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View as: GRID LIST

Glitter

1
On the school run this chilly February morning, I was truly delighted at the sparkling frost littering the pavement, covering car rooves and windscreens. It made everything feel magical. I felt like a reaaaallly old Elsa from Frozen but slightly less poe-faced and selfish. The school run took ages because I kept making my poor daughter stop so I could try and capture the “sparkle” in an insta story.

She didn’t mind. She “hates school anyway” (Until she actually goes in and has a whale of a time). *Eyeroll emoji*

But I couldn’t capture

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2
that sparkle! Boo! It made me frustrated. I wanted the world to share my excitement and joy at seeing white and silver glitter everywhere!

However, WOULD everyone share my joy? DOES everyone love glitter as much as me? I don’t think they do. In fact I will be so bold as to say there are a good deal of people in the world who actively HATE the poor, defenceless, sparkly stuff! How very dare they?!

They hate that it gets everywhere. It does get everywhere (but I love that! Make everything sparkly!). Some parents ban it from their house entirely. No

SelfishMother.com
3
glitter crafting going on in that abode! Come to mine! I have POTS of the stuff. And yes you can mix it all up and make a weird orange/brown/grey mix of glitter. I don’t care! And it doesn’t matter to me that it gets everywhere because I think extra sparkles on everything makes the world a better place!

I still get bubbles of excitement when I think about silver and gold glitter in particular. I have a very vivid memory of going into the supplies cupboard in my junior school at Christmas time and being allowed to get the gold and silver card with

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4
gold and silver glitter to make special crowns for the Christmas play. It filled me with elation.

I don’t know why, perhaps because I am colossally immature? But that level of delirium about glitter has never waned. When my first child was a baby (9 months old) I spent hours and hours making glitter covered Christmas cards, that I am still proud of to this day. He obviously had no hand in it because he could barely sit up unaided. But being a mum meant I could be let loose on the glitter once again! WOooHOOo!

I don’t really understand how

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5
people don’t like how it looks though, even if they hate the actual stuff itself. It’s so pretty! I look at it and think “You’re so pretty, why do people hate you so much?” It’s like I am talking to myself in the mirror!

Of course, I am on the cusp of generations. Old consumerist, plastic filled, fuck-the-environment generation and the new climate conscious, sustainable, breakdownable stuffable generation. Well I say I am on the cusp, I am not really. I am old. But I am also increasingly aware of the effect things like glitter have on the

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6
environment. It ain’t cool. So this part of glitter hatred I DO get. But you can get biodegradable glitter so ”can it”, hippy Millennials!

I’m sorry, I am showing off. I want to be cool like you too, Millennials! Shall I put this in a TikTok? But only if I can use the glitter filter, k?

Glitter FOREEEEVER!!!!!!

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- 11 Feb 22

On the school run this chilly February morning, I was truly delighted at the sparkling frost littering the pavement, covering car rooves and windscreens. It made everything feel magical. I felt like a reaaaallly old Elsa from Frozen but slightly less poe-faced and selfish. The school run took ages because I kept making my poor daughter stop so I could try and capture the “sparkle” in an insta story.

She didn’t mind. She “hates school anyway” (Until she actually goes in and has a whale of a time). *Eyeroll emoji*

But I couldn’t capture that sparkle! Boo! It made me frustrated. I wanted the world to share my excitement and joy at seeing white and silver glitter everywhere!

However, WOULD everyone share my joy? DOES everyone love glitter as much as me? I don’t think they do. In fact I will be so bold as to say there are a good deal of people in the world who actively HATE the poor, defenceless, sparkly stuff! How very dare they?!

They hate that it gets everywhere. It does get everywhere (but I love that! Make everything sparkly!). Some parents ban it from their house entirely. No glitter crafting going on in that abode! Come to mine! I have POTS of the stuff. And yes you can mix it all up and make a weird orange/brown/grey mix of glitter. I don’t care! And it doesn’t matter to me that it gets everywhere because I think extra sparkles on everything makes the world a better place!

I still get bubbles of excitement when I think about silver and gold glitter in particular. I have a very vivid memory of going into the supplies cupboard in my junior school at Christmas time and being allowed to get the gold and silver card with gold and silver glitter to make special crowns for the Christmas play. It filled me with elation.

I don’t know why, perhaps because I am colossally immature? But that level of delirium about glitter has never waned. When my first child was a baby (9 months old) I spent hours and hours making glitter covered Christmas cards, that I am still proud of to this day. He obviously had no hand in it because he could barely sit up unaided. But being a mum meant I could be let loose on the glitter once again! WOooHOOo!

I don’t really understand how people don’t like how it looks though, even if they hate the actual stuff itself. It’s so pretty! I look at it and think “You’re so pretty, why do people hate you so much?” It’s like I am talking to myself in the mirror!

Of course, I am on the cusp of generations. Old consumerist, plastic filled, fuck-the-environment generation and the new climate conscious, sustainable, breakdownable stuffable generation. Well I say I am on the cusp, I am not really. I am old. But I am also increasingly aware of the effect things like glitter have on the environment. It ain’t cool. So this part of glitter hatred I DO get. But you can get biodegradable glitter so “can it”, hippy Millennials!

I’m sorry, I am showing off. I want to be cool like you too, Millennials! Shall I put this in a TikTok? But only if I can use the glitter filter, k?

Glitter FOREEEEVER!!!!!!

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Jess is a wine-addled, social media tart, *feminist and chronic over sharer. She lives in Cardiff with her husband, children (G-11/J-7) and some cats. Went to art school but after graduation got sucked into working for "the man". Now trying to claw her creative way out by fancying herself as a bit of writer. (*Intersectional/trans incl)

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