FANCY AN OVERCROWDED DIP?

Site Default - 14 Dec 14

Being surrounded by semi-starkers strangers sporting barely-there swimwear is not my idea of fun.

This I can cope with on a sun-drenched, never-ending beach with oodles of space, but plonk me in a public pool – full to the brim with bodies – and I’m in the equivalent of hell.

I’m only too aware, though, that my phobia is preventing my two boys from learning to swim. Because, although I did baby lessons with both (think bath-temperature water and small class sizes), I rarely take them on my own for a splash around. And the guilt is starting to creep in.

I suppose it feels, as a mother, that this is something that I’m meant to do. That I’m meant to enjoy. So when my husband suggested that we all go for a weekend swim at a nearby leisure centre – complete with a pool play area, slides and waterfalls – I thought I’d better make the effort.

But as soon as we arrived, I just wanted to crawl back home. The place was heaving with families laden with backpacks and towels, all eager to bag the largest changing room and to wear out their restless nippers with a dip.

Once we’d got over the frantic getting-ready scenario – and locked away our damp clothes that our (smirking) youngest had thrown on the wet floor – we headed for the children’s pool, only to be greeted by a red rope and a lifeguard saying it was full.

This meant that we were stuck in the play area with water just up to our knees, toddlers and babies kicking everyone in the back and adults crawling on all fours with their heads at crotch level.

It was like being crammed onto a tube at rush hour, albeit half-naked and partly submerged in water. There was also a spectator spot right above us, so there were about thirty fully-clothed people gawping at us too. Horrific.

I’ve never had a panic attack, but after ten minutes I felt close to one. Maybe it’s because I felt vulnerable in my cossie, squashed among a bunch of mainly middle-aged men in ultra-unflattering skimpies. Or maybe it’s to do with the fact that I just don’t feel comfortable in a swimsuit full stop – a feeling that has stuck since having children. (It probably didn’t help that I was wearing an old and baggy maternity number with zero support.)

Either way, the experience left me feeling deflated and longing for an extra-big towel – plus a very large G&T.

Needless to say I left my other half having to fend for himself, with my eldest clinging on to his back, pretending to be a turtle, and our other son crying because he wanted to be one too.

I felt like such a bad mother, but I just had to get out.

Of course, the kids were loving it…

I have, at least, learnt a few things:
1) I should move on from my maternity swimsuit
2) A jam-packed leisure centre isn’t my ideal way to spend a Saturday
3) I have to somehow get back my body confidence – more yoga, less munching on oh-so-addictive Pom-Bears perhaps?
4) I do want my kids to swim, because they love it
5) Maybe my husband should take them to lessons and I should stop giving myself a hard time?

Motherhood is different for all of us… if you’d like to share your thoughts, why not join our Network & start posting?

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Fiona Pennell lives in the Cotswolds with her husband and their two boys, Jack, 6, and Otto, 4. A former YOU magazine sub-editor, Fiona now spends her days being trampled on, going on slug hunts and dreaming of lie-ins. (Twitter: @fiona_pennell)

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