Grandad: A ‘Super Mum’ Ahead of His Time

Marylyn Whaymand - 27 Apr 17

Often the experiences of grandparents, especially a Grandad’s aren’t written about. I wanted to write a bit about my own Dad who sadly died in 2015 but was in many ways before his time.

Parenting as a grandparent has its drawbacks (my Dad Jim got more tired, more quickly and he could be set in his ways) but there can be benefits too. Having already experienced life as a parent, he knew the pitfalls –  though he remained prone to making mistakes and repeated many of them again. Observing my father renewing his parenting role, I came to look up to him in a way that I never thought I would. I started to see him as a carer and nurturer – taking pleasure in being ‘Grandad Super Mum’ to his grandchildren – getting them actively involved in sport. Dad immersed himself in their activities; taking on time-keeping and other roles at the local swimming club where they trained and competed. And his efforts and encouragement were rewarded; both children became fantastic swimmers. One of them won gold medals at the County Championships and at Galas all over the UK (Jim also loved long distance driving)!

This was a stark contrast to my experience of the swimming pool with my father as a 28-year old, many years before. He only took me once but that was enough! He dived into the deep end of the pool in inimitable macho fashion, impressing the locals while leaving his 4-year old daughter stranded on poolside. It didn’t end there either. Someone took delight in pushing me into the water. And the experience had a long-term effect …. I still can’t swim. So sometimes I can see that Dad was a very different parent to me and perhaps softened a little in older age.

Dad then became a single parent and looked after my niece and nephew full-time. He always joked that he had given up a job he loved (long-distance lorry driving) to look after his grandchildren. But in reality, he never gave it a second thought. He managed to get an office job at his previous employers, working part-time to fit around the children’s school hours. Their education, however, was something he didn’t feel entirely comfortable with, having left school himself at 11 as the Blitz started in London. He left it to me to attend the parent-teacher evenings and to help with English and History A-levels.

A life-long interest in education is something I did benefit from (unlike the swimming pool experience). Although self-taught himself, he encouraged me to take education seriously. I had opportunities that Jim and his father (my Grandfather) never have dreamed of — grammar school and university.

Dad died but his influence and legacy live on. Both of the grandchildren that he brought up now have their own children. His granddaughter has a post-graduate degree, achieved while being the mother of two young boys  and working full-time in a high-powered, senior management role. His grandson has an established career and a young family. Dad was proud of all his children and grandchildren  … and looking back at what he achieved, we feel proud too.

He adapted, he improvised and it paid off in the end. He was truly a modern SuperMum in every sense of the world.

Marylyn Whaymand

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