10 reasons why new parents need to garden

Kay Harrison - 1 Sep 17

I used to think you got into gardening when you started series linking Songs Of Praise. But what did I know? Turns out, it is the perfect pursuit for new parents. And here are ten reasons why…

YOU GET FIT
Like most new mums, I’d like to lose the wobble. But things are conspiring against me, not least a nine-a-day Hobnob habit. I can’t just pop on trainers and take off on a solo run any more. Half an hour in the swimming pool requires five hours’ planning. But gardening, well, that is possible. I can put the tiny one in a bouncy chair in the shade and use my lawn like LA Fitness.

So sack off ambitions of body attack classes and mow the lawn instead. And get yourself some Michelle Obama arms by lugging bags of Miracle-Gro about and playing tug of war removing ugly plants.

YOU WILL TALK TO PEOPLE. LIKE, REAL, ACTUAL GROWN-UPS
When I had child No1, I’d just moved house so had no mum mates, no family nearby and no clue. Gardening, I’ve since found, is the perfect icebreaker. If you’re in the front garden, you’ll get chatting to all kinds of passersby. When you’ve got a trowel/spade in your hand, it’s a licence to chat to strangers. Even if you’re saying: “I have no idea what I’m doing with this trowel/spade/baby. Help.”

DETOX YOUR TECH BRAIN
It’s been scientifically proven that one hour’s gardening can cancel out an afternoon watching Netflix while scrolling through Facebook.

SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT
You CAN grow something, other than a human. Even if it’s just basil in a pot on your doorstep. There are some people who think gardening is outdoor housework but, believe me, planting, cutting, chopping and weeding is far more rewarding than pegging out washing for the fourth time. You don’t need a degree in horticulture, either.

GARDEN CENTRES ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND
These places are brilliantly buggy friendly. I regularly go to my local garden centre to do laps with my brute of a Quinny. It’s a change of scene and you can kill an hour without looking like a shoplifter or weirdo. Added bonus: most of the weekday customers are pensioners shuffling around at a similar speed to you. They don’t care if you smell of wee and look dug up. You won’t get that in Waitrose.

BEAT THE BLUES
New babies can lift you up… and bring you down. Those first months/years are a puke-laden, tear-stained, head-wrecking rollercoaster ride. Postnatal depression is horribly common, as is anxiety, so getting outside can help ease the horror. You get fresh air, a boost of Vitamin D (weather gods permitting) and put some distance between you and the Ben Nevis of crusty cereal bowls in the sink.

YOU’RE ALREADY DRESSED FOR IT
Face facts, if you’re at home with a baby, you’re looking a fright. So no harm getting even messier, mucking in with the gardening, right? Maternity jeans are also perfect for weeding. That stretchy bit you yank up over your expanding tum means you can bend over without flashing at the neighbours.

MR BLOOM
You’ll have some common ground. So to speak.

LEARN MOTHER NATUREY STUFF
Yeay. Your battered baby brain gets to gently learn about flowers, fruits, vegetables and all manner of green thingies. Which is quite nice if you’re missing using the old grey matter for something other than wiping tiny poopy bottoms. And in the event of a zombie apocalypse, you can provide for your family as you will already be a grow your own connoisseur.

YOUR OWN SEEDLINGS WILL LOVE IT
Think how nice it will be (and smug you can feel) passing your gardening know-how on to your little people. It’s something cute you can do together and share. While they still like you.

So don’t bother with rattles and teddies, it’s trowels and watering cans new parents really need.

Kay Harrison

Kay is a journalist, working for assorted national tabloids, and is also a mum of two. She desperately wants small humans to love the outdoors as much as she did as a kid, when she squished up rose petals to make perfume and dug for worms. She has uprooted from London and now lives back up North. She runs the Bad Gardeners' Club website, where she weeds out garden jargon and helps fellow clueless gardeners with blogs, advice and cautionary tales.

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