18

When my daughter was tiny and I was on maternity leave we liked to get out. I had the time and the means to go to a different baby class or group every day of the week.
We did baby sign. We did baby sensory. We did baby cinema. We did baby yoga. We did baby swimming. We went to weekly weigh-ins with the health visitor. We even set up our own baby group in our local community pub. Every day we had a reason to get out of our pyjamas and get out of the house.
We socialised, I spent all my maternity pay (and then some) on baby groups, coffee and cake. We made some of our best friends. Ah, those were the days.

When I had my son we did leave the house every day but that was to take my daughter to nursery. During her morning session we would wander into town and go for coffee and cake but usually we were alone (unless you count the old ladies in the M&S cafe who would coo over him, even touch him- why?).
So unlike the busy days I’d had on my first maternity leave my second was mainly spent coming to terms with having two children and getting through each day.

It has got easier. I went back to work. We sought out, and accepted help. And as the children have grown and started school and nursery the extra curricular activities are back. We do swimming lessons, we do dancing classes and this week sees the start of Rugby Tots for my son and piano lessons for my daughter.

The groups we used to belong to were an essential life-line for me as a first time mum. But they really were for me, not for my baby. It felt reassuring to belong to a community of other mums going through the same thing. We were all just winging it together.

Now the classes we go to are for my children. They are learning new skills, they are making new friends and are working out what it means to be part of a wider team. And I’m working out what my role is in this.

Outside my daughter’s dance class last weekend I overheard the other mums talking about hair-spraying the dance knickers on to avoid wedgies (who knew!) and about the best way to achieve that perfect double plaited bun (with no wispy bits!) I’ve got a lot to learn.

While my children are motivated and interested I will follow their lead. Whether it’s ballet or bobsleighing, piano or powerbocking (look it up!) I will be there with the hairspray, chatting to the other parents because we are all just still winging it together.

Rachel Cole

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