Good Baby, Bad Baby!

Julie Bickerton - 19 Jun 17

“Is he a good baby?”
Um, sorry? “No, he’s a bad baby”
Imagine saying that in response to that question. Babies aren’t good, or bad, they’re babies and ‘they’ are human. It always makes me chuckle when I hear adult humans talk about little humans like they’re another species. Mind you, quite often babies can be otherwordly in as much as I think babies see things that we adults don’t see.
Some babies have a ‘been here before’ look.
Some babies don’t like being babies. By that I mean they’ll scream and protest and test and then (snaps fingers), they are out of it. Oh bollocks, I said ‘they’.
Also babies can seem like aliens. If you haven’t had much experience with babies then why oh why should you know how they (oops I did it again) work? Parenthood is one long learning experience and a great chance for self enquiry both on a personal level and on a motherhood level.

Anyway, back to the bad baby conversation. It’s really lovely to hear a mum saying “she’s a good baby” because it (usually) means the Mum is happy too. Generalised comment but you know what I mean.
There’s a saying “you’re only as happy as your unhappiest child” so if you’re a new mum and you’ve got a ‘good’ baby then you’re happy right? But then your baby changes and there you are searching for that elusive thing that you did to make them that good baby. I remember when my son Beau stopped sleeping through the night and I’d cooked onions for dinner. I blamed it on the onions and vowed never to cook strong smelling food again. Bad onions. Bad baby. Bad mother.

Oh and on that sleeping subject, that’s another question that strangers like to ask “Is he a good sleeper?” No, he’s a crap sleeper that’s why I’m here buying brandy that you’ll suggest to put on his dummy because “it never did me harm”.
“Just leave him to cry, you’re making a rod for you’re own back picking him up all the time” (sorry older generation but this seems to be a favourite). Oh OK. I’ll do that then.

Oh and another thing I’ve got real issues with the word ‘clingy’. Babies are not clingy, they need reassurance. He’s going through a ‘needs reassurance’ stage. I know it doesn’t quite slip off the tongue as easy as  ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’ but the way we speak to new mums and the wording we use for both ourselves and our babies could do with readdressing.
“When will I get back to my normal self?” NORMAL? NORMAL? Nah, don’t kid yourself. You are forever changed whether you like it or not. And you are a new AMAZING whether you know it or not.

Julie teaches Massage and Yoga to parent and babies in and around Stamford, Lincolnshire. You can find me at www.babynomad.net and you can follow me on Facebook and Instagram for lots of easy to follow massage and yoga bytes.

Julie Bickerton

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