Gaining a little perspective

Serena Dobson - 29 Feb 16

Last summer we moved house. We took our cat and our nearly two year old, and our (then unborn) baby and we headed further North than I ever imagined I would live. We left behind our friends and some of our family which tinged our excitement with some sadness. I got stressed with the mess, the heat (we had a few warm days last summer. They all seemed to fall in the weeks leading up to our move), the cost, the packing. I was tired from the pregnancy, and from still working, and from looking after a toddler who took the mess of boxes, emptying cupboards and stacked belongings to mean we had simply created him a brand new play space. MD had to deal with a slightly hormonally unstable wife, a hyperactive toddler, the heat and working full time. Safe to say, we don’t plan on doing it again any time soon.

Fast forward six months and we are here, we are settled and we are happy. We have great new friends, we are closer to much of our family and we have discovered that actually, in the grand scheme of things, we aren’t that far away from those we “left behind”. Above all else we are safe. Our lives are not in danger. We made this move because we wanted to. Not because we had to.

Whatever your political leanings the news currently makes for difficult viewing. As a Mother, I find the situation in Syria particularly distressing as it involves so many families. So many children. So many people who in so many respects are just like us. Or at least, were just like us. Working. Raising families. Studying. Striving to realise their dreams, whatever they were. The difference is that their lives have been totally, catastrophically and in many cases irreparably torn apart. There are many views and opinions being thrown about through the wonders of social media about what we should do. What they should do. What the powers that be should do. Frankly some of it shocks me. Some of it makes me wonder what kind of society I have brought my children in to. Lack of basic compassion and total ignorance abounds, though of course there is also a wave of good – people doing amazing things to both raise awareness and offer practical help and aid.

But for me, at least, there is this… As I look back to that time six months ago, when I was so incredibly “stressed” by the whole process of moving. When I wondered how and why we would choose to pack all our belongings up and move our home away from what was (to me at least) all that had ever been familiar in my life, I count every single blessing I have. I didn’t face the prospect of sending my children on ahead before me, alone and frightened. I didn’t face the prospect of leaving my husband behind to fight (or worse). I didn’t face the prospect of never seeing the friends and family I left behind again because of political uncertainty or massacre. I didn’t face the prospect of losing everything I have and travelling on foot, or in an overcrowded “boat” to arrive cold, hungry, frightened and unwelcome. I didn’t have to give birth to my daughter in filthy conditions whilst fleeing for my own life. I didn’t face the prospect of starting from a basis of absolutely nothing to provide a new beginning for my family. I wasn’t scared for my life or for the lives of my children. I wasn’t homeless or cold or lacking basic sanitation in a tent in no mans land. I wasn’t told to “go back to where I came from” to fight a battle I had no part in.

Whilst we all get caught up in the stresses of life (something I will be forever guilty of I am sure), for me, at least, the horrific situation which is reality for so many has been a valuable lesson in not sweating the small stuff; and being truly, genuinely thankful for so many things I have been guilty of taking for granted.

Serena Dobson

for a long time it was just the two of us. We worked hard, ate out and had nice holidays. Then we got a cat. We still did all of those things, but we had to remember to put the cat in a cattery when we went on those nice long holidays. Then we acquired a small person... and the holidays dwindled in number. As did the opportunities to enjoy long lingering meals out. Now we're anticipating the arrival of another small person and something's gotta give. The house is too small, the garden is non existent and the green space is a drive away. Work is tough, especially when we're both commuting to the big smoke. And juggle nursery pick up. AND keep a semblance of a grip on things like laundry and washing up. So what do you do? Embark on a bit of a lifestyle change. In the country. In the North. Probably not eating that many peaches...

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