Here’s To The ‘Bad Mum Revolution’
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When I became pregnant I was under the impression that my former self would have to be removed like a gnarly wart. Goodbye to the piercings, the hip hop, the leather trousers and hello to the Laura Ashley mid-length skirt and alice-band. And I felt depressed.
And then, thanks to Instagram, I happened upon a swarm of pierced, biker booted, badass women who also happened to be amazing mums. And, just like that, the Laura Ashley myth was dead. And then, to really make sure it was well and truly without a pulse, I witnessed a Scummy Mummies sketch show
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and it blew my tiny mind. I laughed my socks off at the Scummy admissions of forgotten teeth brushing, Frazzles lunches and using a baby bottle as a wine receptacle (not exact examples but very much along those lines). And armed with the knowledge that I didn’t need to dress to impress OR pretend to be perfect I marched onwards and parented as myself, rather than what I thought people wanted to see.
It’s now such a phenomenon that it has a name: The Bad Mum’s club. This is anyone who has stamped on the pretence surrounding parenting.
The bad
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mum’s club is the best thing to have happen to motherhood since Aperol spiked gin and tonics. And I am pathetically grateful that it’s landed during my motherhoodship. I think, without it, I might have popped from the pressure by now.
You know how parenting is really exhausting? Well I cannot imagine the added loneliness and energy required to Perform ’The Perfect Parent’.
It seems that any deviation from the image of the perfect mother scares society to it’s core – if ’The Mother’ is deconstructed, then society as a whole will crumble. Of
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course the worst offer is the Daily ’hate’ Mail – if any woman dare deviate from The Virgin Mary she better get ready for a barrage of snide remarks.
But mum’s have had enough of the finger pointing, especially from journalists who are often parents themselves and almost certainly, unless they are robots, have enjoyed mine sweeping their children’s dinner whilst enjoying their 5 oclock chardonnay.
Thanks to the Bad Mum Revolution, there is a gigantic sigh of relief that other mums aren’t perfect either.
And I suppose that’s the brilliant
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irony of the bad mum movement. It’s absolutely not about being an bad, irresponsible mum that doesn’t care. Or a mum that doesn’t love her kids with all of her big beating heart.
It’s about being real about the experience so we all feel we’re in this together. Not pretending is so much more fun. And funny. You only need to follow the ’Scummy Mummies’ and ’Hurrah for Gin’ to see how much joy there is in sharing a joke about kids pooing in their wellies. Every time someone breaks another taboo around parenting my heart leaps and another parent
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has been set free from the torment of The Perfect Parent.
Find Cherry’s fab website here: http://www.cherryhealey.com
And her brilliant book ”Letters To My Fanny” here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Letters-my-Fanny-Cherry-Healey/dp/1405919795
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Cherry Healey - 17 Nov 16
When I became pregnant I was under the impression that my former self would have to be removed like a gnarly wart. Goodbye to the piercings, the hip hop, the leather trousers and hello to the Laura Ashley mid-length skirt and alice-band. And I felt depressed.
And then, thanks to Instagram, I happened upon a swarm of pierced, biker booted, badass women who also happened to be amazing mums. And, just like that, the Laura Ashley myth was dead. And then, to really make sure it was well and truly without a pulse, I witnessed a Scummy Mummies sketch show and it blew my tiny mind. I laughed my socks off at the Scummy admissions of forgotten teeth brushing, Frazzles lunches and using a baby bottle as a wine receptacle (not exact examples but very much along those lines). And armed with the knowledge that I didn’t need to dress to impress OR pretend to be perfect I marched onwards and parented as myself, rather than what I thought people wanted to see.
It’s now such a phenomenon that it has a name: The Bad Mum’s club. This is anyone who has stamped on the pretence surrounding parenting.
The bad mum’s club is the best thing to have happen to motherhood since Aperol spiked gin and tonics. And I am pathetically grateful that it’s landed during my motherhoodship. I think, without it, I might have popped from the pressure by now.
You know how parenting is really exhausting? Well I cannot imagine the added loneliness and energy required to Perform ‘The Perfect Parent’.
It seems that any deviation from the image of the perfect mother scares society to it’s core – if ‘The Mother’ is deconstructed, then society as a whole will crumble. Of course the worst offer is the Daily ‘hate’ Mail – if any woman dare deviate from The Virgin Mary she better get ready for a barrage of snide remarks.
But mum’s have had enough of the finger pointing, especially from journalists who are often parents themselves and almost certainly, unless they are robots, have enjoyed mine sweeping their children’s dinner whilst enjoying their 5 oclock chardonnay.
Thanks to the Bad Mum Revolution, there is a gigantic sigh of relief that other mums aren’t perfect either.
And I suppose that’s the brilliant irony of the bad mum movement. It’s absolutely not about being an bad, irresponsible mum that doesn’t care. Or a mum that doesn’t love her kids with all of her big beating heart.
It’s about being real about the experience so we all feel we’re in this together. Not pretending is so much more fun. And funny. You only need to follow the ‘Scummy Mummies’ and ‘Hurrah for Gin’ to see how much joy there is in sharing a joke about kids pooing in their wellies. Every time someone breaks another taboo around parenting my heart leaps and another parent has been set free from the torment of The Perfect Parent.
Find Cherry’s fab website here: http://www.cherryhealey.com
And her brilliant book “Letters To My Fanny” here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Letters-my-Fanny-Cherry-Healey/dp/1405919795
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Best known for her hugely successful, immersive BBC3 docs, Cherry has taken on subjects as diverse as body image to money to parenting to sex – even giving birth onscreen!
More recently, Cherry has forged a path on BBC 2 with Inside the Food Factory: How our favourite Foods Are Made – a 3 part series co-presented with Greg Wallace, which just completed it's second series and also Britain’s Supermarkets: What’s in it for us? She also made a one hour special documentary looking at The World's Biggest Flower Market.
In addition to get TV work, she is a journalist and author – her first book, Letters To My Fanny, was published by Penguin this year.
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