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Finding love when you have a plus one?

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I am hurtling towards my mid forties and despite being pretty happy with my lot in life, it would be nice to have some romance in the air.

Last January as part of my New Year, New Me resolutions I signed up for a dating website. It was one of the big ones and after deliberating at length what to write in my profile and which picture would sell me best, I finally went live. Within a day a seemingly great guy was in touch and, we messaged, met up and flirted like crazy with each other (there was lots of hand holding), messaged more and met up

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again. Easy peasy I thought, why had I not done this before? However, mid that all important third date, something changed and suddenly he was not that into me anymore. Pride dented I picked myself up, ’rebranded’ myself with new pictures and fine tuned my profile. Six months down the line I was £130 worse off and had only been on one more lousy date which felt more like a job interview – he actually asked me about my cooking and homemaking skills… I felt it was time to throw in the proverbial love towel.

Here’s the rub – even men with kids

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didn’t want to meet women with kids according to their profiles. So where do you go from there? I have a child, I’m very, very happy to have him and he is for life. Is it him or romance? Do men perhaps think I am looking for a Dad replacement for him? I’m not. He has a Dad. He maybe dead but he is and will always remain his Dad. Or maybe I’m deluding myself and it really is me.

I’m lucky, I have great friends both male and female, I just don’t want to kiss any of them and as far as I know, the feeling is mutual. So what to do? Should I be

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proactive and put myself back out there or listen to my older family members who keep assuring me that love will find me when I least expect it? Answers on a postcard please.

Valentines Day is on the way and love is seemingly everywhere, here’s hoping that this year cupid doesn’t mind that I’m also a mother.

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- 23 Jan 16

 

I am hurtling towards my mid forties and despite being pretty happy with my lot in life, it would be nice to have some romance in the air.

Last January as part of my New Year, New Me resolutions I signed up for a dating website. It was one of the big ones and after deliberating at length what to write in my profile and which picture would sell me best, I finally went live. Within a day a seemingly great guy was in touch and, we messaged, met up and flirted like crazy with each other (there was lots of hand holding), messaged more and met up again. Easy peasy I thought, why had I not done this before? However, mid that all important third date, something changed and suddenly he was not that into me anymore. Pride dented I picked myself up, ‘rebranded’ myself with new pictures and fine tuned my profile. Six months down the line I was £130 worse off and had only been on one more lousy date which felt more like a job interview – he actually asked me about my cooking and homemaking skills… I felt it was time to throw in the proverbial love towel.

Here’s the rub – even men with kids didn’t want to meet women with kids according to their profiles. So where do you go from there? I have a child, I’m very, very happy to have him and he is for life. Is it him or romance? Do men perhaps think I am looking for a Dad replacement for him? I’m not. He has a Dad. He maybe dead but he is and will always remain his Dad. Or maybe I’m deluding myself and it really is me.

I’m lucky, I have great friends both male and female, I just don’t want to kiss any of them and as far as I know, the feeling is mutual. So what to do? Should I be proactive and put myself back out there or listen to my older family members who keep assuring me that love will find me when I least expect it? Answers on a postcard please.

Valentines Day is on the way and love is seemingly everywhere, here’s hoping that this year cupid doesn’t mind that I’m also a mother.

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Mother to Cooper. Lover of travelling. Optimist. Organiser.

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