Hello Fear… I’ve Got Your Number

demandra - 9 Feb 16

I’ve made the big move – I’ve resigned. I’ve got a business idea that I am passionate about. I’ve checked that there is a problem that needs fixing (and my research says that there is). I’ve got 3 months until I finish at my current role. This is when the income stream dries up. And now I have my next enemy to battle with – procrastination.

Hello Procrastination! Or shall I call you by your other name – Fear? Yes Fear, I see you. There you are, cloaked under the guise of dossing on Facebook, watching too much TV, feeling lost and purposeless. I can you see you lurking in the recesses of my mind. You know that I am on a tight timeline and the stakes are high. My idea is good, but it needs to be developed. Time to gestate, to take inspiration from others, to grow my community and network of collaborators, while I can still support myself with my current role.

I need to keep my eye on the prize. The prize is a successful entrepreneurial business, that is both financially and personally rewarding. That gives back to the community and “does good”, but on my terms. And my terms are that I am a happy, active, contributing member of my family, spending time with my children every day. And not just doing the boring chore based tasks that aren’t fun for anyone. Where I get to experience and grow with them, sharing their interests and good times, not simply going through the motions to get through all of the required tasks in a day.

If I get to the end of my three months and I haven’t given my idea the space it needs to grow, I will be short changing myself. I know what I am like. The lure of a fat salary and work place validation is a strong. When my confidence is low and I feel nervous, or scared about money, I can easily be pulled back into the Corporate Wilds of London. And this is not the right place for me at the moment.

So Fear, I’ve got your number. I am not going to let you distract me. I have what it takes to nurture this idea. And if I fail, it will not be because I haven’t given it my best work and attention. I am going to win this battle in the inches not the miles. My steps forward may be small, but they will happen everyday.

demandra

I think it is going to be a tale of the Mummy Juggler! I know that, not for a minute, am I alone on this tale. I am hoping that by sharing my story I might help other’s (and myself) remember that we don’t have to be superwoman, we don’t have to do it all alone, and it’s possible (just about!) to have a successful career and be a present, loving parent. It might also have a bit about the importance of work that counts. That adds to the world in a positive, useful way. Something that I care about immensely. Other times it might just be about life and how to process it all. Lets see what comes out!

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