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Feminism and my boy
http://www.musingsofawildwoman.com/
“A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” Gloria Steinem
Mr Wild Woman told me that he was a feminist pretty soon after meeting me
I was mostly convinced, not fully to be honest
I knew he fancied me
I knew he really, really liked me
He thought I was hot (he is human after all)
He knew I was about to move to
So even though he told me he was a feminist
I was hesitant to fully believe him
That was nearly sixteen years ago
My journey with feminism has been complex, not always rewarding and it has certainly not always been easy
But the truth is if I was a stick of rock I would have feminist written right through me
To me feminism is humanity
It is a very strong part of my identity
Feminism is equality
Feminism is respecting and celebrating
Feminism is individuality
Feminism is egalitarianism
Feminism is treating people well
Feminism is making sure that our most vulnerable have a voice
Feminism is not about hating men, it is not connected to hate in any way (it is interesting how many people hold this misconception)
Feminism can be angry (anger is not hate)
But that anger is often rooted in injustice and frustration
To me feminism is love
The love of people
The love of women
The love of men
The love of people who love and respect
The love of life
The love of love
But feminism, like all other things, has evolved
And so has my relationship with it
It is continually evolving
As am I
I am a strong woman
I am an empowered woman
I am a very privileged woman
I am woman who has been very fortunate to give birth to two incredible young women
I am a woman who believes the future is bright because of these incredible young women and their incredible friends
I believe that feminism is one of the things that will make this world
Feminism amongst many other things
Feminism challenges norms
It obliterates stereotypes
It holds floodlights up to discrimination
It strives to protect the oppressed against further oppression
And it lifts, supports and encourages those who are pushing for better days in the most brilliant ways
When Mr Wild Woman told me he was a feminist, I raised an eyebrow and said nothing (yes this did happen, but as I said it was sixteen years ago)
He was the first man I ever heard embrace and own that word as a part of their
Even though Mr Wild Woman has been an arsehole at times and his behaviour may not have been conducive to my beliefs and my expectations of a feminist
I believe he is a feminist
I believe Mr Wild Woman is a (quietly) raging feminist
I know he adores women
I know he treats me the same as he would anybody else
We have disagreed over many, many, many, many (you get the picture) things but these were never about
We met as two people
We fell in love as two people who happened to fall hard for each other
When he is annoyed with me about stuff it never has anything to do with my gender
He has never pulled the “women should” card
It wouldn’t occur to him
Actually if the truth be told I have pulled more gender stereotype bullshit over the years than he ever has (I’m still learning and unlearning too, we are never done, I’m an imperfect person and I get it wrong)
Men should own feminism too
Men
They care about humanity
Mr Wild Woman buys my tampons without even thinking about it
He cooks 90% of my meals (Lily pretty much cooks the other 10%)
He irons occasionally (I don’t know how to use it and nobody wants me to for fear I turn it on and forget about it)
He warns me about rogue facial hair sightings (nobody told me or prepared me for that shit)
He makes me feel like a goddess by the way he looks at
He supports me with all my schemes, ideas, plottings, courses and detours
He has never judged me on my weight, my looks or my body
He has judged me purely on my arsehole behaviour and I his too
He is an incredible role model for the girls
And he knows they are watching it all
They see how we are
They see what we do
They see our mistakes
But they know that they should only accept love no matter who they are with
No matter what the relationship is
Only let the love and light in
And if their partner is not a
Then they soon will be
Or else they won’t last long
Feminism makes sense if you love people
Because to me feminism is love
Feminism is about making the world better for everyone
Why would you not want that?
Have a lovely day
Love
Lou
“We need to reclaim the word ’feminism’. We need the word ’feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist – and only 42% of British women – I used to think, What do you think feminism IS,