Facebook – an unexpected departure.

Hayley Blundy - 27 Apr 17

So, not entirely Mum related but I know a social Mama or two who will relate, so here is it is….

My Facebook account has been disabled, by Facebook, due to what they describe as a ‘repeated violation of terms’! This is most definitely a first world problem here, but it has been an interesting one for my mind! It has also caused me to write my first ever, possibly my only, blog. It’s not terribly deep or intellectual and mostly just rambling but please do feel free to read on!

To cut a long story short, over the years I have uploaded videos of my dance class  (yep, I am a super cool Street Dance Teacher, or at least I like to think so) to Facebook to share my work but since the copyright terms have been changed, old Facey finds them, tells me off and deletes them. (I’ve not uploaded anything since the first warning, they are now targeting historic posts!)

One Tuesday eve, on what happened to be the eve of my birthday, I was given my final warning and within seconds, that was it. Facebook was gone! I searched my email address and was told the account did not exist. All because of Justin Bloody Bieber and that super catchy tune ‘Sorry’.. the irony!

Fine I thought. For about 10 mins… then off she went, the little voice in my head…

Now I won’t see any birthday messages (embarrassingly, this really was my very next thought!). Everyone will think I have blocked them! I can’t let anyone know about class plans! 10 years of memories are gone…  All those photos, videos…! I’ve always been a good Facebook user. Very responsible in fact! Never have I ever uploaded or shared anything offensive, politically incorrect, racist, sexist or anything like that? Why me? How mean. I’m sad 🙁

Since the ban, I have begun to realise what a huge influence it has over not only mine, but the majority of our day to day lives. The main thing I am missing is the ‘on this day’ feature. I love that it pops up with pictures of my little monkey when he was a tiny baby, reminds me of fun times, great holidays, hilarious memes. I’ve always used Facebook as a bit of a highlight reel, prefer to share the good bits rather than the bad and so it’s a lovely thing to be reminded of the things that made me happy, no matter how small! I miss my friends witty status updates and pictures of their adorable kids/pets/favourite things. I also love a good blog and follow so many pages, recipe accounts, crafty things, selling pages. It comes up in conversation a lot “Oh did you see that thing on Facebook”? Also, on a more selfish note, no one really remembers your birthday without it either!

Truth be told, I feel really quite lost without it and isn’t that, in itself, a very sad reality? I have genuine FOMO and mild anxiety! Is it because I remember a time before Facebook, I wonder?

So, issue and grief aside, what am I learning?

That I certainly don’t miss the copious amounts of memes that say ‘Tag a mate and say nothing’.

I no longer feel like the Grammar Police, wanting to correct spelling mistakes and misuse of your and you’re!

That I waste a silly amount of time scrolling and procrastinating.

I now make more effort to stay on top of current affairs via other news platforms.

My phone battery lasts MUCH longer.

I am realising how much I think ‘Oh I will put that on Facebook’ and questioning why I shared so much? I mean, it’s quite vain really!

I confess I have stalked Instagram a little more – oops!

And on a deeper level:

That I often make myself miserable comparing myself to others, wishing I were better, smarter, thinner, prettier, richer…

I huge part of me craves validation – the likes, loves and the haha’s. The more, the better, a happy me. There is something awfully sad about that. I am worth so much more that a Facebook status.

My friends are very much, still my friends. We will still talk often and I will share my little funnies and pics with them direct – where I feel they would appreciate them anyway! Not in a weird, here is my whole life, kinda way.

I have a huge attachment to the memories, in particular all those photos and feel genuinely sad that they are not there to scroll through every now and then.

I have no doubt there will be more learnings to come!

So nothing too profound here, just a little whine about the cold-turkey withdrawal of a heavy social media habit. Anyone else experienced this? Or am I being utterly ridiculous? Actually, don’t tell me if I am… I love social media and I am not afraid to admit it! Haha!

I have appealed my ban and I if I am accepted back into the world of Facebook with my profile still intact, I will be grateful but I am actually grateful for this lesson too. I needed a reality check! I need to be more present in real life, to look up more often, compare myself to others less, use my phone less in general and, most importantly, to look at, talk to and fully appreciate my amazing, gorgeous Husband a hell of a lot more! My little boy is right here too, learning my habits. He won’t ever know life without the internet, unlike me, and it’s my job to make sure he grows up smart, uses it to his advantage and does not think that his worth is defined by the opinions of others.

Thanks for reading! x

Hayley Blundy

Hey! I am a Married, working Mama of two juggling life the best I can! I suffered with PND and started my business Mum Powered Events to celebrate Mothers for all that they are. I'm also a former street dance teacher and run a dance company with my best friend. I could teach you Thriller, if ya like?!

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