5 THINGS I DON’T MISS ABOUT LIFE BEFORE KIDS

Georgina Fuller - 2 Nov 14

Sometimes, when you’re so tired you don’t even realise you have poured tea onto your porridge instead of milk, when you are up to your elbows in baby poo and extracting a crusty Cheerio off the bottom of your slipper, it’s all too easy to harp wistfully back to your life pre children. To think of the time where you spent entire days sleeping off a hangover, when the biggest decision you had to make was whether to go for a Chinese or an Indian takeaway and a time when your kitchen was (nearly) always completely spotless. But, three children and one very wobbly tummy later, I also realise there is an awful lot I don’t miss about my life before they came along. Namely:

1) Hangovers

Waking up with a mouth like sandpaper, a head that feels like someone has compressed it in a meat grinder and a sense of fear and self-loathing – can’t say I miss that very much. In my 20s, I often used to marvel at my ability to function on less than five hours sleep and churn out 1500 words on subjects like how to implement a social media strategy into your business to what makes a good boss the next morning with a hangover. Now I marvel at the fact I manage to get myself, a baby, toddler and a five year old clean, dressed, breakfasted and out the house by 8:20am every morning on less than five hours sleep (but usually without the hangover.) Then come home and try and write 1500 words whilst looking after two out of three of them.

2) Self-absorption

Before I had children I went to the trouble of washing my hair every day, tolerating a packed tube into Central London just so I could find the perfect pair of knee high boots and hours deliberating which Sarah Chapman product to buy from Space NK. I waxed my bikini line, exfoliated and ate salads for lunch. Now, to quote another Mummy Blogger on Twitter, the definition of a special occasion is shaving above the knee. That is not to say I was hugely vain before or that I have let myself go now, just that I have decided to spend considerably less time, effort and money on such frivolities. That and the fact that I can barely go for a wee in peace let alone have time to apply a deep conditioning treatment.

3) The pressure to look and sound as though I have a life

Sometimes, if I had had a quiet weekend at home doing nothing but watching DVDs and shuffling to Sainsbury’s, I would dread hearing that ubiquitous Monday morning question at the office: “What did you get up to at the weekend?” I would always feel slightly ashamed if I had nothing remotely interesting to say and always felt an underlying (entirely self-imposed) pressure to go to the theatre and local gallery more and make the most out of living in London. I am rarely asked such a question on a Monday morning now and no one expects me to do anything more interesting than going to a children’s party or check out the new Dunhelm. The only time I miss being asked about my weekend now is on the rare occasions when I have done something more exciting.

4) Cooking

Before I had children, I used to love messing around in the kitchen and prided myself on my ability to host dazzling dinner parties.  All I needed was to rustle up Jamie Oliver’s fish pie and Nigel Slater’s lemon posset, add a couple of bottles of Sauvignon Blanc and we were all set for a fantastic evening. The novelty of cooking probably started wearing off around the time I began weaning our second son and now I am just as happy buying a Waitrose deal for two or whizzing up a quick pasta and pesto. Having to pander to the needs of two (three including the husband) very fussy boys who are utter plebs when it comes to food and pureeing everything for the baby has taken some of the joy out of cooking. But, do you know what, I really can’t say I miss it.

5) Wondering if and when I am going to have kids

I don’t know about you but I always wanted to be a mother. One of my earliest memories is of trying to breastfeed one of my poor, unsuspecting dolls and wondering why milk would not come out. I always knew that I wanted three children as well so I knew I would have to get cracking relatively early. I remember worrying about whether I would ever find “the one” (which seems ridiculous in hindsight as I was only 24 when I met my now husband) and then worrying about when and if I would be able to have children. I am quite happy to be fairly spontaneous on a day to day basis but I like to plan the big stuff and I knew that was something I could never plan. Now I have my brood I worry about all sorts of other things instead but at least I don’t have to worry about that.

So, whilst there is a lot I do miss about my life before children and cellulite, there is also a lot that I do not… and I must try and remember that on a bad day.

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Georgina Fuller

Georgina Fuller is a freelance journalist, reluctant realist and mother of three; Charlie (8), Edward (5) and Jemima (3.) She writes for The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, Red, Smallish, Little London magazine and anyone else who pays her. After eight years in London, she now lives in a Midsomer Murdersesque village on the edge of the Cotswolds.

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