Has anyone seen Mel?

Melissa Hamblett - 23 Jun 16

I’ve lost myself. Under a mountain of nappies and an ever increasing washing pile, I seem to have misplaced my identity.

PMM (Pre Mum, Mel) used to be quite good fun, really. She was career focused, she’d come home and be able to talk at length over dinner about current affairs. PMM would hang out with her Husband and friends at the weekend, they’d drink, laugh and go to gigs without a second thought about how they’d cope with the hangover.

But Alas, PMM is no more – and I’m wondering if she’ll ever come back from that sabbatical I offered her. Or if in fact, on Valentine’s Day 2016 she took the hump at being strapped to a hospital bed, rather than a hotel one* and decided never to grace me with her presence again. Whatever her reasons for leaving, I do hope she comes back…and soon.

You see, a friend who’s also a new-mum said to me recently that “babies just have to fit into your life.” She said it with such conviction and gusto that I almost believed her.

And if you’re one of those lucky Mums who can just carry on as usual, I’m so incredibly pleased for you. But that’s just not how it’s worked out for us. EVERYTHING has changed to accommodate our tiny human, including me.

• I reigned in my lipstick hoarding habit, so that I could afford almost a year off with him.
• I stopped going to work so I could spent my days with him.
• We’ve stopped cooking dinner between 5-6:30pm, because generally that’s when the little monster decides he can’t take on the day anymore and needs to sleep NOW.
• I also decided I no longer needed sleep to function…. You get the drift.

But perhaps the biggest change is that we no longer leave the house in the evening. We’re now the annoying people that always ask friends to come to us for dinner. “I don’t want to rock the boat with his routine” I say. “He’s still not sleeping brilliantly, Would you mind coming to us again?”

God, What a boring friend I’ve become. You wouldn’t see PMM worrying about this shit. PMM would tell me to chuck the travel cot in the car, head out for the night and sod the consequences.

But PMM had sleep. What the hell does she know?!

And this is where I’ve lost myself. Somewhere between the good intentions of being the fun friend that people used to like hanging out with, and being a great Mum, who puts the needs of her little boy first (and perhaps the selfish needs of my heavy eyelids.)

My theory is that there HAS to be a happy medium, right?

So, if anyone finds my former self; tell her she’s welcome back at any time. But she might just need to change a few nappies along the way.

*Dad, if you’re reading this, Don’t worry – I have never been strapped to a hotel bed on Valentine’s Day…

…We don’t have the disposable income for Hotels.

Melissa Hamblett

Mum to Max, Wife, Journalist, DJ, Crazy Cat Lady, Mermaid Enthusiast and Make-Up Junkie. More of my ramblings here: https://maximummel.wordpress.com/

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